Forum:Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football 2010

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I talked about this with Cheddar on facebook just the other day, and now I've decided it's finally time. Like last year, I intend to run a fantasy football league made up entirely of Uncyclopedia users on Yahoo! Sports--I choose Yahoo! because I imagine most users have a Yahoo! account already, plus their interface is really simple and straightforward. Anyway, here are the details:

  • I need a minimum of six guys, and a maximum of twelve--ideally, eight or ten. Last year we had eight.
  • Roster size and scoring will be default. That is: 1 QB, 2 RB, 3 WR, 1 TE, 1 Team defense, 1 Kicker, and six bench positions. I can't remember exactly what constitutes default scoring at the moment, so yeah.
  • The draft will go down on the forums, per last year. There will be a strict 24 hour per pick rule. That is, if you don't make your pick within 24 hours of the previous pick, you will be automatically assigned a player based on Yahoo!'s preseason rankings, regardless of positional need. There will be no exceptions to this rule--even for me.
  • Naturally, this will be a head-to-head formatted league. There will be a fourteen week regular season, with weeks fifteen and sixteen being the playoffs. The top four teams will make the playoffs. Last year there was a consolation round for teams that didn't make the playoffs, but that's silly, so I don't think I'll have it again.

So yeah, that's basically it.

Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:34, June 29, 2010 (UTC)


Sign up here. Because of the head-to-head nature of the league, we'll need an even number of players. That means if eleven people sign up, we'll only be able to accommodate ten--keep that in mind. First come, first serve.

  1. Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:34, June 29, 2010 (UTC)
  2. --If you're 555 then I'm Number of the Beast Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 03:46, June 29, 2010 (UTC)
  3. Cocks. I like football. ~ Readmesoon 03:48, June 29, 2010 (UTC)
  4. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 07:21, June 29, 2010 (UTC)
  5. I AM THE ERADICATOR!--DRStrangesig5 Sherman Fingertalk  11:47, June 29, 2010 (UTC)
  6. Alright, fine. I'll return...--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 12:07, June 29, 2010 (UTC)
  7. Sure, I'll give it a try. But I must warn you: I only have a Yahoo email account. I don't know if that means i have an account, though. <insert name here> <(^_^<)Meh.Meh. Meh. or something like that 12:46, June 29, 2010 (UTC)
  8. I am pretty awesome... Woody On Fire! Wood burningTalking Woody Stalking Woody 14:03, June 29, 2010 (UTC)
  9. Wow, already a bigger turnout than last year. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! Lucky2 15:22,29June,2010
  10. I will play provided noone expects me to do well. (If others are interested & the cue is full I'll drop out if you ask me nicely.)  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  29 Jun 2010 ~ 23:50 (UTC)
  11. If a 12th person signs up to make this even, I will participate. I understand nothing of the sport, and know none of the players. I will also ask the other participants to make my picks for me. They can choose players as full of suck as they like. Then I will watch eagerly to see if I finish above last place. I will find this interesting. I am strange. --UU - natter UU Manhole 11:04, Jun 30
  12. Alright, yeh talked me into it. -RAHB 11:11, July 1, 2010 (UTC)
  13. Why not have a bye? GiratinaOriginForme |Si Plebius Dato' (Sir) Joe ang Pinoy CUN|IC Kill 800px-Flag of the Philippines svg | 11:39, July 1, 2010 (UTC)
    Because it makes the season way more complicated, and needlessly so. If we get a fourteen person I suppose you can stay, but if not then I'm sorry, but you can't. Sorry Joe. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:34, July 1, 2010 (UTC)
    Though if anyone else drops out, you'll be the first to replace them. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:43, July 1, 2010 (UTC)
    Actually, Skinfan is going to sign up, which means you can stay, Joe, as we'll have an even number of people again. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 05:28, July 4, 2010 (UTC)
  14. Resident Redskins fan reporting in. -- Sir SF13 (Talk) Upsilonsigmasigmacrest GUN WotM RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 01:39 EST 4 July, 2010
    Sorry dude, we already have one. And I don't think we need anyone other than me complaining about how awful they are. Dreadfully, dreadfully awful. Woody On Fire! Wood burningTalking Woody Stalking Woody 14:32, July 7, 2010 (UTC)


