Forum:Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum

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Note: This topic has been unedited for 1933 days. It is considered archived - the discussion is over. Do not add to unless it really needs a response.

It has come to my attention that although Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum are the leading GOP candidates in the 2012 US Presidental Election, the Mitt Romney article sucks and is irrelevant (as also mentioned by Aleister on the talk page), and Rick Santorum only redirects to an undictionary entry. I thus propose that we set up writing teams to rewrite the Mitt article and write the Santorum article, unless, of course, Nobody cares. --Pwn head Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 15:04, March 31, 2012 (UTC)

I'd like to help with any of those, but I have a rewrite to finish and some IRL stuff, so for the next couple of days I may not do much, but after that I'm gonna help. Great funniness potential in either of those. Snowflake mini Mattsnow 15:37, March 31, 2012 (UTC) BTW, "Mitt Ronmeny" ?!? Was that intentional? lol Snowflake mini Mattsnow 15:39, March 31, 2012 (UTC)
Hmm... --Pwn head Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 15:41, March 31, 2012 (UTC)
Ha ha ha ha! I've left no redirect behind! Now no one will see my embarrassing typo! --Pwn head Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 15:43, March 31, 2012 (UTC)
Nobody noticed anything.... Snowflake mini Mattsnow 15:46, March 31, 2012 (UTC)
Hey, how about making it a little competition? Say we have until the 10th to come up with the rewrite, and then VFH will be the judge... How about that? Not like it will have an award or anything, but just to spice things up a bit. Snowflake mini Mattsnow 15:52, March 31, 2012 (UTC)
Great idea! --Pwn head Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 16:10, March 31, 2012 (UTC)

The great 2012 Republican rewriting contest


  • No more than 3 rewriters per team. Deadline is April 10th 23:59 UTC, then the articles will be automagically submitted to VFH to crown a winner. VFH will be the judge. The article that will be featured first according to the VFH votes wins the first place, and so on. Should we all suck so much as to not having any articles written here featured, the last one to die on VFH will be the winner.
  • Internet stalking not allowed between contestants.
  • Baseball bat blows to the skull are allowed.
  • No whoring of a team's article of any kind will be tolerated since it would be unfair. If you tell your mom, we'll know.

Santorum team (Full)

Romney team (Full)

Ron Paul team

  • I've jumped to team Paul, or was talked into it by a workaholic. He is very boring too, and his aged boredom, like fine wine in an unfine bottle, will do Paul and his stupid son proud. Yay Team Paul! Aleister 21:18 April Foolishness
  • MrN9000. Aleister can't win this election.
    • Well, our team waited patiently for a third member, and then decided to use that as an excuse for not wanting to compete, shoved the whole thing overboard, and will use the start-up money to throw a party. Nobody here is invited, but we will post pics. Aleister 12:15 6-4-'12

Gingrich team

  • South Carolina supports this guy, so he's the only candidate we need. ~jcm 20:19, April 1, 2012 (UTC)
  • Oh hey, I actually did something. ~jcm 06:05, April 5, 2012 (UTC)
  • I don't need you... I don't need any of you! ~jcm 06:05, April 5, 2012 (UTC)

The guy who should've won team

  • Arguably this could just be redirected to Ron Paul, though an article about a mysterious man unknown to the general public that would actually make sensible decisions as a president sounds like a nice concept. We could use a picture like this to show what he'd look like and the last section would be
==Why he didn't win==
Because he's not an American.
Wouldn't it be awesome if we could feature an article like that at the end of the election? Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 02:39, 4 April 2012
It's the un wot won it

I hate editing in MS Paint.                               Puppy's talk page05:35 04 Apr

A quick idea

Willard 'Mittens' Romney, also known as 'Mittens the Kitten', is the title character from the 'Mittens the Kitten' series of children's pop-up books.

...that's all I got. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSun, Apr 1 '12 5:48 (UTC)

Contributions as good as that keep Uncyclopedia at the empyrean heights of satire in the eyes of ourselves and our readers.--Sycamore (Talk) 10:25, April 1, 2012 (UTC)

Where's the Ron Paul love?

You know it was only a matter of time before someone on the internet asked this. It's Mrthejazz... a case not yet solved. 17:28, April 1, 2012 (UTC)

I've added a Ron Paul team. --Pwn head Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 17:30, April 1, 2012 (UTC)
And Gingrich. --Pwn head Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 17:31, April 1, 2012 (UTC)
I won't take the Ron Paul one since I am his senior advisor. Snowflake mini Mattsnow 19:53, April 1, 2012 (UTC)
And I am his bed there would also be a conflict of interest. --ShabiDOO 19:54, April 1, 2012 (UTC)

Romney talk

*Nobody cares. As a Romney team member I vote to just leave it like it was before March 31 (see its talk page for my original comments). The sheer weight of how little Nobody cares will carry it over at VFH without any changes, and that feature would be pure real-world satire. Aleister 22:37 31-3-'12

So we are a team of four :) --ShabiDOO 19:41, April 1, 2012 (UTC)
Ah... I actually said I can't do it.                               Puppy's talk page12:45 02 Apr

Ok, now this is just getting silly

Oooh, what about that one black republican nominee that was all like "Get back to work you Op wall street ninnies!" I bet he's notable. You should totally add him. It's Mrthejazz... a case not yet solved. 22:04, April 1, 2012 (UTC)

We wrote about him already: Herman Cain Snowflake mini Mattsnow 00:10, April 2, 2012 (UTC)
And Ubeki Beki Beki Beki Stan Stan                               Puppy's talk page01:03 02 Apr
No, I was talking about the black butler in Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. It's Mrthejazz... a case not yet solved. 23:47, April 2, 2012 (UTC)
BENSON?                               Puppy's talk page06:39 03 Apr

To hell with Ubeki Beki Beki Beki Stan Stan

Someone needs an article about Indonesia! Make some running joke about New Order! GiratinaOriginForme |Si Plebius Dato' (Sir) Joe ang Pinoy CUN|IC Kill 800px-Flag of the Philippines svg | 04:31, April 11, 2012 (UTC)

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