Forum:Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football 2011

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Achtung! Der Entwurf wird am Forum:UFFL 2011 Draft statt. Seien Sie bereit, mit Ihren Ausweispapieren.

Yes, it's getting to be that time of year again--American football season, that is. With news indicating that a breakthrough in CBA negotiations is due any day now, I though there would be no better time than now to get things rolling on the latest season of fantasy football. The league, like last year and the year before, will be on Yahoo! and be made up entirely of Uncyclopedia users. Here are the details:

  • I need a minimum of six guys, and a maximum of twelve--ideally, eight or ten. Last year we had fourteen, which I thought was a bit too many, especially because four or five people neglected to manage their teams.
  • Roster size and scoring will be default. That is: 1 QB, 2 RB, 3 WR, 1 TE, 1 Team defense, 1 Kicker, and six bench positions. Summarizing default scoring will take too long, so I'm not going to do that now.
  • The draft will go down on the forums, per last year. There will be a strict 24 hour per pick rule. That is, if you don't make your pick within 24 hours of the previous pick, you will be automatically assigned a player based on Yahoo!'s preseason rankings, regardless of positional need. There will be no exceptions to this rule--even for me. I'd like to begin the draft in early August, allowing us to draft through the Preseason as it's played.
  • Naturally, this will be a head-to-head formatted league. There will be a fourteen week regular season, with weeks fifteen and sixteen being the playoffs. The top four teams will make the playoffs. (Or, possibly, if we get twelve guys, a thirteen week regular season, with six teams making the playoffs, a three week playoff weeks fourteen through sixteen and the top two teams getting byes.)

So yeah.

Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 00:46, July 19, 2011 (UTC)


  1. Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 00:46, July 19, 2011 (UTC)
  2. I assume that someone who has no idea what they are doing is just as likely if not more likely to win as someone who seems to know what they are doing. --ShabiDOO 01:16, July 19, 2011 (UTC)
    Yeah, basically. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 01:19, July 19, 2011 (UTC)
  3. Derp. -- Sf13 Upsilonsigmasigmacrest 2117 EST 18 July, 2011
  4. AND THUS THE CHEDDAR REVOLUTION RECOMMENCES ON THE HUMBLE INTERNET SITE. - ho scopato tua madre nel culo - 04:35,19July,2011
  5. OH GOD...Oh God. I used to be so addicted to phantasy phootball...I had to make a New-Year's resolution NOT TO PLAY IT. Please don't make me break it! Please don't make me break it! I have no life as it is! Oh GOD...*sob*...put me down for a team... (please God don't let them sign a CBA!) ⇒»Bizzeebeever Icons-flag-us (this user has been deleted) 11:27, July 19, 2011 (UTC)
  6. Herp.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 14:04, July 19, 2011 (UTC)
  7. Football? You bet! --DRStrangesig5 Sherman Fingertalk  14:33, July 19, 2011 (UTC)
  8. On board I'll have a go. Although I don't know anything about the code. mAttlobster. (hello) 15:28, July 19, 2011 (UTC)
  9. Only because Brad is back. Also, what is the limit of people for this year? Woody On Fire! Wood burningTalking Woody Stalking Woody 18:12, July 19, 2011 (UTC)
    I'm thinking twelve at most, fourteen was just too many last year. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 01:44, July 20, 2011 (UTC)
    I'll drop out if the numbers get bigger as I know nothing about NFL. mAttlobster. (hello) 16:18, July 21, 2011 (UTC)
    Actually, having more teams doesn't really put those that don't know the sport at any more of a disadvantage than having a league with fewer teams. Most of it is just dumb luck when it comes down to it anyway. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 17:05, July 21, 2011 (UTC)
  10. \o/Humbuck Talk 00:41, 21 July 2011 (UTC)
  11. Being a Canadian, I barely know anything about the NFL except a few teams, Brett Favre, Tom Brady, and O.J. Simpson. Like Matt lobster, i'll possibly drop out. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 16:21, 21 July 2011
    Last year we had a Brit play (Under user), and he actually performed above the league average. He also drafted his team based entirely on the weirdness of his players' names. Like I said with mattlobster, I really cannot stress enough just how much blind, dumb luck is involved in this. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 17:06, July 21, 2011 (UTC)
    Say, Guildy, I thought you're German. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 17:22, 21 July 2011
  12. Count me in. ~~
    I guess I didn't finish the 4 tildes. :P <insert name here> <(^_^<)Meh.Meh. Meh. or something like that 02:57, July 27, 2011 (UTC)
  13. Fine, I'll sign up. Don't expect me to change my line up or even check what's going on on a regular basis, though. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 20:13, 27 July 2011
    Good to have you, Socky. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:57, July 28, 2011 (UTC)
    No problem, mate. Now if only I could figure out how this whole thing works... >.< Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 03:17, 28 July 2011