If anyone plans on leaving the site for an extended period of time during our draft (which will be in August, apparently), please let me know. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:43, June 30, 2010 (UTC)

I know I'll be gone like a week during August. Don't know the exact dates though. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! Lucky2 04:04,30June,2010
anyone who knows they're going to be absent for a pick should simply make a quick priority list for as many players as there are teams drafting and you'll "auto-draft" for a turn.--DRStrangesig5 Sherman Fingertalk  11:57, June 30, 2010 (UTC)
Couldn't have said it better myself. Yeah, do that. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 13:10, June 30, 2010 (UTC)
I guess I'll do that then. Later. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! Lucky2 15:08,30June,2010

Comments and General Discussion

I'm fucked. If you were here last year, you saw that the majority of my team was made up of Philly. Now, half of Philly has left Philly. WHAT DO I DO NOW?!? It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! Lucky2 15:22,29June,2010

Draft DeSean Jackson in the first round, LeSean McCoy in the second, Kevin Kolb in the third, and then call your team The K-Seans. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:45, June 29, 2010 (UTC)
I look for the Eagles to have a great year, now that they've cut and traded away all their Pro Bowlers...--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 20:59, June 29, 2010 (UTC)
Maybe you should draft skilled players from around the entire league this year. You know, the way everybody else does it? -RAHB 11:15, July 1, 2010 (UTC)
*scribbles notes furiously* Draft skilled players - hmm, it's so crazy it might just work... --UU - natter UU Manhole 11:29, Jul 1

Alright, here's the deal, cupcakes

First of all, I'm very pleased with the high turnout already. Secondly, we need to determine just when we're going to have our draft. Because we'll be doing on the Forums, it's going to take a long friggin' time. Last year it took nearly a month. Keeping that in mind, I've got two possible options of when we can do our draft.

1. Option No. 1: The Draft starts on Monday July 5th, and goes until roughly the end of the month. This way, we jump into the red-hot drafting action as soon as possible. It also means that we'd be drafting before even the Preseason begins, which is risky for a number of obvious reasons. It also means that August would be a month full o' nothing but waiting.

2. Option No. 2: The Draft starts on Monday August 2nd, to roughly coincide with the start of the Preseason. This way, we can draft throughout the preseason, which is less risky than drafting before it. However, it means July would be a month full o' nothing but waiting.

3. Option No. 3: The Draft takes place on a date somewhere between those for Option No. 1 and Option No. 2. In the event that those prior two proposals are totally unworkable/unsatisfactory for whatever reason.

Well what do you guys think?

Oh, and thirdly, as your league commissioner, you are all hereby obligated to vote for all of my articles on VFH. *cough cough cough*. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:36, June 29, 2010 (UTC)

*COUGH COUGH COUGH*Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 13:09, June 30, 2010 (UTC)

Option No. 1

Score: 1

Option No. 2

Score: 7

Option No. 3 (And suggestions of when and why)

Score: 0

Option No. 4

Score: (>^_^)>

Section Dedicated to Football Banter, Which Will Keep Us All Occupied Until August

So, my home team, the Buffalo Bills, suck. Discuss. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:17, June 30, 2010 (UTC)

