Forums: Index > Village Dump > UnBook Idea Melting Pot
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Hey everybody, I'd like to know what ideas people have for writing an UnBook. Dannehvirus 05:06, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

Dick jokes. Or alternatively, cock jokes. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 05:12, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
A bit of Robin Williams, eh? We'll see. But I don't think I'll be nearly as funny as he is. Dannehvirus 05:17, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
You'll do fine. Just write something. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 05:18, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

I got it! Play along, ok? KNOCK KNOCK. Dannehvirus 05:20, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

NOBODY'S HOOO-OOME!!! Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 16:48, Jan 7 2010
Dave's not here, man. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN22:34, 7 Jan
Perhaps you should write UnNews:Area Man Unable to Tell the Difference Between Kenny Rogers and Willie Nelson. It's not really an UnBook, or a funny idea, but it's certainly a title. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 00:29, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
Another title is UnNews:Willie Nelson Needs to Cover Up His Old-Man-Shoulders, Says Obama. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 00:30, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
And a third one is UnNews:I'm Pretty Sure One of My Testicles is Slightly Inflamed. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 00:31, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
Oh, yeah, and if I was going to do an UnBook, I might try doing an unauthorized biography of someone I know nothing about, and fill it with fictional, barely-plausible scandals. Like UnBooks:Michael J. Fox:The Unauthorized Biography. That might work. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 00:33, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
Or you could take that news story and expand it into a 200-page novel: UnBooks:I'm Pretty Sure One of My Testicles is Slightly Inflamed. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 00:33, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
UnBooks:It Appears That Hyperbole Is Off His Meds Again could be interesting. Or perhaps UnBooks:I Really Ought To Pay Optimuschris That $20 I Owe Him. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN00:36, 8 Jan
Don't forget UnBooks:UnNews:I'm Pretty Sure One of Michael J. Fox's Testicles is Slightly Inflamed. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 02:31, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
Or UnNews:Kenny Rodgers, Willie Nelson Unable to Tell the Difference Between UnBooks:UnNews:I'm Pretty Sure One of Michael J. Fox's Testicles is Slightly Inflamed and Obama Woody On Fire! Wood burningTalking Woody Stalking Woody 14:52, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
MARTY! You've gotta come back with me! Back to the future! It's your balls! Something's gotta be done about your balls! - T.L.B. Baloon WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 23:10, Jan 8

Cheddar's Organized Ideas

UnBooks: Why I Hate Megan Fox More Than That Time Of The Month. That's it. - ho scopato tua madre nel culo - 00:28,9January,2010

Because you're jealous of her eyebrows? Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 00:53, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
Because she's the latest addition to the long list of girls that won't sleep with you? -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN14:57, 9 Jan
Because one of your testicles is slightly inflamed? Dannehvirus 22:22, January 10, 2010 (UTC)
No. No. Somewhat. - ho scopato tua madre nel culo - 03:59,11January,2010


These crazies would like to see an UnBook with dick jokes, cock jokes, Michael J. Fox, inflamed testicles, Megan Fox, Willie Nelson, Kenny Rogers, Obama, old-man shoulders and users being off their meds, would they? I think the last one may be too believable, by looking at this forum... Dannehvirus 22:30, January 10, 2010 (UTC)

Being "off our meds" implies that we were ever on them. Undiagnosed schizophrenia is the best kind of schizophrenia. Go voices in my head! Woo! Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 23:49, January 10, 2010 (UTC)
I wasn't gonna write, but they made me: Unbooks:Boy George Scouts invade Yemen to secure magic underwear. A decade in review.  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  11 Jan 2010 ~ 02:08 (UTC)

Here's What I'm Doing

It's called User:Dannehvirus/UnBook:Fluffy The Murderous Cat, a story about an evil cat with a chainsaw. The Yard have to solve the string of murders he creates. I'm up to Chapter 3 at the moment. See my User page if you want more info. Also, another idea, the Shitzenfaced Beer Festival, which could make for a hilarious UnNews article. Dannehvirus 03:42, January 11, 2010 (UTC)

