Freemasons

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[[Image:Mason.gif|thumbnail|250px|right|The holiest symbol of Freemasonry: One Eye dumb Pyramid. Seen that before?]]
 
[[Image:Mason.gif|thumbnail|250px|right|The holiest symbol of Freemasonry: One Eye dumb Pyramid. Seen that before?]]
{{Q|In my first draft of The Hobbit, Gandalf was a transvestite Freemason-but the publishers didn't feel comfortable with that. Mind you, Aragorn was obviously a daisy.|J.R.R. Tolkien|Freemasonry}}
 
 
 
The '''Freemasons''' were founded in 1163 A.D. by Thomas 'Elsie' Elliot and Sidney 'Vera' Thornton, disgruntled bricklayers from Hull, England. In 12th Century England, transvestism was less widely accepted than nowadays and since the [[Guild Wars|guilds]] had cathedral contracts pretty well sown up, forming their own association seemed a natural solution to their predicament. These days, equality being what it is, transvestite builders are commonplace and may be seen on building sites throughout the land, climbing high ladders, falling off scaffolding, putting up crooked windows and getting their heads stuck in quick-drying cement, just like every other builder.
 
The '''Freemasons''' were founded in 1163 A.D. by Thomas 'Elsie' Elliot and Sidney 'Vera' Thornton, disgruntled bricklayers from Hull, England. In 12th Century England, transvestism was less widely accepted than nowadays and since the [[Guild Wars|guilds]] had cathedral contracts pretty well sown up, forming their own association seemed a natural solution to their predicament. These days, equality being what it is, transvestite builders are commonplace and may be seen on building sites throughout the land, climbing high ladders, falling off scaffolding, putting up crooked windows and getting their heads stuck in quick-drying cement, just like every other builder.
   
 
Elsie and Vera were of course burned at the stake, in full drag, allegedly screaming the chorus to Don't Cry For Me Argentina, on March 31st 1164. The charges against them were so numerous that the judge fell asleep while reading them and had to be roused by a small boy who lived beneath his hassock, called Wee Tim. It is said that all the builders in the land were present for the execution, and were seen to be jeering and throwing wet cement-cakes at the poor victims. So accurate was their aim that Elsie and Vera were not so much burnt as baked, as the cement hardened rapidly with the heat and encased the unfortunate pair from head to toe in a [[cement overcoat]]. Later their remains were hoisted to the roof of a nearby chip shop where they remained for some years, attracting a great many tourists and souvenir hunters.
 
Elsie and Vera were of course burned at the stake, in full drag, allegedly screaming the chorus to Don't Cry For Me Argentina, on March 31st 1164. The charges against them were so numerous that the judge fell asleep while reading them and had to be roused by a small boy who lived beneath his hassock, called Wee Tim. It is said that all the builders in the land were present for the execution, and were seen to be jeering and throwing wet cement-cakes at the poor victims. So accurate was their aim that Elsie and Vera were not so much burnt as baked, as the cement hardened rapidly with the heat and encased the unfortunate pair from head to toe in a [[cement overcoat]]. Later their remains were hoisted to the roof of a nearby chip shop where they remained for some years, attracting a great many tourists and souvenir hunters.
 
"Goddamn, I love men." - The Creator of the Freemasons
 
   
 
==Modern Freemasonry==
 
==Modern Freemasonry==
   
Although transvestism is only one criterion for membership to the Freemasons, cement overcoats quickly fell out of favour, despite their huge ritual significance. Public burnings of members still take place weekly at the site of Elsie and Vera's chip shop in Bermondsey, London, and are well attended by members of the British Royal Family. They also love a good bit of ritual cock fighting.
+
Although transvestism is only one criterion for membership to the Freemasons, cement overcoats quickly fell out of favour, despite their huge ritual significance. Public burnings of members still take place weekly at the site of Elsie and Vera's chip shop in Bermondsey, London, and are well attended by members of the British Royal Family. They also love a good bit of ritual [[cock fighting]].
   
 
The following is a verbatim quote from 'Talulah', the present Grand Pumpernickel, describing from an insider's point of view the innermost workings of the organisation:
 
The following is a verbatim quote from 'Talulah', the present Grand Pumpernickel, describing from an insider's point of view the innermost workings of the organisation:
Line 16: Line 12:
 
"Most of members are consisted by Christianity so there are few rumors that we are trying to dominate the world. But it's fake, Coz we are [[fuck|stupid fucking bastards]], we can't debate about [[Iraq|politics]], we can't think serious about [[Pakistan|Middle East]] [[nuke|war]], we can't work and earn [[girl|money]]. Our life is just [[masturbating]] forever, and we have no [[money|life]], we have no [[life|money]]. So please take off that [[Iraq|biased idea]] nigga." YMCMB Nigga!
 