They do suck. Very much. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! Lucky2 02:58,30June,2010
How about those vuvuzelas? Wait, wrong football. <insert name here> <(^_^<)Meh.Meh. Meh. or something like that 10:57, June 30, 2010 (UTC)
Picking up Owens was so stupid. You need to have an established air game before you pick up the high priced FA receiver. What were they thinking? Without an offensive line and consistent QB, It's a waste of money. Obviously, he's gone now but they could have done so much more with the money. As for the future? They might surprise you with an 8-8 this year!--DRStrangesig5 Sherman Fingertalk  12:01, June 30, 2010 (UTC)
Your options are either Trent Edwards or Ryan Fitzpatrick at QB this year. Sorry. Also, your uniforms are kind of balls. Go back to the super-sweet old school ones. Those look nice. Woody On Fire! Wood burningTalking Woody Stalking Woody 13:27, June 30, 2010 (UTC)
Apparently the rational of picking up Owens was to sell tickets (get your popcorn ready!). See, because the Bills are perennially awful, interest in them has been gradually decreasing, especially among casual fans, because they have nothing to look forward to. But you sign Owens, and all of a sudden people get interested and start buying his jerseys and start buying boxes of TO's and whatnot. Our ownership knew he wasn't going to do shit in terms of production, which is why they only signed him to one year. They gave him a lot of money to come here, but the money they made in additional season ticket sales/jerseys/airtime that they wouldn't have otherwise had more than made up for it. I suspect that's the rational behind drafting C.J. Spiller this year, too. Obviously, it's more of a long-term commitment, drafting a player in the first round, but because Buffalo is 1) a small-market team, and 2) fucking boring to watch play, we need to sell tickets any way we can. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:25, June 30, 2010 (UTC)
And I hate our uniforms, too. A third of the teams in the league rock the whole red-blue-white look in some capacity or another. Our older uniforms are better, but still boring, in my opinion. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:25, June 30, 2010 (UTC)
I was in love with the Bills during the Jim Kelly years. It was like an automatic W on my football pool every week, you didn't have to think too hard. I honestly don't remember any super-duper $$ stars on those teams or any high profile acquisitions needed to put people in the seats but I understand where that logic comes from. It's the same logic that brought Bonds to SF. You know what, I miss Bonds...... --DRStrangesig5 Sherman Fingertalk  18:20, June 30, 2010 (UTC)
Yeah, we were pretty boss back then, dominating the inferior AFC of the early nineties and all. Bill Polian, the man who built those great Bills teams, has been with Indianapolis since 1998, which is just part of the reason for my love affair with Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts. But yeah, ever since he left things haven't quite been the same, quite obviously. Our personnel people are awful now (but not as bad as Jacksonville's, mercifully). —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 19:35, June 30, 2010 (UTC)

This season belongs to the Jets. You can all suck it. -RAHB 11:23, July 1, 2010 (UTC)