Banter, Smack Talk and General Discussion

So, who's excited? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 14:33, July 19, 2011 (UTC)

My balls are bigger than your balls. --ShabiDOO 10:42, July 20, 2011 (UTC)
Yeah, probably. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:04, July 20, 2011 (UTC)
I'm impressed you noticed his balls, what with his woody being on fire and all...--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 02:56, July 21, 2011 (UTC)
Is it possible you are mistaking that one guy that isn't me, with me? Woody On Fire! Wood burningTalking Woody Stalking Woody 13:49, July 21, 2011 (UTC)
I always confuse everyone with everyone, Brad.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 15:25, July 21, 2011 (UTC)
Speaking of which, do we have an appropriate nickname for your nickname, since I 100% refuse to type out Bradaphraser every single time I talk about you behind your back? This is partly because I'm lazy and don't even like to type out my full screen name, and partly because I would butcher the spelling of it every time. (Seriously. I fucked it up the first time, before being smart and just looking at your sig code.) So what is it? BP? Bradley? Brada? Mr. B. Phraser? El Siete? I give up. Woody On Fire! Wood burningTalking Woody Stalking Woody 00:04, July 22, 2011 (UTC)
There are some who call me... Tim. I hate those people. I generally answer to "Bra" or "Brad", though "Bra" will confuse others for reasons I've never fully understood.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 01:01, July 22, 2011 (UTC)
Hi, Tim. Do you hate me now? --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 01:19, 22 July 2011
Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM. <insert name here> <(^_^<)Meh.Meh. Meh. or something like that 01:50, July 22, 2011 (UTC) >:3

Then this is all I have to say to you. Woody On Fire! Wood burningTalking Woody Stalking Woody 15:41, July 22, 2011 (UTC)
Eh. I've been called worse.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 20:42, July 22, 2011 (UTC)

--Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 20:44, 22 July 2011

It's funny you bring that song up. I actually sung that on stage during an original play I directed. True story.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 21:10, July 22, 2011 (UTC)
Unless it's a kid's play, then...hahahahahahahahahahahaha you have Bieber fever, huh Tim? --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 21:37, 22 July 2011
My character was being tortured by a villain with a voodoo-doll-like-apparatus. My character was forced to sing "Baby" as torture. It got one of the biggest laughs of the play.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 23:20, July 22, 2011 (UTC)

So, you should all go read, enjoy, nominate, and love my new UnNews article. Just saying. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 20:30, July 25, 2011 (UTC)

Draft Info

Okay, so here's the deal. The draft will, as in years past, begin on the first Monday in August, meaning that the draft this year will start on Monday, August 1st. As in past years, the draft order will be determined randomly. Two years ago, we did it alphabetically, and last year we did it according to total number of Uncyclopedia edits. This year, I thought we could do it in reverse alphabetical order because, hey, why not. This would make the order as follows:

In the odd-numbered rounds:

1. Woody

2. Skinfan

3. Shabidoo

4. Neox

5. Mattlobster

6. Lollipop

7. Humbucker Socky

8. Guildy

9. DrStrange

10. Cheddar

11. Bradaphraser

12. Bizzeebeever Aimsplode (What the heck, just help me get started.)

In the even-numbered rounds:

1. Bizzeebeever Aimsplode (What the heck, just help me get started.)

2. Bradaphraser

3. Cheddar

4. DrStrange

5. Guildy

6. Humbucker Socky

7. Lollipop

8. Mattlobster

9. Neox

10. Shabidoo

11. Skinfan

12. Woody

Sometime before August 1st, I will make the draft forum, complete with round subheaders and Cheddar's nifty chart. I'll also be making a Big Board forum post so those who aren't knowledgeable about fantasy football can have easy access to player rankings. It'll also make the inevitable autopicks easier to do.

Yeah. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:22, July 24, 2011 (UTC)

Bi before Br?--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 20:45, July 24, 2011 (UTC)
Oh, whoops, let me fix that. I must have been thinking your name was B-A or something when I did that. My bad. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:00, July 25, 2011 (UTC)

The LAST PICK OF THE FIRST ROUND?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
You did that just to f*** me. Well-played, Sir. ⇒»Biz E.B. Ver Icons-flag-us (gabble) 03:04, July 25, 2011 (UTC)