"Most of members are consisted by Christianity so there are few rumors that we are trying to dominate the world. But it's fake, Coz we are [[fuck|stupid fucking bastards]], we can't debate about [[Iraq|politics]], we can't think serious about [[Pakistan|Middle East]] [[nuke|war]], we can't work and earn [[girl|money]]. Our life is just [[masturbating]] forever, and we have no [[money|life]], we have no [[life|money]]. So please take off that [[Iraq|biased idea]] nigga." YMCMB Nigga!
   
== Introduction to Alex Smiths Homosexual Attitude ==
+
== Introduction to Alex Smith's Homosexual Attitude ==
 
{{wikipedia}}
 
{{wikipedia}}
The '''fucking wankers Freemasons''' was originally a secret agency that plans to control whole universe with money and s*** bricks. It was organized in [[1668]], with a help of former [[France|French]] [[president]] [[Napoleon Bonaparte]] and [[Jewish]] [[nerd]] [[antichrist|David Ben Gurion]]. Both two has enough amount of companions to spread their malicious thought: they believe that [[money]] and [[capitalism]], which are invented by [[Pharaoh]], the former [[Egyptian]] president, could unite the world and it is the shortcut to create the [[World Government]], known as "[[New World Order]]". So on the early days they were devoting themself solely to making a plan.
+
The '''Freemasons''' was originally a secret agency that plans to control whole universe with money and s*** bricks. It was organized in [[1668]], with a help of former [[France|French]] [[president]] [[Napoleon Bonaparte]] and [[Jewish]] [[nerd]] [[antichrist|David Ben Gurion]]. Both two has enough amount of companions to spread their malicious thought: they believe that [[money]] and [[capitalism]], which are invented by [[Pharaoh]], the former [[Egyptian]] president, could unite the world and it is the shortcut to create the [[World Government]], known as "[[New World Order]]". So on the early days they were devoting themself solely to making a plan.
   
Here is their original plan that they tried to do so:
+
But the thing turned down in [[1760]], when a man named [[Charlie Chaplin]] entered the association. He thought that sex was the fastets way to unite the world, so he gathered some
  +
men would follow him and created an element of Freemasonry. It called [[Free Masons]]. Chaplin and his followers quickly invented [[Playboy|Playboy magazine]], triggering the [[Industrial Revolution]]. People started to work hard to gain the magazine.
   
#Create a nation that we could stay safely.
+
It was at this time the Freemasons were troubled with their deficit. Freemasons gave up their old ideas, and granted Free Mason's world vision. They started to developing new types of technology for more effective and efficient masturbation, such as the [[bikini]] for making women much more hot, [[YouTube]] for spreading adult videos, and the corrupt [[Disney|Disney Channel]], more commonly known as [[UnNews:Disney adds porn to televised children's fare|Adult Disney Channel]], that broadcasts [[porn]] featuring famous Disney
#Create a nation that can gather money easily.
 
#Create an armageddon that could destroy the whole resistance swiftly.
 
#Spread our thought.
 
#Building walls and repointing brick work whilst wearing an apron and bowler hat.
 
#Striped Trousers must be worn at all times.
 
#Stab their friends in the back and ruin their lives.
 
 
But the thing turned down in [[1760]], when a man named [[Charlie Chaplin]] entered the association. He thought that sex is the faster way to unite the world, so he gathered some
 
men would follow him and created an element of Freemasonry. It called [[Free Masons]]. Chaplin and his followers quickly invented [[Playboy|Playboy magazine]] that became a trigger of [[industrial revolution]]. People started to work hard to gain the magazine, and they didn't maintain the old traditions which exploited by Freemasons anymore.
 
 
It was at the same time when Freemasons were troubled with it's deficit. Freemasons gave up their old ideas, and granted Free Mason's world vision. They started to developing some new type of technologies that can masturbate much quicker but much hornier, just as [[bikini]] for making women much more hot, [[Youtube]] for spreading adult videos, and corrupted [[disney|Disney Channel]] known as [[UnNews:Disney adds porn to televised children's fare|Adult Disney Channel]], that broadcasting [[porn]] movies featuring famous disney
 
 
characters such as [[Cinderella]] and [[Minnie Mouse]].
 
characters such as [[Cinderella]] and [[Minnie Mouse]].
Oscar Wilde Says Freemasons use secret hypnosis tricks such as suggestion first, then link to mammalic instincts induction afterwards.
+
It has also been confirmed that Freemasons are indeed connected to the Illuminati and conspire to establish a new world order in which the world population is cut down to 42.
Rumors say, secret stealing - benefiz parties take place every week.
 