  1. Have anyone heard of "Aussie Rules" or AFL? I and POTR heard of it. GiratinaOriginForme |Si Plebius Dato' (Sir) Joe ang Pinoy CUN|IC Kill 800px-Flag of the Philippines svg | 11:40, July 1, 2010 (UTC)
Dude, the Jets fucking suck. They went 8-8 in the regular season (two of those wins being total gifts). I give them credit for beating the Bangles in back-to-back weeks, but the Chargers choked hard. Of all their vaunted free agent acquisitions, the only one worth anything is Holmes from the Steelers, and even then he's only slightly better than Edwards and Cotchery. Basically the Jets suck. I'm liking the Dolphins to win the division this year, actually. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:41, July 1, 2010 (UTC)
The Dolphins won't start to succeed until they realize what we've all realized years ago. That Chad Pennington has the balls of a two year old, the bones of an insect, and the leadership ability of a garbage man trainee. LT has still got it, and the Jets defense is sorely underrated. I'd like it if they found some better O-line power, but I see them winning ten games this year. Although their late season heroics last year were in fact gimmes, but what they were lacking last year, they've picked up this year in some experiences players, not to mention the boost of having advanced in the playoffs under a rookie coach and rookie quarterback. -RAHB 22:11, July 1, 2010 (UTC)
Yes, the 'Fins do realize that Pennington has the bones of an insect and whatnot, which is why he'll be backing up Chad Henne this season. And while I think that stories of LT's demise have been exaggerated, you have to wonder if he's the equal to the backs the Jets lost this offseason in Thomas Jones and Leon Washington. I think not. Plus, expectations for the Jets are so high this year that I don't think that such a young team can possibly measure up to them. And the 'Fins, while I do hate them (almost as much as the Jets), have been on the verge for a couple years now. They've added Karlos Dansby and Brandon Marshall, who are both easily Top-3 players at their respective positions. The AFC East is still a really tough division, but I look for the Dolphins to go 11-5 and win it. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 22:55, July 1, 2010 (UTC)
Ah, well then, Henne and Marshall should do well together. Obviously the Jets won't meet their ridiculous expectations, a byproduct simply of the fact that sports media shits themselves every time a big name player moves a foot to somewhere else. Some interviewer actually asked LT the other day "When you go to the hall of fame, will you go as a Charger, or as a Jet?" What the fuck do they pay these people to ask these ridiculous questions? At any rate, I still don't see the Dolphins winning more than ten games this year, but then I don't see the Jets winning more than eleven really, and more likely ten. Either way both teams are looking at some nice success in years to come, which is great for their previously awful division. I conclude this by saying that the only thing I know about football that Under_User doesn't is the rules. -RAHB 23:08, July 1, 2010 (UTC)
I am a little rusty. Can you still finesse a running flush by queening your pawn in a batting powerplay? --UU - natter UU Manhole 08:12, Jul 2
What are you both talking about? UU's got the rules mastered, from the looks of it. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 14:30, July 3, 2010 (UTC)
I obviously stand corrected. -RAHB 21:51, July 3, 2010 (UTC)
I thought for a second you wrote Brandon Loyd there Guildy, carry on :D -- Sir SF13 (Talk) Upsilonsigmasigmacrest GUN WotM RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ14:37 EST 4 July, 2010
Oh, has there been some football going on...? Must have missed it. Never mind: the Tour de France starts today, so we can all watch some exciting sport instead. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 14:54, July 3, 2010 (UTC)
That's nice. I want to talk about video games; are you guys okay with that? <insert name here> <(^_^<)Meh.Meh. Meh. or something like that 12:11, July 4, 2010 (UTC)

We Need Something Else to Banter About

