Forum:Spirited Away Rewrite - Need Comments

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I'm rewriting the Spirited Away, Just got finished with the plot, Here it is in all it's glory.

The story begins with both her mother and father and her daughter reuniting after a shaky relationship, His father has been in the field for way to long (He works as a farmer) and her mother keeps working for him, It was decided that they'd reunite and to move to what screams and what's assumed as sunny Los Angeles County, The movie begins there with Chihiro being taken of a tour of her new town and her first destination is the school, Chihiro lies there like she's infected with a disease of the three (Pregnancy, Anthrax or Super AIDS), when the flowers of circumnavigation start to fall apart due to forced pressure, She suddenly wakes up to realize that those things may be dying, Mother suggests putting it in some "water", When they reach their neighborhood they reach a fork in the road, Instead of asking for directions or reading any of the signs, The father decided to go left (Neighborhood is on the right), and after 10 minutes of driving his blood pressure, sugar and adrenaline start to go down, He realize that he needs to get it up or he dies so his car starts to speed up and reaches a speed of 95 mph, Chihiro's car passes some houses and some inanimate statues that have soul, Suddenly a object gets in the way of the car and has to stop suddenly, Luckily the object only stratches the grill of the car, Once time passes for rendering the upcoming wall, A hole appears in the wall and to the parents seems like an entrance to the neighborhood, (NOT!), In just approximately 30 seconds human sense is lost and they go in making their daughter follow in with them, On the other side, they reach what's assumed to be an abondoned amusement park under the neighborhood but really it's another universe with actual sky and everything (These guys never seen an indoor amusement park with blue sky.) meanwhile when exploring they smell food this is where the main part of their "adventure" begins.


They taste the food and then loose all decency of any kind, Not fearing futilaty, they eat everything in sight. This is where she's disregarded and it let loose to browse the "amusement park" where she discovers a building that looks similar to a bathhouse but is assumed to be a bathhouse but is really a fully functioning CTU unit/bathhouse, She then meets a boy who is the same age as her and tells her that "your too late" then reveals a knife, fearing death, basic human instincts set in as she runs for her life but when mysterious people who are transparent start appearing, she realize she has to get her parents and get out of there, But unbeknownst to her, Her parents has already been transformed into pigs, (you can really see the resembelance) realizing all hope is lost, she begins to panic like crazy, Returning to the point of origin but it has been filled in water, nearby a boat begins to appear and she tries to wake up by putting water on her face, She realizes she's becoming invisible, then another boy who's 6 years older than she is, (do the math people) gives her food and tells him to come with him. Meanwhile on the boat, everything is going fine and then we turn to a guy with a MP3 player, within a few seconds, the boat explodes taking an estimated 253 people (estimated toll) with him and widespread panic starts to begin.


Chihiro and the boy reach an area populated a people, must be a bridge, anyways, The boy makes Chihiro invisible for the time being so that they can cross safely but when an amorphous talking frog approaches them, He has no choice but to take her on a tour of Uncyclopedia (Yeah, it's not worth it and the free euroipod you get at the end of the trip isn't worthwhile.), when their tour ends he tells the girl to go downstairs and find a door to a right, It is revealed a little bit later that it's a trap due to his grin, Chihiro finds the stairs and after a few delicate tries begins running down the stairs unexpectedly and luckily the building grows 20ft of wall unexpectedly (coincidence, nah.) she finds the door to the right and goes through it, This is where he meets the boilerman where he does his best to turn down Chihiro but she's percent, this is where he introduces his workers which weren't there, this therefore ruined the scene where she drops the coal into the fire and this is where footage from 24 season 6 comes in and where the first gunfight comes in.


She shoots at him he runs out of bullets but he shoots at him but he runs out of bullets. an epic fistfight comes in where both of them come down then Chihiro grabs a wrench and hits him with he, he dodges it and survives then he beats her and both of them come down, He beats her unmercifully then she gets up with the use of the chain, This is where she proceeds to block every attack made with the pipe then begins to wrap his neck around the pipe, she then kills her by lifting the chain and choking her in the progress, she collapses.


