Fran Drescher

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'''Fran Drescher''', also known as '''The Savior of Humanity''' is a magical being with magical powers. Though some believe her voice to be the work of the devil, it is actually the call of the angels. Of course, you wouldn't know because you are not receptive to angel calls. She is the inventor of modern comedy (although you probably don't know this either). Haterz beware, because Fran will smite you if you disapprove.
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[[Image:3Fran-Dresher.jpg|right|thumb|250px|What is most certainly the height of Fran Drescher's career.]]
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{{wikipedia}}
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{{wilde|Why do I know who this is? Seriously... Why?|[[Fran Drescher|The Whore of Baghdad]]}}
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{{Q|What the hell is that horrible sound?|Me|Fran Drescher's voice}}
   
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'''Fran Drescher''' ([[Hebrew language|Hebrew]]: ''Shhhznkrul Dggkok''), also known as the '''Whore of Baghdad''', is the anthropormorphic embodiment of the "death-rattle". She is the inventor of Super-AIDS, which she is gradually giving to every person within 5 degrees of separation of [[Kevin Bacon]], so you should be ok. She was also the star of some terrible, terrible sitcom, which we can all tell how she got, because it's obvious why her voice is [[Monica Lewinsky's Blue Dress|that way]].
   
== Early Life and Career==
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==Early "Life"==
Fran Drescher descended from the womb of God unto earth in 1 A.D. She roamed the earth as a spirit, watching over the comedians of late, until 1957, in which she was born to Sylvia and Mort Drescher in typical [[Jesus]] fashion, minus the barn and donkeys shining star and whatnot. She remained relatively unknown until starring in several well-known movies such as This is Spinal Tap. Also, she proved her mad dancing skillz to John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever.
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Immediately after the creation of [[Death]], Drescher came into existence, and to this day, exists in a small part of each and every living thing, waiting for her chance to be released. She was commanded to never interfere with our lives, however, in some small subtle way, Fran Drescher is trying to kill us all. After thousands of years in wait, Drescher convinced a poor, hideous leprosy-ridden girl on the streets of Baghdad to be her physical vessel. At first the girl refused, instinctively knowing that this would be worse than a deal with the devil, but after promises of fame, fortune and as much man-meat as her throat could handle, the girl relented. This union also brought about the eventual fall of [[Baghdad]]. The poor child was an innocent in all this, but biblically the blame has been cast upon her, and like so many things in the [[Bible]], this proves [[God]] a huge chauvinist.
   
== The Nanny ==
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==Career==
In 1993, Fran teamed up with Charles Shaughnessy, the offspring of the [[British]] God of Good Looks, to form a [[cure]] for comedic cancer. This cure took form of The Nanny, a glorious sitcom in which Fran proves her awesomeness. Though it is widely regarded to some as annoying, it does not matter, for those who do not appreciate the humor of Fran Drescher are doomed to be smited. They just don't know it yet.
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Some consider what Fran Drescher does to be work, and as such, the horrible things she does are filed under Career.
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*0 [[A.C.]]
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**Fran is created.
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*2003 [[A.C.]]
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**Fran eats the soul of a young woman in Baghdad and takes the form we now know.
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*2004 [[A.C.]]
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**After trying to fellate her way to the top Drescher realizes her skills in all things are rudimentary and falls back on black magic to make her way.
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**Drescher catches the eyes of several Hollywood producers after popping them out with an ice cream scoop.
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*2005 [[A.C.]]
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**''The Nanny'' is first aired.
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*2007 [[A.C.]]
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**During filming of the "love" scene in ''The Beautician and the Beast'', [[Timothy Darling]] receives the first known case of Super-AIDS from Drescher.
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*2008 [[A.C.]]
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**Fran walks over the dead body of her agent and out of Hollywood, after having been called "un-hireable" only seconds before.
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**''The Drescher Campaign of Super-AIDS'' begins and slowly all hope for a persistent human existence comes to an end.
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*2009 [[A.C.]]
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**2,000,000 People have been reported to have "Super-AIDS"
   
== The Bottom Line ==
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[[Category:American actors]]
'''FRAN DRESCHER IS THE EPITOME OF AWESOME.''' If you don't believe this, you're in denial. :P
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[[Category:Women]]
 
{{Q|Fran Drescher is my gift to the world.|God}}
 
 
LEAVE MY PAGE ALONE. Fran's gospel needs to be spread.
 

Latest revision as of 11:58, January 21, 2010

3Fran-Dresher

What is most certainly the height of Fran Drescher's career.

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For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to Fran Drescher.

“Why do I know who this is? Seriously... Why?”
~ Oscar Wilde on The Whore of Baghdad

“What the hell is that horrible sound?”
~ Me on Fran Drescher's voice

Fran Drescher (Hebrew: Shhhznkrul Dggkok), also known as the Whore of Baghdad, is the anthropormorphic embodiment of the "death-rattle". She is the inventor of Super-AIDS, which she is gradually giving to every person within 5 degrees of separation of Kevin Bacon, so you should be ok. She was also the star of some terrible, terrible sitcom, which we can all tell how she got, because it's obvious why her voice is that way.

edit Early "Life"

Immediately after the creation of Death, Drescher came into existence, and to this day, exists in a small part of each and every living thing, waiting for her chance to be released. She was commanded to never interfere with our lives, however, in some small subtle way, Fran Drescher is trying to kill us all. After thousands of years in wait, Drescher convinced a poor, hideous leprosy-ridden girl on the streets of Baghdad to be her physical vessel. At first the girl refused, instinctively knowing that this would be worse than a deal with the devil, but after promises of fame, fortune and as much man-meat as her throat could handle, the girl relented. This union also brought about the eventual fall of Baghdad. The poor child was an innocent in all this, but biblically the blame has been cast upon her, and like so many things in the Bible, this proves God a huge chauvinist.

edit Career

Some consider what Fran Drescher does to be work, and as such, the horrible things she does are filed under Career.

  • 0 A.C.
    • Fran is created.
  • 2003 A.C.
    • Fran eats the soul of a young woman in Baghdad and takes the form we now know.
  • 2004 A.C.
    • After trying to fellate her way to the top Drescher realizes her skills in all things are rudimentary and falls back on black magic to make her way.
    • Drescher catches the eyes of several Hollywood producers after popping them out with an ice cream scoop.
  • 2005 A.C.
    • The Nanny is first aired.
  • 2007 A.C.
    • During filming of the "love" scene in The Beautician and the Beast, Timothy Darling receives the first known case of Super-AIDS from Drescher.
  • 2008 A.C.
    • Fran walks over the dead body of her agent and out of Hollywood, after having been called "un-hireable" only seconds before.
    • The Drescher Campaign of Super-AIDS begins and slowly all hope for a persistent human existence comes to an end.
  • 2009 A.C.
    • 2,000,000 People have been reported to have "Super-AIDS"
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