Yellow, Uncyclopedians! Happy Holidays to all!
I'm sure I'm not the only one that appreciates a nice holiday tradition. Everyone loves hanging up mistletoe, going out with their family to chop down a tree, and coming back minus one child each year. Well, I thought I might implement a new holiday tradition that focuses on the real reason for the season: me.
And so it shall be that as we enter the month of December, all of Uncyclopedia shall come together and join hands to play a game called...
This is going to be a writing competition starting today.
The theme is obvious: me. Write your best article about me that portrays me in a positive light. Make me look as good as possible. Be a kiss ass. Make me feel warm inside. Now spank me and call me a miserable wo-er, ignore that last part. I want to feel good about myself this holiday season. Whoever accomplishes this and does the best job will receive the grand prize of one (1) template.
However, the writing portion of this competition will only affect 40% of the outcome. The rest of it is up to me. The criteria for the remaining 60% of this competition is based on whether or not I like you. If I do not like you, it doesn't matter how good your article is. You won't win. However, if you have been nice to me, friendly with me, or generous with your alcohol, I will favor you in my judging. I am extremely biased in this way, and shamelessly so.
I guess you could start your kissing up now. I will begin judging exactly two weeks from today, on the 12th of December. This will be long enough for all of you to forget about this and not care about it when the time comes for people to be awarded.
I already have someone in mind for my least favorite person. You know who you are. But the favorite person award remains a tossup between just about everyone. This is not true, I am only saying this so that you guys will compete more for my affection.
This is a very stupid thing of me to do. I am competing directly with the Aristocrats' Ball. Unfortunately, I don't care. I'm doing this anyways. And I think it will be fun, even though odds are it won't be fun at all.
A few official rules are below. These are minor details that I can use against you later to prevent you from winning. Below that is the signup list.
@ 03:22 Nov 29
Official rules , a.k.a. minor details I can use against you at a later date
- Entries may be in any namespace (UnBooks, UnPoetia, UnTunes, HowTo:, etc.) so long as they remain in your userspace.
- Entries must contain the word "SysRq" in the title.
- Entries must include, in some way, my image. (The image must be VISIBLE.) You do not have to use that exact image, but it must be incorporated into an image via chopping.
- Any users who submit stories in which the SysRq character is killed/mugged/penetrated/defecated on/urinated on will be killed.
- Any users who accuse this competition of being stupid/a waste of time/an attention-whoring technique/a sea bass will be killed.
- Finally, all submissions must be here by December 12th. By here, I mean linked to from this page, right next to your name on the signup list.
- Regret Tenenbaum - User:Regret Tenenbaum/SysRq - Requiem for a Whiplash
- - User:Kingkitty/SysRq Hello
- TheLedBalloon - User:TheLedBalloon/Whispering rivers dancing through the forests: A compilation of haikus about SysRq
- Simsilikesims - User:Simsilikesims/Sysrq Rickrolled
- Multiliteralist - User:Multiliteralist/SysRq_and_the_revenge_of_the_mutant_zombie_androids
- Nachlader - User:Nachlader/System Requirements
- User:DJ Irreverent/So SysRq is bored... -- 13:49, 29 November 2008 (UTC)