A woman unknown to her comes in and sees that the boilerman is taking a nap, the boilerman tells her in his sleep that he wants to work, she disagrees then agrees once more and she takes her to take the main woman (director) who runs this place, after some expert stealth and bribery, she finally reaches her destination, inside a dark place suddenly all her fear return in a cowardly way and results to her being told she's to scared and the door opening for her, once inside an odd power forces her into her office where she begs for her job after 2 minutes of begging, the woman smokes in protest of the MPAA after 3 more minutes of arguing, She wakes up her 12 month old 33 lb baby and during the waking she gets the job but with a price, She signs her name away to which she is given a new name, Zune (not sen, Zune, it's more humiliating than ever since it's a minor meek failure) and a CTU agent that looks a lot like Mike Doyle tells her name, she tells him her name is Zune and it's fine, it's fine, Meanwhile she is being taken to an apartment of sorts where she lives with 6 unique woman, It take her a while to find a uniform that fits but she finds one and during that time Chihiro, Opps I mean Zune gets sick while waiting, she tells her to lay down, she does and an entire day passes by.


Chihiro is taken down the pen where she sees the situation being assesed, over in a table, Seems like Conan O' Brian and Jamie O' Brian are working it out and we see Namsserp Olim flirting with Conan, Conan disses Namsserp and Namsserp is needlessly looking for another woman to flirt with, Zune starts to work by cleaning the floors, handing out assessment reports and getting the crew 5 decafs, 3 green teas and 2 espressos, another txt message says that another green tea is needed, Meanwhile an offer has been made that requires the life of Jack Bauer in order to reveal the mastermind behind the attacks, a plane approaches and 12 soldiers run up to the plane and the door opens to reveal Jack Bauer with a beard, broken and in cuffs, 2 minutes after Bauer is off the plane, his head is shot off by a sniper, the Chinese note that since Bauer is dead, we need another person to come to China or we'll blow up your "CTU", Luckily one of the 24 writers was on the lot (the bald one), and they were given to the Chinese, this will have unfortunate certenstances when Jack Bauer gets interrogated for falsely handing over one of our "agents", the director lady has only 6 hours to think of someone to give for info.


Meanwhile Zune meets the boy again in the outside, It's decided that she had such a great time that he wanted to have that time again, our time together begins with him showing her parents in pig form, His father is laying out the assessment for what's going to happen and her mother is just a great pig in a unknown form we don't know yet, once done with that we see them outside in a hedge where he shows her an unknown nametag she didn't know she had, (it came with the flowers even though there was no nametag on there), she remembers her name is Chihiro and begins to eat food and cry while eating the food, after an afternoon and an assumed home base, he leaves and the girl has her name back, she still has her job, and after a few minutes of peace, she is called into the directors office to say that she's being sacrificed for information, Chihiro refuses (finally I can stop using the name Zune) but the director lady says that she'll be dying for somthing, she accepts and gets put in a SUV to the meeting location where she is exchanged without any refusal.


Once inside Chihiro is strapped into a chair, and a heart montior is strapped to her, and at the last moment, he tells him that they are sacrificing the wrong person and that she'll die for nothing, in case you were wondering the name of the guy is Abu Fayed and the guy who is going to be killed is Hamri Al-Assad and at the ready, they begin to interrogate her and after many unsuccessful attempts, they wait and while at the time she straps off her heart monitor and fakes her death, he goes but is killed by a vampire bite, a few seconds later she is gone but is revealed to be hiding under the grates, after wiping the blood from her face, she escapes and gets a car, then she drives to CTU, after successfully getting there, she tells them that Hamri Al-Assad is trying to help and Abu Fayed is the mastermind, after trying to convince the president which fails, she has to drive to Hamri Al-Assad's house to save him which is successful as he has killed the agent who revealed his location, They get out just in time as the choppers destroy the house and after getting him back to CTU they realize that she was right, Hamri Al-Assad gets sent to Washington after a few minutes of being saved.


This happens 1 day later, The bombs are still out there and she is doing all the work she can on a rainy day when a mysterious creature appears all transparent and he has a mask, she feels compelled for him and gives him his keycard with sets CTU up for the final blow but she doesn't know that, in the pen she is tasked with cleaning the tub for dirty people even though this is CTU, it has one but on the bright side the lady from which she help infiltrated CTU is helping her, she ask Chihiro to get a bathtoken from the automated vending machine, she has a pleasant conversation both by voice, VoIP, video, and during a lucky break, she gets the bathtoken and thanks the vending machine, then runs, The vending machine wishes he was H&K 45 Compact Gun, Jack Bauer would love him.