Suggestions? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:17, July 7, 2010 (UTC)

I'm punching the next person I meet who refers to soccer as football. This is football. Bitches. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! Lucky2 03:22,7July,2010
Hmm, this topic has potential. Football is better than "football." Discuss. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:27, July 7, 2010 (UTC)
Soccer is OK, but Football will always be #1 in my heart, with hockey and baseball tied for a close second place. -- Sir SF13 (Talk) Upsilonsigmasigmacrest GUN WotM RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 02:51 EST 7 July, 2010
Ahem, this sounds like a discussion infinitely suited to my participation... You are all wrong. Wow, that was easy. Next discussion. --UU - natter UU Manhole 08:08, Jul 7
Again, I'd like to talk about video games. <insert name here> <(^_^<)Meh.Meh. Meh. or something like that 11:27, July 7, 2010 (UTC)
Well, in my opinion, soccer, or "football," is boring as all fuck. I've tried on several occasions to watch World Cup matches,'s's just so fucking boring. Nothing happens. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 13:02, July 7, 2010 (UTC)
If you're gonna get serious on my ass, then I'd say it's partly to do with what you grow up with (the more you have an innate understanding of something, the more likely you are to enjoy it); it's also partly to do with if you've played it much (understanding the level of skill involved normally increases the enjoyment of watching something) and partly to do with getting the right matches - there have been some colossally dull matches at this World Cup, there always are some (no-one pretends every match can be a classic) - on the other hand, I have watched some colossally dull games of your gridiron thingy (I have also watched some more entertaining ones, I'm not one of these football purists who dismisses US football out of hand). On the other hand, if you're not gonna get serious on my ass, then I'll refer you to my comment about you being wrong, and be on my merry way. --UU - natter UU Manhole 13:45, Jul 7
I played soccer for 2 years. My sister played it for 9 years. I can't stand it. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! Lucky2 14:25,7July,2010
Hence the phrase "more likely to" rather than "you will" enjoy it. I played rugby for years when I was a kid. Hate the fucking sport. Way it goes. --UU - natter UU Manhole 14:30, Jul 7
I've actually played some soccer too. Nothing organized or anything--just in my friend Cody's yard when we got bored of playing football. And, I have to say, even from those couple summers of fucking around playing pick-up games of neighborhood soccer, I do have at least some level of appreciation for 1) the skill set one needs to effectively play, and 2) the physical conditioning required to effectively play. That all being said, I still think it's quite boring to watch. Like, really boring. I can see the appeal, I guess, I just don't fully have/appreciate it. So basically I agree with what UU just said, for the most part. I didn't mean to get all serious on anyone's ass or anything, so yeah. Um, new subject, I guess. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 14:56, July 7, 2010 (UTC)
I can take your comments there, and reverse them almost exactly about American Football. Except I have seen a couple of worthwhile matches. But yeah, this could get really serious, because while I'm not the kind of football fan who automatically ridicules American Football (as I say, I've quite enjoyed it at times, despite my incomprehension), I will stand up and be counted for my beloved football. I've stood in the rain and watched the most dire matches imaginable (my team, Leeds United, have sucked hugely for most of the last decade, it has been a true ordeal to follow them) and I still love the sport in a way I find impossible to communicate. So yeah, new topic: how about "tell UU which are the best players to pick and why"? You can be as creative as you like here - I'll never know until it's far too late. Or you could try and get me to support your team for the season. Actually, I like that. --UU - natter UU Manhole 15:08, Jul 7

