Forum:The Pledge

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The No-Drama Pledge

So I log on this morning, and I see that within 24 hours a flamewar has erupted of which I was completely unaware. Like everyone else, I'm sorry this has happened. I propose this pledge as one step toward restoring harmony.

Please leave your name at the bottom:

{place fingers on nipples}

I, <insert name here>, being of sound mind and judgment, do hereby vow:

WHEREAS, That Uncyclopedia is a website;
WHEREAS, That life is short, and there's no time for fussing or fighting (my friend);
WHEREAS, That humor, even professionally done, is always subjective and ultimately a matter of personal taste;
WHEREAS, That a wiki necessarily opens itself to user edits -- some welcome, some not;
NOW THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED, that I, the undersigned, hereby vow:
1. That I shall always see Uncyclopedia as a web site and not an organ of my being;
2. That I shall read everything with an open mind and a critical eye;
3. That I shall engage other users honestly and respectfully;
4. That I shall keep any and all criticisms within the boundary of the article;
5. That I shall not resort to ad hominem attacks;
6. That I shall work to keep my disagreements with others as short as possible;
7. That I shall not needlessly provoke other users;
8. That I shall accept debate as part of the wiki process and reject feuds as destructive to it.

--Procopius 19:43, 3 December 2006 (UTC)
--—Braydie 19:48, 3 December 2006 (UTC)
--SpacerSpacerPremierTomMayfairChe RedPhone Unsoc Hammer and sickle 19:49, 3 December 2006 (UTC)

--~ Tophatsig 19:57, 3 December 2006 (UTC)

---- §. | WotM | PLS | T | C | A 20:12, 3 December 2006 (UTC)
-- Paw_print.jpg 20:14, 3 December 2006 (UTC)
--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 20:39, 3 December 2006 (UTC)
--Uncyclon - Do we still link to BENSON? 21:46, 3 December 2006 (UTC)
--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 21:47, 3 December 2006 (UTC)
--Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 22:31, 3 December 2006 (UTC)

Uh, how did I get involved with all this?

--Ceridwyn 22:33, 3 December 2006 (UTC)
--Sir Zombiebaron 22:42, 3 December 2006 (UTC)
--Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 22:58, 3 December 2006 (UTC)
--User:Nintendorulez 23:07, 3 December 2006 (UTC)
-- Sir C Icons-flag-us Holla | CUN 23:26, 3 December 2006 (UTC)
--Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 01:45, 4 December 2006 (UTC) </br>

--Witt, Union leader of Union member UNion Entertain me* 02:25, 4 December 2006 (UTC)

User:Guest/sig 04:07, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
Spang talk 04:14, 4 Dec 2006
--General Insineratehymn 11:28, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
--OEJ 16:57, 4 December 2006 (UTC) (Fred!)
--herr doktor needsAscalpel Rocket [scream!] 17:13, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
--The Acceptable Thinking cap small Cainad Sacred Chao (Fnord) 17:54, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
--Sir Tripod2282 Icons-flag-us cun vfp talk Active ~20:09, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
--Chronarion 21:03, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
--Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 21:08, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
--Swordmaster 21:33, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
-- Sir NeoZidane • CUN • talk
Tinymooose.gif » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 22:01, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
--sannse@fandom (talk) 22:12, 4 December 2006 (UTC) I wasn't going to, on the basis that I try to do all this anyway... but Brad nagged me into it... bless
---Asteroid B612B612 (aka Rataube) - Ñ 22:32, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
--Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy - (Ring for service) 16:27, 5 December 2006 (UTC) (First it was no more Vodka, then no more Helium and now this... I have nothing left to give up.)

A hearty thanks

Sign, if you haven't, but I think this is a step in the right direction. And thanks to all for taking the pledge. We CAN be happy and go-lucky.

--Procopius 04:12, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
I just threw up in my mouth a little. Thanks a lot, Procopius.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 04:21, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
yeah and I can't get the dang song out of my head either =/ --Ceridwyn 05:19, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
So far, I've only been seeing this Youtube embedding thingie being used for evil.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 20:42, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
Radical problems demand radical solutions.--Procopius 02:44, 5 December 2006 (UTC)


I will swear, but no pledge: ^@#-&%! or, in Dutch, @^#*%&! Your minds are all twisted deformed thingies. A person is an individual and should face fate as such. The idea that you can gain anything from banding together is a sad mistake. The others will use you, then cast you aside as soon as they perceive your liabilities to outweigh your assetts. There is no God, there is no life after death, there is no true love, there is no justice, there certainly is no such thing as a free lunch, and there is only the semblance of friendship (betrayed over and over again, throughout history, yet we all fall into that trap time and time again...). So I take your pledge and forcefully insert it into that special place where the rain does not reach. -- Dutch Bastard, extraordinaire: di Mario 20:46, 4 December 2006 (UTC)