I'm concerned that you're having trouble differentiating between funny and zany. I honestly don't find your UnBook funny. It's very, very zany, but not funny. And with that, let me just run you through the five stages of humor that each human being goes through.
  1. Exclamatory. The first thing that people find funny, starting at about age one, is exclamations. Look at a baby, yell "BOOP!", and it laughs. Why? I don't know.
  2. Slapstick. Slapstick isn't far behind. If you walk up to a two-year-old, trip, and exaggeratedly fall down, it laughs.
  3. Smut comes next. This kicks in, I don't know, maybe about age five or six? Look at a kid that age and say "There were seven butts pooping on a butt, and then that butt started farting on all the other butts," and you'll have him rolling in the aisles.
  4. Absurdity is the next one. This form of humor kicks in at maybe around age twelve. Twelve-year-olds will laugh because something is "so random." A guy is going to make a phone call, but instead of a phone, he pulls out a Schnauzer. That's the joke.
  5. Satire comes last. Satire is generally a form of misdirection. Take something someone is familiar with, and misdirect it somewhere else. Or, for bonus points, misdirect it by refusing to misdirect it. Form novel and unusual associations. Because, by a certain age, people will rarely laugh at things that aren't clever (except when they're clever in their steadfast refusal to be clever).
Okay, so the problem with your article is that it gets stuck at absurdity. A cat with a chainsaw is absurd, but it is not satirical. It has no real-world analogue, except maybe a few obscure webcomics. Inspectors named Trousers and Belt is not satirical. It's just absurd. You might want to glance at UN:HTBFANJS; the name "Inspector Belt" is, unfortunately, not funny, and just stupid.
Now, to your credit, there is a little bit of satire here, in that you're parodying a Maltese Falcon-style film noir detective story, but that's a horse that's been beaten to death. And nobody really gives a crap about film noir detective stories. Did you catch the Simpsons where Bart opened a Mad Magazine and exclaimed "The Lighter Side of Hippies!? Man, these guys don't care whose toes they step on!" See, that was funny, because it attacked a target - Mad Magazine - in which its audience does have at least a modicum of emotional attachment. But it also made a very valid point: you cannot make a joke funny if no one gives a crap about its target (unless the joke, as in Martin Van Buren, is that no one gives a crap about its target). Also, that joke was funny because the point it was making was clever, and often cleverness is simply funny just by virtue of being clever.
So, okay. My bottom line. Lose the bit about cats and chainsaws; that's absurd without being funny. Don't do a film noir thing; nobody cares about film noir anymore. Instead, take the bit about the fair-trade espresso and run with that. Fair-trade espresso is the funniest thing about the article. Hell, just write Fair-trade espresso; I think you're going to get a lot more laughs out of that than you are out of User:Dannehvirus/UnBook:Fluffy The Murderous Cat. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 19:48, January 11, 2010 (UTC)
Everyone has their own tastes and sense of humour - And remember, the book ain't finished yet. It CAN get funnier and if I can get it all exactly in tune, it will. Besides, I have more TOP SECRET plans that should be funnier for the future. Dannehvirus 21:58, January 11, 2010 (UTC)
It is certainly true that everyone has their own tastes and sense of humor. It is also true that I can glance at any article on the site and predict with about 90% accuracy how it would do on VFH and VFD. Your article, as it stands, would miserably fail VFH and barely survive VFD. I would seriously consider drastically revising, or entirely abandoning, the chainsaw-wielding housecat concept, if I were you. You don't have to take my advice, but I promise you that you're not going to get much mileage out of that book. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 22:18, January 11, 2010 (UTC)
I have had a look as well. On a positive note - at least it isn't another lame Grand Theft Auto story or Scooby Doo is HIV Positive yarn. It is certainly written as a zany piece but needs a bit more coherence (i.e. mixing Yard and Freeway - i guess you mean Scotland Yard but they don't have freeways in the UK).
Actually just piling in loads of funny can work against an article because often it is very easy to overload it with a lot of redundant ideas/half jokes that aren't really worked into the main piece. So my suggestion is put yourself up for adoption (adopt a noob), i.e. find an old time user to give you some advice. Also look at the Pee Review section as well. This isn't Encyclopedia Dramatica though perhaps may also be worth a look as they have an overall 'house' style which is more illogical than here. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 22:42, January 11, 2010 (UTC)
Heh heh. Heh. "Boop". Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 00:01, January 12, 2010 (UTC)
There were seven butts pooping on another butt! Hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaah! Dannehvirus 05:09, January 12, 2010 (UTC)
Crazy idea. What if it were written like a crime drama but from the perspective of a dog, who would be the detective. The cat would be basically nothing more than a normal cat but from the eyes of the dog it would be a murderous feline bent on world destruction. Ordinary things a cat does could be taken out of context by the dog........etc etc Sherman Fingertalk  20:36, January 12, 2010 (UTC)
Can we add Hype's humor essay to HTBFANJS? Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 21:00, Jan 12 2010
Yeah. Make sure to bold "BOOP!". Heh heh. Heh. "Boop". Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 21:31, January 12, 2010 (UTC)
Basically, what Hyperbole said. And I would add there is also the issue of "followablity", i.e. the difficulty in mentally processing text as opposed to audio or visual media. The written format lends itself more to satire than absurdity, as written absurdity takes more mental work to process than an Adult Swim sketch. Also, one can produce unprocessable jibberish with text, if abusrdity is unrestrained, more so than with flash cartoons and the like. --Mn-z 19:58, January 13, 2010 (UTC)


"BOOP". -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN20:16, 13 Jan

The guy pulled out a schnauzer? HAHAHAH, that's funny as hell! Maybe my next UnBook should be called UnBook:Butts Pooping And Farting On Butts, Schnauzers And BOOP. Or maybe just UnBook:BOOP for short! Dannehvirus 22:17, January 13, 2010 (UTC)

Symbol for vote For. UnBook:BOOP. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN23:10, 13 Jan
Symbol for vote BOOP BOOP BOOP Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 18:27, 19 January 2010

Sadly, I beat you to it. Ladies and gentlemen, I present: UnBooks:Boop! Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 18:59, January 19, 2010 (UTC)
LOL BOOP Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:05, 19 January 2010
And now it's gone. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:13, 19 January 2010
That... bastard! Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 19:21, January 19, 2010 (UTC)
Hang on. Are people being creative here? Now that's enough of all that. Move along people. This is Uncyclopedia... MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 19:26, Jan 19
*whistles* -- Kip > Talk Works Puzzle Potato Dry Brush CUN Icons-flag-us 19:28, Jan. 19, 2010
Considering that our search tool is totally buggered and user pages show up in searches from there it... MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 19:34, Jan 19
If there's one thing we non-admins have become clever at, it's going in through the back door. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 19:41, January 19, 2010 (UTC)