Can we pick the order not-via Alphabetical this year?

I would enjoy that greatly. Woody On Fire! Wood burningTalking Woody Stalking Woody 00:57, July 16, 2010 (UTC)

UU Should Support My Team Because

OK, seeing as I'm trying here - give me the best reason to follow your team, and if I like it, I will throw my full support their way, and try to care about their fortunes. I want interesting reasons to folllow a team though; none of this "they're good" bollocks - intrigue me. --UU - natter UU Manhole 15:08, Jul 7

I think you should follow and support The Indianapolis Colts. Despite living outside of Buffalo, they're my team, I guess you could say. I still pull for my local Bills too, obviously, but when it comes down to it I guess I'm a Colts fan first and foremost. I will give you several reasons why you should follow the Colts. 1) They're perennially good, and have some of the best players in the league at certain positions: Peyton Manning is arguably the best quarterback in the league, and is one of the few players smart enough to call his own plays; Dwight Freeney and Robert Mathias combine to make the most productive defensive end tandem in the league over the last four or five seasons; Bob Sanders is one of the Colts' two safties, and is known for getting injured every single season--the one season he didn't get injured, he was named Defensive Player of the Year; Jeff Saturday, despite being called too weak and too small coming out of college, has blossomed to become arguably the best and most intelligent center in the league; oh, and then you have Reggie Wayne at receiver--he's pretty good, too. Now, it's not like the Colts just have this massive stockpile of talent--as a matter of fact, the NFL's team salary cap makes that pretty much impossible. A big part of the reason they're so good, then, comes from reason 2) They're one of the best-managed teams in the league. Bill Polian, the Colts' general manager, is basically a genius when it comes to building successful teams and drafting personnel. (Fun fact: his first draft pick was Peyton Manning, mentioned above.) Polian's the man that made the Colts into a winner. He's also the man responsible for the great Buffalo Bills teams of the early 1990s. I think the Bills have had just two winning seasons since Polian left in 1996. So yeah, because Polian's so good at drafting players, and Peyton Manning is so good at throwing the ball to the players Polian drafts, 3) the Colts are an exciting team to watch, because they're offense is so friggin' good year in and year out. And they're defense is one of the league's faster units, so they're fun to watch as well. And, most importantly of all, despite being so good and exciting to watch and being competitive year in and year out, 4) the Colts always choke in the playoffs. I can't count on one hand the number of times they've had a brilliant regular season, only to choke in the playoffs. It's astounding, really. 2004: Peyton Manning breaks the all-time single-seasons passing touchdown record, and they lose their first playoff game. 2005: the Colts become one of only four (now six) teams ever to begin a season 13-0, and they lose their first playoff game. 2007 and 2008: 12-4 in the regular season, 0-1 in the playoffs. Oddly enough, the one year (2006) they managed to win the friggin' Superbowl they had the league's worst rush defense. Figure that. (They also made it to the Superbowl last year, and lost it, despite dominating the first quarter and having a chance to win later in the fourth. sigh...) So, basically, you should be a fan of the Indianapolis Colts. Yeah. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:39, July 7, 2010 (UTC)
Bump. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:21, July 13, 2010 (UTC)
Update: looks like the Colts are juuuuuust about in the lead in this exciting race. Will any of the other contenders pip them to the post, or is UU about to discover the myriad joys of following the Colts? Stay tuned! --UU - natter UU Manhole 08:03, Jul 13
You should support the San Francisco 49ers. They were good once. Maybe you could be good once too. Woody On Fire! Wood burningTalking Woody Stalking Woody 00:56, July 16, 2010 (UTC)
I agree with my woody. Also, woody, you're mine now. Just sayin'--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 00:40, July 19, 2010 (UTC)
Whelp, looks like UU's going to be a Colts fan. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:01, July 23, 2010 (UTC)
Yeah, pretty conclusively. "Let's vote! 49ers win, 2-1. That gives the Colts the victory."--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 15:47, July 23, 2010 (UTC)
Well, he never said that the Colts were no longer in the lead of his "exciting race," so until he says otherwise I can at least claim to have the lead. Plus we (barely) beat you guys in the regular season last year. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:43, July 24, 2010 (UTC)
I have no recollection of that year, nor any year that didn't take place between 1981 and 2000. Sorry. Incidentally, the Colts are one of the worst teams in the league during this stretch.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 02:48, July 24, 2010 (UTC)
Selective amnesia--strange. As a Colts fan, I find myself forgetting the January of every year this past decade except for 2007. Weird how stuff like that works. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:21, July 24, 2010 (UTC)
I actually said I wanted to be interested and intrigued, not drowned in information. I was hoping, given that this is Uncyclopedia, to be told someone's team had the hottest cheerleaders, or someone else's ground was reputed to be haunted by dancing bears or something. Looks like the Colts are winning by sheer volume of information right now, but a good, solid interesting fact about the 49ers could swing it. If anyone cares enough. --UU - natter UU Manhole 15:03, Jul 28
Nope, looks like they don't. OK, Colts it is then. Go Colts! Do we have a cool chant or anything? --UU - natter UU Manhole 13:54, Aug 4
American Football isn't nearly as big on chants as Rest of the World Football is. The Jets do have their extremely creative J - E - T - S JETS! chant, and there are generic ones like Dee-FENSE, Dee-FENSE, though fan involvement in American Football is generally limited to yelling really loudly at the field/television whenever something very positive or negative happens. (And drinking. Lots and lots of drinking.) Least there aren't any vuvuzelas, though. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 14:42, August 4, 2010 (UTC)
OK, this is going to take some getting used to. Which fondly-remembered player of yesteryear can I claim the current squad aren't fit to lace the boots of when they blow an easy game? --UU - natter UU Manhole 14:50, Aug 4
If you want to root for the Colts, you don't even need to go towards yesteryear. Just say that no one can lace the boots of current Colts Quarterback, Sean Peyton Manning, or Peyton for short. He's good enough to be considered an unretired version of a good retired player. Woody On Fire! Wood burningTalking Woody Stalking Woody 15:00, August 4, 2010 (UTC)
Very true. Or you could talk about good ol' Johnny Unitas if you want to go old school. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:59, August 4, 2010 (UTC)
The 49ers have a bevvy of famous players of old. One of them is going into the Hall of Fame this year: Jerry Rice. He was a receiver and has more touchdowns than anyone else in history. Like, a good chunk more than anyone else (Rice: 208, 2nd place: 175, 3rd: 153). They also had a quarterback that is still regarded as one of the best ever (still has the best career in the Super Bowl) in Joe Montana and other players I'm too bored to mention at the moment. The greatest player in Colts history is still probably Johnny Unitas, just because he had so many years as being the best quarterback in the league and there being no question about it (something like 10 years as the only truly great QB in the league... that's saying something. Manning has had to compete with Brady, Favre, his brother [for a bit] and so on). Pick any team, and I can give you their glorious history (no, seriously, I can).--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 02:02, August 5, 2010 (UTC)