Chihiro return with the bathtoken and proceeds to make the bathwater come out and in an entire blast cleans the tub to bits, Meanwhile the mysterious monster is almost done reprogramming the keycard and during the few seconds, he changes the identity and he's now given full access, it it also during this time that his name is revealed to be No-Face, after the reprogramming of the Keycard is complete No-Face drives over to CTU where he gets in easily after validating his identity, he takes his briefcase and takes it to the ventilation room where he logs in and shuts down the ventilation system so that he can place the Sentox nerve gas canister in the fans and has set the detonator, meanwhile some random girl notices that the ventilation system is down and goes to check it out, he enters but then gets killed by No-Face, meanwhile they've found the location of another nuke, They send a assault team after the nuke, their status is now unknown, meanwhile No-Face makes his way out of the building (this was 14 minutes after it was set) Chihiro noticed the timer and ordered a "Code 6" evacuation, this was 1 minute after the gas was set off and very few people got out alive, Conan O' Brian was luckily able to find sealable areas so they went to each area and sealed it off from the Sentox, during that time, many people were struggling to get out, but one in particular was important to Chihiro, Her father in pig form saw Conan and struggled to go to her but was killed by the Sentox, Chihiro looks in silence.


After a few minutes, CTU is in disrepear, 80% of their staff is killed and Code 6 is still on, Chihiro goes into a nervous breakdown following the death of her father, Luckily a licensed physiatrist, (don't tell me how he got here.) was able to help Chihiro through her time of need, Meanwhile Conan was trying to find a way to get the remaining locations of nukes and in the director's office, the director lady was looking for the locations of the nukes, Conan says he's working on it, Chihiro is still on a breakdown and is not ready yet, an argument sparks to the physcaitrist and Conan leading to Chihiro to get back to work, after a few minutes corrosion begins to eat away at the seals, Conan is unable to get the ventilation system to work as the program is restricting access, the crew asks Chihiro to restore access to the ventilation system as she is the only one closest, she cuts off a seal of it and climbs up to a vented room and makes a temporary airlock, She then proceeds to the ventilation room and exits out of the program allowing Conan to do his thing, after 15 minutes, She proceeds to see the boilerman and tells him that he wants to leave, He agrees and gives him 4 tickets to go, He then goes to the station with the help of the girl and goes to Swallow's Cove where he meets the directors lady twin which is overall nicer but looks nothing like her, in fact she looks like Jack Bauer which must be assumed that he is, He tells him about their history, how they're similar and how he's the nice one and my sister isn't, he then tells Chihiro to remember something about the boy he met, After 3 days, she remember being saved by this boy, that or an afterthought, anyway the boy who is in love goes to the director lady and asks him to be set free (the reason would be that he just found out he can't procreate, religion), and she agrees on one condition that if she can find her true parents, she can leave, she can't, she's stuck here forever, oh and she owes me an euroipod, the boy agrees and they agree to meet on the Official Phillip Bauer Oil Platform where coincidencally the last nuke is located.


Chihiro is reminded to be at the oil platform and is transported there by Jack Bauer or what we assume, he also gives her a gun for luck, Once there, the offer takes place directly on the platform where he is shown approximately 24 pigs, luckly she assumes that none of them are her parents, the director lady's contract blew up and a black helicopter comes to pick her up, seconds later Raptors come and blow up the oil rig, destroying the director lady and the third nuke in a spectacular fashion, The boy leads to where she began and asks to go to the other side where her parent has woken up, and Chihiro asks what's why the boy won't come, he replies "CTU needs a new director, also religion", Chihiro goes to the other side and discovers her mother who has completely forgotten about her father as he does not exist, She goes out and then looks back for a second, then she gets in the car, the mother asks if she is scared, and she says no because she has a gun.


She thought she was home, she thought she was back then Day 6 began...

What do you think of it --NXWave 09:41, 8 June 2007 (UTC)

Spell checked it. --NXWave 20:15, 8 June 2007 (UTC)

I think you should create it as an article in your namespace so you can format it, add pictures, and make its face all pretty like a good article. The put it through a spellchecker. 'Shakey' is not correct, and neither is 'woring' or 'dieing'. I don't know what 'subgivation' means. It's not a word, at least not in English. That said, it may turn out to be a wonderful article once it's formatted and rewritten a bit and has some appropriate pictures to go with it. ----OEJ 12:31, 8 June 2007 (UTC)

Doh, That word is circumnavigation, and that means to findeth your way to the Jewish butcher --Vosnul 13:49, 8 June 2007 (UTC)
Try to find a place for "...committing suicide in a sumo thong." from the current page. The rest of the line isn't great, but that's the best phrase I've heard all day. Also, I just got up. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 14:00, 8 June 2007 (UTC)
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