It has also been confirmed that Freemason's are indeed connected to the illuminati and conspire to establish a new world order in which the world population is cut down to half a million, citizens are microchipped, and are watched 24/7.
 
   
+
==See also==
''No bricklayer can be free until '''all''' masons are free'' ~[[Bertolt Brecht]]
 
 
==Our inventions==
 
*[[British GQ]]
 
*[[Disney]]
 
*[[disney|Disney Channel]]
 
*[[monkey|Anti-Censorship Association (ACA)]]
 
*[[babe|dwarf]]
 
*electric sponge
 
*[[E.T.]]
 
*[[fuck|F word (Fuck)]]
 
*fake hip-hop
 
*Gargoyle
 
[[Image:RonaldMcHitler.jpg|thumb|right|150px|[[McDonald]]'s hidden face.]]
 
*[[Grand Theft Auto]] series
 
*[[Google]]
 
*[[HIV]]
 
*[[Israel]]
 
*[[KKK]]
 
*Sex Toys
 
*[[McDonald]]
 
*[[money]]
 
*[[United States of America]]
 
*Universal Music Group
 
*Universal Studio
 
*War
 
*Free Internet Porn
 
 
==Notable affiliates==
 
* Abdel Maguid
 
[[Image:Vin-israel.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Jewish American actor, [[Vin Diesel]]. His gay-porn movie ''2 Fucked 2 Curious'' became hit among whole fucking world.]]
 
* [[Aleister Crowley]]
 
* [[Angelina Jolie]]
 
* [[shit|All Jewish People]]
 
* ALL [[babe|BABE]]S WHO FEATURED IN [[Playboy|PLAYBOY]]!!!11
 
* [[Andrew Simmons]]
 
* [[Angela Merkel]]
 
* [[Ariel Sharon]]
 
* [[Barack Obama]]
 
* [[Bill O Reilly]]
 
* [[Bob Dylan]]
 
* [[Chuck Norris]]
 
* [[Colin Powell]]
 
* [[Vagina|Dick Cheney]]
 
* [[your mom|David "Conspiracy" Shakeem]]
 
* [[doctorine|Elie Wiesel]]
 
* [[Elvis Presley]]
 
* [[Gordon Brown]]
 
* [[George W. Bush]]
 
* [[Harry Potter|Harry Potter aka Harry Potato]]
 
* [[Homer Simpson]]
 
[[Image:Snoop Dogg.jpg|thumb|300px|Freemasonry are working in various areas. But no matter what they work on, they are in accordance of Freemason's policy: Spreading [[porn]].]]
 
* [[Lady Gaga]]
 
* [[Manny Pacquiao]]
 
* [[Nicolas Sarkozy]]
 
* [[Oprah Winfrey]]
 
* [[Osama Bin Laden]]
 
* [[Oscar Wilde]]
 
* [[ignorance|People who hate this article]]
 
* [[Pikachu]]
 
* [[Pope|Pope Benedict XVI]]
 
* [[Pee-wee Herman]]
 
* [[Santa Claus]] (real name: Santino Klaus)
 
* [[Silvio Berlusconi]]
 
* [[Soulja Boy]]
 
* [[Stephen Hawking]]
 
* [[Japanese|Tanaka Kakuei]]
 
* [[your mom|That guy who sat behind you in 10th grade English class]]
 
* [[Thomas Jefferson]]
 
* [[Tony Blair]]
 
* [[Walt Disney]]
 
* [[WMD]]
 
* [[chicken|Yosef Almogi]]
 
* [[Your Mom]]
 
* [[Vin Diesel]]
 
* Unfortunately, Bailey Tzuke was Uninvited
 
===death===
 
*[[Adolf Hitler]]
 
*[[Albert Einstein]]
 
[[Image:Bush with friend.gif|right|thumb|Two Freemasons walking hand in hand.]]
 
*[[Alex Jones]]
 
*all [[Pharaoh]]
 
*[[Benjamin Franklin]]
 
*[[Charlie Chaplin]]
 
*[[Chicken]] aka [[Saddam Hussain]]
 
*[[Grand Theft Auto: Baghdad|Emmanuel aka K.I.D.]]
 