So, I'm thinking those of us who care to try can attempt to pick the division winners before preseason, after preseason, and after weeks 4, 8, and 12. Then, after the season, we can all look back and realize how completely fucking wrong we were. Professional sports writers do this all the time. Have at it. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:06, July 7, 2010 (UTC)



  • AFC NORTH: Ravens
  • AFC EAST: Dolphins
  • AFC SOUTH: Colts (naturally)
  • AFC WEST: Chargers
  • Wild Cards: Titans, Bengals
  • NFC NORTH: Vikings
  • NFC EAST: Cowboys
  • NFC SOUTH: Saints
  • NFC WEST: 49ers
  • Wild Cards: Packers, Eagles

Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:06, July 7, 2010 (UTC)


  • AFC NORTH: Steelers
  • AFC EAST: Dolphins
  • AFC SOUTH: Texans
  • AFC WEST: Raiders
  • Wild Cards: Colts, Ravens
  • NFC NORTH: Bears
  • NFC EAST: Cowboys
  • NFC SOUTH: Buccaneers
  • NFC WEST: 49ers
  • Wild Cards: Vikings, Saints

Marvel as these completely random and uninformed picks lifted at random from the pages on the appropriate leagues on Wikipedia turn out to be as accurate as any of yours! (Mind you, I'm not sure about this Wild Card thing, I may have misunderstood the point of that). --UU - natter UU Manhole 15:24, Jul 7

Basically, there are six teams that make the playoffs from each Conference--the four division winners, and two "wild card" teams that have the best record in that conference of any non-division-winning team. Come playoff time, the division winners are seeded 1-4 based on their records, and the "wild card" teams are given the 5 and 6 seeds. (The 1 and 2 seeds have byes the first round of the playoffs.) —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:45, July 7, 2010 (UTC)


  • AFC NORTH: Ravens
  • AFC EAST: Patriots
  • AFC SOUTH: Titans
  • AFC WEST: Chargers
  • Wild Cards: Colts, Browns
  • NFC NORTH: Packers
  • NFC EAST: Eagles
  • NFC SOUTH: Saints
  • NFC WEST: Cardinals
  • Wild Cards: Vikings, Giants

It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! Lucky2 15:44,7July,2010

The Ravens win the division and are the second wild card team? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:46, July 7, 2010 (UTC)
Oops. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! Lucky2 15:52,7July,2010
Now you've got the Browns making the playoffs? Hell, it made more sense the other way you had it. :-P —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 04:01, July 8, 2010 (UTC)
Eh, didn't really think it through, just randomly chose one to fill the spot. Might change it later, unless I don't feel like it. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! Lucky2 04:19,8July,2010
I'm not being serious or anything--hell, who knows what could happen. Did anyone going in to last year seriously think we were going to be calling the Saints Super Bowl Champions? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 04:22, July 8, 2010 (UTC)
I did. I said that all season, from the very beginning to very end (well, if the Eagles didn't make it). It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! Lucky2 04:25,8July,2010
Oh, yeah, I remember that. Well then. Yeah. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 04:33, July 8, 2010 (UTC)


  • AFC NORTH: Browns
  • AFC EAST: Patriots
  • AFC SOUTH: Colts
  • AFC WEST: Raiders
  • Wild Cards: Chiefs, Dolphins
  • NFC NORTH: Vikings
  • NFC EAST: Cowboys
  • NFC SOUTH: Saints
  • NFC WEST: Rams
  • Wild Cards: Falcons, Cardinals

<insert name here> <(^_^<)Meh.Meh. Meh. or something like that 17:05, July 7, 2010 (UTC)


