Forum:My friend

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Forums: Index > BHOP > My friend
Note: This topic has been unedited for 2472 days. It is considered archived - the discussion is over. Do not add to unless it really needs a response.

was jesus my friend? well, let me tell you a story that will hopfully clarify the situation. It was a Saturday morning, not the time that anyone wants to be up, especially not volunteering at a soup kitchen in a poor part of a generally poor city. That's where I found my self a couple Saturdays ago. My job was to pour cups of juice for the people there. The job was harder than it sounded, we continually ran out of cup and had to send people out looking for them. Once we finally had the right amount of cups, the other volunteers left me to refill glasses and they went to socialize. I sighed and sat down, thinking of all the places that I could be right now other than here in this dirty soup kitchen. I could be at a mall, shopping with my friends. I could be on the computer in my bedroom writing a story. Just then my thoughts were interrupted by a voice. "May I please have a spot of juice?" The request took me by surprise. Most people at the soup kitchen would just come up to me and stuck out their cup for a refill. A few made some grunts and even fewer said please. So this polished ask for "a spot of juice" gave me a little jolt. I smiled at the man who had asked me. I could tell in a glance that was very poor. A wearing hat covered his deep, dark hair, and a jacket that looked very patchy was all he had to keep him warm. Not the best thing to be wearing on a chilly October morning. "I guess you didn't expect me to say that," he said returning my grin. I glanced up at him again as I poured him a fresh glass of juice. His eyes were dark and looked like a melted chocolate bar. His copper face was withered and wrinkled, he looked he had experience in life and had seen a lot of things. I smiled again and giggled a bit, "Yeah, I didn't expect that, but I like it. It's very proper... very British!" He nodded and I passed him his cup of fruit punch. He gave me a grateful look and said "Thanks." I looked at him for one more moment and said, "No, thank you. You really made my day." Hope that clarifys it 195.194.74.154 15:20, 4 March 2008 (UTC)

Ryhypnol! Wait, what? --(sir)Fag!chat|pee|fail|vote!Icons-flag-gb 15:32, 4 March 2008 (UTC)
THE DOCTOR IS HIS MOM!! I am so good at these riddle things... - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 21:05, Mar 4
“You are the eschatological manifestation of the ground of our being, the kerygma of which we find the ultimate meaning in our interpersonal relationships.” ~ A Unitarian Universalist on Jesus Verp 22:17, 4 March 2008 (UTC)
IT WAS YOU! --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent Icons-flag-au Noobaward Wotm Unbooks mousepad GUN 10:37, 6 March 2008 (UTC)

Wait, what? —Hinoa talk.kun 00:23, 5 March 2008 (UTC)

I fail to see how Jesus comes into this. Or why you put all of this into an Uncyclopedia forum. --Lord Fluffy who rains fire from the heavens 02:06, 5 March 2008 (UTC)

The man who asked for a spot of juice was Jesus. I know that because I play golf with Jesus and he comes over to my house every once in a while to play board games. Jesus likes to listen to his iPod while walking down the street giving people such a look that they know they have been judged a sinner and the man with the iPod is Jesus. Its sort of like a Police officer with a radar gun forcing people to slow down when their radar detector goes off. When people see Jesus give them a judgemental look then tend to stop sinning for a while and start to be nice to people, hoping to get into Jesus' good graces again. From time to time Jesus helps build houses for the poor in Habitat for Humanity as well. Nice guy Jesus is, really good sense of humor as well. From time to time Jesus visits homeless shelters and asks for a spot of juice or a bowel of soup or whatever in a British accent. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 03:18, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
Oh, you know Jesus! Yeah, he was my roommate back in college. Crazy times, me and the Jee-Man had. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 03:27, Mar 12

tl;dr

Sig_pic.PNG Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 02:39, 5 March 2008 (UTC)

Atomsk.gif Kaizer the Bjorn takkun Takkun (nya nya) (1961 model!) Check out T61! 03:18, 5 March 2008 (UTC)

I have a gut feeling this wasn't supposed to make sense in the first place. -- The fatgoat Talk (to me, obviously) The Crap I've Done 06:02, 5 March 2008 (UTC)

Umm...hahaha? Wait, am I supposed to laugh? ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF @ 17:15 Mar 5

At my remark, or me in general? -- The fatgoat Talk (to me, obviously) The Crap I've Done 05:29, 6 March 2008 (UTC)
SysRq wasn't talking to you. It would've been indentificated, then. Like this. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 05:40, 6 March 2008 (UTC)
So that means that you're talking to me and I'm now talking to you? -- The fatgoat Talk (to me, obviously) The Crap I've Done 05:49, 6 March 2008 (UTC)
I'm talking to an earlier, less advanced me now. For one thing, the primitive me isn't wearing my futuristic silver jumpsuit. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 05:52, 6 March 2008 (UTC)
Neither. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 05:52, 6 March 2008 (UTC)
Now I'm absolutely confused. -- The fatgoat Talk (to me, obviously) The Crap I've Done 06:57, 6 March 2008 (UTC)
Ah...good. Now you're ready for Scientology. Hold on to these two cans. I'll ask you some questions, you answer them, then I'll determine how much money it'll take to fix you. Thetans, you know. Nasty buggers. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 08:20, 6 March 2008 (UTC)

Look at me, talking to myself from yesterday! I love indentations. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF @ 16:30 Mar 6

Actually, you appear to be talking to my header, which is incapable of replying. Sig_pic.PNG Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 01:21, 7 March 2008 (UTC)

What'chu know about dat? --User:tl;dr 02:57, 7 March 2008 (UTC)

No, wait, I know this one.

  1. The homeless man has two kids, a son and a daughter.
  2. The son was recently kidnapped and sold into a prostitution ring.
  3. The head of the prostitution ring spends his free time playing chess online with a crack dealer in Hollywood.
  4. The crack dealer has an identical twin, and they frequently switch places so as to confuse people on their trail.
  5. The twin is the butler of KEVIN BACON!

Wooh! Figured it out! Now gimme some money. Ж Kalir nobody knows my gender 15:57, 12 March 2008 (UTC)

Personal tools
projects