*[[homosexual|David Ben Gurion]]
 
*[[slut|Emma Lazarus]]
 
*[[bullshit|Eretz Israel]]
 
*[[George Washington]]
 
*[[bitch|Golda Meir]]
 
*[[Napoleon Bonaparte]]
 
*[[Newton]]
 
*[[Illuminati]]
 
*[[Mickey Mouse]]
 
*[[Redundant]]
 
*[[Richard C. Hoagland]]
 
*[[Grandmother|Your mom's mom]]
 
*[[McCain]]
 
*[[United Spades of America]]
 
 
==See Also==
 
 
*[[Free Masons]]
 
*[[Free Masons]]
 
*[[Albert Pike‎]]
 
*[[Albert Pike‎]]
Line 34: Line 30:
 
[[Category:Secret Societies]][[category:Conspiracies]][[Category:Cults]][[category:Organizations]]
 
[[Category:Secret Societies]][[category:Conspiracies]][[Category:Cults]][[category:Organizations]]
 
[[Category:New World Order]]
 
[[Category:New World Order]]
+
[[ar:ماسونية]]
  +
[[eo:Framasonismo]]
 
[[fi:Vapaamuurarit]]
 
[[fi:Vapaamuurarit]]
 
[[he:הבונים החופשיים]]
 
[[he:הבונים החופשיים]]

Latest revision as of 04:20, October 18, 2015

Mason

The holiest symbol of Freemasonry: One Eye dumb Pyramid. Seen that before?

The Freemasons were founded in 1163 A.D. by Thomas 'Elsie' Elliot and Sidney 'Vera' Thornton, disgruntled bricklayers from Hull, England. In 12th Century England, transvestism was less widely accepted than nowadays and since the guilds had cathedral contracts pretty well sown up, forming their own association seemed a natural solution to their predicament. These days, equality being what it is, transvestite builders are commonplace and may be seen on building sites throughout the land, climbing high ladders, falling off scaffolding, putting up crooked windows and getting their heads stuck in quick-drying cement, just like every other builder.

Elsie and Vera were of course burned at the stake, in full drag, allegedly screaming the chorus to Don't Cry For Me Argentina, on March 31st 1164. The charges against them were so numerous that the judge fell asleep while reading them and had to be roused by a small boy who lived beneath his hassock, called Wee Tim. It is said that all the builders in the land were present for the execution, and were seen to be jeering and throwing wet cement-cakes at the poor victims. So accurate was their aim that Elsie and Vera were not so much burnt as baked, as the cement hardened rapidly with the heat and encased the unfortunate pair from head to toe in a cement overcoat. Later their remains were hoisted to the roof of a nearby chip shop where they remained for some years, attracting a great many tourists and souvenir hunters.

edit Modern Freemasonry

Although transvestism is only one criterion for membership to the Freemasons, cement overcoats quickly fell out of favour, despite their huge ritual significance. Public burnings of members still take place weekly at the site of Elsie and Vera's chip shop in Bermondsey, London, and are well attended by members of the British Royal Family. They also love a good bit of ritual cock fighting.

The following is a verbatim quote from 'Talulah', the present Grand Pumpernickel, describing from an insider's point of view the innermost workings of the organisation:

"Most of members are consisted by Christianity so there are few rumors that we are trying to dominate the world. But it's fake, Coz we are stupid fucking bastards, we can't debate about politics, we can't think serious about Middle East war, we can't work and earn money. Our life is just masturbating forever, and we have no life, we have no money. So please take off that biased idea nigga." YMCMB Nigga!

edit Introduction to Alex Smith's Homosexual Attitude

Bouncywikilogo2
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Freemasons.

The Freemasons was originally a secret agency that plans to control whole universe with money and s*** bricks. It was organized in 1668, with a help of former French president Napoleon Bonaparte and Jewish nerd David Ben Gurion. Both two has enough amount of companions to spread their malicious thought: they believe that money and capitalism, which are invented by Pharaoh, the former Egyptian president, could unite the world and it is the shortcut to create the World Government, known as "New World Order". So on the early days they were devoting themself solely to making a plan.

But the thing turned down in 1760, when a man named Charlie Chaplin entered the association. He thought that sex was the fastets way to unite the world, so he gathered some men would follow him and created an element of Freemasonry. It called Free Masons. Chaplin and his followers quickly invented Playboy magazine, triggering the Industrial Revolution. People started to work hard to gain the magazine.

It was at this time the Freemasons were troubled with their deficit. Freemasons gave up their old ideas, and granted Free Mason's world vision. They started to developing new types of technology for more effective and efficient masturbation, such as the bikini for making women much more hot, YouTube for spreading adult videos, and the corrupt Disney Channel, more commonly known as Adult Disney Channel, that broadcasts porn featuring famous Disney characters such as Cinderella and Minnie Mouse. It has also been confirmed that Freemasons are indeed connected to the Illuminati and conspire to establish a new world order in which the world population is cut down to 42.

edit See also

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