  • AFC NORTH: Steelers
  • AFC EAST: Patriots
  • AFC SOUTH: Colts
  • AFC WEST: Raiders
  • Wildcards: Dolphins, Broncos
  • NFC NORTH: Packers
  • NFC EAST: Cowboys
  • NFC SOUTH: Buccaneers
  • NFC WEST: 49ers
  • Wild Cards: Giants, Redskins

Going by history, since every year is its own season.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 00:47, July 19, 2010 (UTC)

Taking bets

So who is going to be the one person to not figure out how Yahoo works and end up as a BYE for the season? I'm guessing Happytimes. Or UU. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! Lucky2 02:50,13July,2010

Actually, I'm thinking everyone'll have their shit together this year. LL notwithstanding, most people can figure out how to make a Yahoo! account. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:56, July 13, 2010 (UTC)
Is a Yahoo! email address the same as a Yahoo! account? <insert name here> <(^_^<)Meh.Meh. Meh. or something like that 11:42, July 13, 2010 (UTC)
Ya know Cheddar, I used to like you. (The only problem I have is figuring out which Yahoo account to use. stalker_van_man_69 is pretty empty right now but, team_jacob_4_evah might be better because it has all my makeup & spa coupons readily available and I can multitask when arranging my roster.)  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  14 Jul 2010 ~ 05:48 (UTC)
You used to like me? I'm touched. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! Lucky2 14:55,14July,2010
Seriously, answer my question! <insert name here> <(^_^<)Meh.Meh. Meh. or something like that 00:18, July 16, 2010 (UTC)
IDK. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! Lucky2 00:28,16July,2010
Seriously, yes. UNSeriously, no.  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  16 Jul 2010 ~ 01:37 (UTC)

Pick order

How should we order the picks this year? I vote for using number of edits (this year, not every year).--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 14:10, July 28, 2010 (UTC)

For those curious, it would come out like this:
  1. Under_user - 26,768
  2. RAHB - 12,613
  3. Bradaphraser - 11,477
  4. Gerrycheevers - 10,194
  5. Guildensternenstein - 6,927
  6. Joe9320 - 6,509
  7. CheddarBBQ - 6,311
  8. Iwillkillyou333 - 5,385
  9. The_Woodburninator - 5,255
  10. DrStrange - 4,728
  11. Happytimes - 3.378
  12. Skinfan13 - 3,377
  13. Readmesoon - 1,173
  14. Neox - 555

The fact this puts me near the top of the order is a coincidence, and should be ignored.  :)--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 14:28, July 28, 2010 (UTC)

Also, I ran the numbers, and it looks like it will take us 5 months to do this draft (168 days, to be exact).--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 14:33, July 28, 2010 (UTC)
Possibly slightly longer, given how active some of these guys are (Gerry's not been seen pretty much since he signed up for this thing). But I like your list - has a certain je ne sais quoi. Even though if I go first, I'll look even dumber when I pick the worst guy available in the whole league. Ah well. I could do some research, and find out who's worth a punt - but where's the fun in that? --UU - natter UU Manhole 14:58, Jul 28
That's why Yahoo rankings are your best friend! After the first couple rounds, every highly ranked and/or injured veteran that nobody wants or every unnecessarily high ranked prospect who doesn't even have a starting job (yet) will be at the top of the list, ensuring the best choices for your team.--DRStrangesig5 Sherman Fingertalk  15:32, July 28, 2010 (UTC)
That sounds sufficiently random and fair to me. And there's a 24 hour time limit on picks, so even if someone doesn't make their pick, it'll at worst only set us back a day. Ideally, more than one person will pick in a day, so yeah. Also, RAHB, Woody and myself picked first, eighth and fifth last year as well, respectively. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:06, July 29, 2010 (UTC)
We're starting August 2, correct?--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 12:15, July 29, 2010 (UTC)
Yes, yes we are. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:22, July 30, 2010 (UTC)
Also, I just realized RAHB is picking second, not first, as I for some reason thought before. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:24, July 30, 2010 (UTC)
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