Forum:Not alone on the holidays
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Don't worry, I'm not completely alone. From here, I can see my dogs ashes on the coffee table. He's always in the room. And I hung up a card my parents sent me a couple days ago, a beautiful letter typed on gorgeous letter head, disowning me or something. It sits ontop of my piano. I always have CNN on in the background so there's no need for christmas banter which I would otherwise do in my head. But you know, I really feel around Christmas time, that all of you are here with me. I can imagine Aleister giving me a bong, wrapped in newspaper with only one piece of tape keeping the present wrapped. And then there is SPIKE, who is reorganizing my whole house to put it in the exact order he says it should be in, which isn't a lot of work, since I only own five things. And then there is Mattsnow, who is cooking me some leathal stew in the kitchen. It really makes me smile, even though you aren't really here...you kind of are...cause my mind is good at convincing myself of what I want to happen, actually happening. Sigh. Then there are the admins, all of them, they break into my appartment and drink my beer and then take off before I can finish telling them the story of how I came to be paralysed. Those darn admins, they're good people, so I don't tell them that the beer was really liquid botulism. I didn't invite pop goes the weasel or epic or qzerom because they are cool guys and I don't think theyll come over, even if its just a party in my head. And then there are the Australians like Frosty and that other guy I cant remember, they come in and get into a party and tell stories and do funny things, none of which I can understand, but they smile a lot and I like smiles at Christmas time so I let the Australians stay a while, even though there really isn't anyone in my house. And then the Ghosts of Socky and Chief and Skully and Lollipop whisp through my livingroom, we sing a Justin Beiber song and then they hold cleanex to my eyes as I cry tears of excruciating joy. What a wonderful lot you all are. And then the nOObs gather round and sit on the floor as I tell them stories about when the website was world famouse and rockstars would read all our articles and we would do interviews on David Letterman. They are really amazed by this, and I am amazed that they believe me, even if just a little. And then I wonder why magicman and kip and mattlobster and romartus and xamralco and nonamesleft and sycamore and lyrithya and other people who don't count, haven't visited me yet, and I realise that they don't have my address so they can't find my house and that's why they aren't actually here in my mind. So I understand. Bizzibeaver and cat and tkf and zombiebaron and EMC said they will come around for new years, as they are pretty busy with some project that is important which I don't need to know about. That's cool, they are pretty raunchy guys and when my Christmass pizza arrives, I really want to eat it in peace and not with marinated-dungeons-and-dragons-and-diablo-marathon-lan-party-stench hovering around. And then there are all those guys I forgot to mention, not because you aren't important, but because you are so important, I forgot your names. You are all here too. And that means a lot to me. Because there's nothing I'd rather do than eat my Christmas pizza, here, writing my 502nd forum, with your spirit keeping me company. I love you all so deeply and intensely. Later, we will play poker, Ill set up the cards and Ill play myself and all of you. I have a feeling SPIKE is going to win. I hope that I am also a part of your traumatic-christmas-mental-breakdown-pretend-christmas-dinner too. It would mean the world to me.
All my deepest love