Shush! This is a drama-free zone.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 20:50, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
You need a hug. --Chronarion 21:19, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
Waaaaa. Cheer up. If we band together WE CAN MAKE IT THROUGH!! EVERYBODY SING NOW!!!! KUUM BAAY YAAAH... -- Paw_print.jpg 21:34, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
I need a new brain prothesis. This one is starting to malfunction, and reboots help only for a limited period of time. -- di Mario 21:42, 4 December 2006 (UTC)


This is kinda neat. I'd like to make it official. Anyone think so? --Chronarion 21:03, 4 December 2006 (UTC)

Score: +10 votes officially cast
  • For, ^_^ SpacerSpacerPremierTomMayfairChe RedPhone Unsoc Hammer and sickle 21:04, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
  • Yes Anyone contradicting their solemn pledge shall have to fear fiery, fiery retribution. --Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 21:09, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
  • For --—Braydie 21:11, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
  • For. All power to Chron.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 21:15, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
  • For --General Insineratehymn 21:19, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
  • For. Peace out, man. -- Paw_print.jpg 22:05, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
  • Oficialize.---Asteroid B612B612 (aka Rataube) - Ñ 22:38, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
  • Defy-in-ately--Witt, Union leader of Union member UNion Entertain me* 23:05, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
  • For... providing we lose the Carpenters --Ceridwyn 23:21, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
  • Self-vote For my own work. It's the only explanation I can find.--Procopius 02:44, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
  • Make it official boys, and then the shootin' can start. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy - (Ring for service) 16:33, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

Replace our actual ruleset?

I just spent 20 minutes looking for actual policy rules and stuff, and it seems to me that we were in a drunken haze at the time thinking about it. Perhaps we ought to write... a constitution of sorts, or at least adopt an official policy somewhere that isn't completely confusing, contradictory, both, or Salmon, and stick it in a place that's pretty visible. --Chronarion 21:18, 4 December 2006 (UTC)

Don't look at me. I suck at writing. ^_^ SpacerSpacerPremierTomMayfairChe RedPhone Unsoc Hammer and sickle 21:19, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
Yeah, I guess the sole rule "Don't be a dick" doesn't work once you've got enough people that there are wildly different perceptions as to what exactly constitutes being a dick. Which is a shame, cos I always thought it was rather a good policy. --Sir Jam 21:27, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
In the original usage, "dick" is a euphemism for "fuckhead" which is very well defined, here. --KATIE!! 21:54, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
Hah, that's quite good actually... although using one swearword as a euphemism for another is slightly odd... It is unfortunate though that one of the defining factors of being, ahem, a fuckhead is that you're going to complain about it if anyone tries to punish you for it. Ah well, that's what permabanning's for. --Sir Jam 22:00, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
Perhaps a slightly more complicated "simple rule" : Don't be what you image yourself others would perceive as being a dick (or cunt piece of fox , not being sexist over here)? -- di Mario 21:46, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
Hmm, I think the rule is okay on being a just needs to be simplified and explained on what exactly constitutes being a dick is.--Witt, Union leader of Union member UNion Entertain me* 23:11, 4 December 2006 (UTC)

UN:R, HTBFANJS, and BGBU mostly cover our essential policies, and quite well at that. But the other pages are sort of.... out there... perhaps some (more) cleaning up is in order. "No drama" should be in the TOS, and Uncyclopedia:Flamewar Guidelines refined or thrown out. --KATIE!! 21:49, 4 December 2006 (UTC)

I understand this, but I think it might be time to merge stuff into one page that a reasonable person might entirely read to get the gist of things rapidly. --Chronarion 16:39, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
The flamewar guidelines are sadly outdated and really need to go, IMHO.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 21:58, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
I can hardly understand what the guidelines are even about, which is bad, and gives me the impressions that a flamewar is perfectly okay.--Witt, Union leader of Union member UNion Entertain me* 23:08, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
Keep the pages Keitei mentioned, except move the Flamewar Guidelines to the main namespace and remove references to it actually being policy. Just make it a sort-of amusing article because as policy it accomplishes nothing. —rc (t) 02:35, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

Blissfully Unaware

I have no idea what's been going on... something about Spang? So Hinoa left? And now Codeine left because of Nintendorulez? Anywho, I'm just eating my cake. -- Tinymooose.gif » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 22:00, 4 December 2006 (UTC)

You realize, of course, that if this was an Agatha Christie novel, you'd be the murderer. I'm just sayin'.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 22:32, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
And I'd be the slightly annoying comedy relief guy, who is the first to die.--Witt, Union leader of Union member UNion Entertain me* 23:05, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
Actually, STM's reaction is the one I had yesterday when I saw Cainad's note of departure and wondered what the hell was going on. And then I backtracked and understood why. The whole event seems to be like a tornado -- large areas destroyed, others untouched.--Procopius 02:44, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
...and toothless people with big hair thanking God that He hit a neighbour's house while sparing their mobile home.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 03:03, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
I had a note of departure? I must have missed the memo. --The Acceptable Thinking cap small Cainad Sacred Chao (Fnord) 09:54, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
He meant Codeine, methinks.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 10:28, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
Right. Sorry, Cainad.--Procopius 13:44, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
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