Not really, I did it because of the alphabet. You also have the first pick of the second round, if it's any consolation. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 05:17, July 25, 2011 (UTC)
"...because of the alphabet." You and your wooooords...ragglefrazzlin' ragglefrazzler... ⇒»Biz E.B. Ver Icons-flag-us (gabble) 05:38, July 25, 2011 (UTC)
Third from last? Meh, fine with me. IF ANYONE TOUCHES THE EAGLES I WILL RAPE THEIR FAMILIES. - ho scopato tua madre nel culo - 04:59,26July,2011
Eh, fourth pick isn't too bad... is it? <insert name here> <(^_^<)Meh.Meh. Meh. or something like that 03:03, July 27, 2011 (UTC)
Are we allowed to trade draft picks? I've never been a huge fan of picking first. Also, we should try a auction draft. WAY more fun. Woody On Fire! Wood burningTalking Woody Stalking Woody 04:36, July 27, 2011 (UTC)
Sure you can trade, just ask around and see if someone wants to swap draft positions. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:08, July 27, 2011 (UTC)
Also, seeing as Humbucker dropped out, if you wanted to move to his position, feel free, though it would mean whomever joins to fill the last stop would get the #1 pick and the draft position you currently have. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:25, July 27, 2011 (UTC)
Alright then everybody... Who wants to trade? #1 Pick is officially up for grabs here. Woody On Fire! Wood burningTalking Woody Stalking Woody 16:10, July 28, 2011 (UTC)

Humbucker has dropped out

This means we'll either need a new twelfth player, or for someone else to drop out and make the total number of teams even. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:08, July 27, 2011 (UTC)

Never mind, we've got Socky! —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:56, July 28, 2011 (UTC)

I need to drop out, too

Hi, I have some personal issues that need tending, for the next short-while, and I don't think I can make the draft. (My dog's sick, for one.) But I'll be like the lone, creepy, naked dude at a lesbian orgy: happy to watch! ⇒»Biz E.B. Ver Icons-flag-us (gabble) 17:36, July 28, 2011 (UTC)

Oh sure, make me the last pick.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 01:17, July 29, 2011 (UTC)
Can I replace this guy too? Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 18:46, 29 July 2011

We need one more guy

Anyone? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 18:06, July 29, 2011 (UTC)

If you can help me get started and stuff (tell me how to do things, I've tried before but failed) I'll join, if it's free....since I have a Yahoo. A (Ruins) 23:02, July 29, 2011 (UTC)
Sure thing, I'll help you out. Everything will be spelled out on the draft page I make, so don't worry. If you have any subsequent questions, just ask. Should I consider you signed up? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 05:15, July 30, 2011 (UTC)
Where is the fantasy draft located? --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 05:30, 30 July 2011
Alpha Centauri. If you haven't started yet, you'll probably need to work out some kind of warp device to alter space-time to get there before we start.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 11:28, July 30, 2011 (UTC)
On another forum topic that I haven't made yet, and will make tomorrow. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 18:38, July 30, 2011 (UTC)


Consider me in. Now go here, make a new section, and explain how to use yahoo's fantasy thing again, since I last played back in '08. Tell me the team name, setup, how to navigate, draft...etc etc. Thanks, --A (Ruins) 18:42, July 30, 2011 (UTC)


Is something supposed to be happening? mAttlobster. (hello) 17:31, August 1, 2011 (UTC)

We're waiting for Woody to either pick or shop his pick to someone else. The reason for this is simple. In a "snake" style draft, the person with the #1 overall draft pick will not get to pick again (assuming there's 12 people) until draft pick #24. That's a lot of quality players gone #2-#23. He would get to have the #25 overall pick right after #24 though. If given the choice, I know that I'd probably prefer to be "last" and get #12 and #13 before being "first" and getting #1, #24, #25. Of course, this is still a game of dumb luck so there's plenty of football players who will draft very late, or not at all, and end up being highly valuable. Star running backs get injured and some undrafted scrub suddenly becomes fantasy football gold. I'm sure things will get rolling after Woody finally succumbs to his draft position or somehow shops it. --DRStrangesig5 Sherman Fingertalk  18:42, August 1, 2011 (UTC)
Where is the draft!?!?! --ShabiDOO 18:47, August 1, 2011 (UTC)
I hear ya, you'll have a full 24 hours too but, like most peeps, you won't need it. It'll speed up, trust me. We just have this initial #1 pick apprehension issue as described above. --DRStrangesig5 Sherman Fingertalk  18:53, August 1, 2011 (UTC)
I know this may sound like a stupid question, but how do I know when I have to do something? mAttlobster. (hello) 19:35, August 1, 2011 (UTC)
Someone will message you on your talk page. Don't worry, it'll pick up, promise. 20:10, August 1, 2011 (UTC)
Yes, apologies all around to everyone. I have been given until 9 to either give the pick up, or just suck it up and take it. Sorry for making everyone wait. Woody On Fire! Wood burningTalking Woody Stalking Woody 23:00, August 1, 2011 (UTC)
Ah, there we are. Socky took me up on my offer. He is now on the clock. Woody On Fire! Wood burningTalking Woody Stalking Woody 23:10, August 1, 2011 (UTC)
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