Forum:Just an update

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Note: This topic has been unedited for 1950 days. It is considered archived - the discussion is over. Do not add to unless it really needs a response.

Hello Uncyclopedia. Long time no see. Like what you've done with your hair. Just wanted to let you all know that I'm writing for a UK-based satire website called The Haddock now. Essentially UnNews-style material, just not here. So in case you miss THINKER, or get fed up with Uncyclopedia (like some people), that is where you can read my most recent material. This may seem a lot like spam to you. It is, in fact, not. So there you have it.


My latest piece:

Enjoy. --THINKER 18:01, April 19, 2012 (UTC)

Hey ya, Thinker. SpacerSpacerPremierTomMayfairChe RedPhone Unsoc Hammer and sickle 18:02, April 19, 2012 (UTC)

Thinker, the site is only half a page horizontal, ads and room for more ads fill up the entire other half. What are you doing? Come back here (stomps foot), come back here this instant. People, this is the man who wrote what I consider one of if not the best page on the site (except for lots of others, but maybe not). You are one of the giants here, and you're playing with dead fishheads? Put down your pen there and come back here, where the love flows like wine. Aleister 00:47 2o-4-'12

And here's an even better reason to do a Lassie come home moment. Since you haven't been as active here, the site has gradually grown and gotten better and has cleared out lots of the deadwood and every day it adds more value to its brand. imnho uncy is now the best comedy website on the innernests, and the best laid-out too. It just looks good, and has thousands of really good articles. All that is needed is for some major media outlet to finally take notice of it, disregard the crap and the juvenile things here, and report honestly on the quality nestled within. You had lots to do with that. Where have you been, Joe DiThinker, uncy turns its lonely eyes to you. Aleister 1:56 20-4-'12
Aleister's right. Things have improved since you disappeared. Uncyclopedians have been able to walk around, heads held high, unashamed of who they are and what they do. The sun is brighter, food tastes fresher, men are stronger and more virile, and women are, if anything, more heart-stopping than they were before. And the chidren, my God, the children can laugh again. I guess what I'm saying is that you're a curse. A terrible curse. I'd call your boss and warn him, but that would risk him firing you and you coming back. I, and all Uncyclopedians, cannot risk that. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 03:15, April 20, 2012 (UTC)
Remember when thinker used to be here? This place was like a new suburb, filled with a few houses here, dirty vacant lots there, a couple shops and some empty roads and no soul. Since thinker has sold out to the so called "big leagues" this place has become a real community with a beating heart, a real body of its own with matching eyes, matching breasts and matching penis/vaginas. I think uncyclopedia is in a place where we don't even feel like a suburb, but instead like a city of its own. No...not a city, but a capital city, even a mega city, a global city, an intergalactic cosmic city of awsomeness. (p.s. how do you get to be a contributor at haddock...not that i would ever consider editing there...but if you tell would be good to have that information for no particular reason). --ShabiDOO 19:35, April 20, 2012 (UTC)

Some responses:

  • The Haddock site will be getting a redesign soon. I'll talk to the editor about handling ad space.
  • I'm very glad that Uncyc is improving. I took a look at some of the recent content and concur in that. I would love to write some pieces over here again, but the fact remains that there are some over-arcing elements of the site and style that make it hard to achieve what I'm hoping to achieve career-wise. I want to deliver this kind of content to you all the time. And yeah, that would mean getting paid for it. Trust me, I didn't just leave Uncyc and put all my time into something useless like Extreme Uni-Climbing (the rock-climbing while unicycling craze currently sweeping the nation). I've been really hard at work a number of projects that will hopefully deliver quality entertainment to you guys while simultaneously getting me the money that I need to be able to do it full-time. The Haddock has an expanding readership, and there are a lot of behind-the-scenes elements that make it more promising and deserving of my focus (and I mean, I did write here for over 3 years -- go to my user page and read what you missed).
  • Anyone interested in writing for The Haddock can email: thehaddock at hotmail dot com.

All that said, I will make you this firm and absolute promise: when Haddock News begins to regularly double its current hit-count, I will come back and write a full-length Mainspace article here. I don't care if its Uncyclopedians driving the numbers or not. Any which way we arrive there, I'll do it, and I'll let the community decide the topic. That's a good deal right?

Also feel free to keep up with me on Twitter @thinkerstjames for regular updates and manic depression. Cheers. --THINKER 06:11, April 21, 2012 (UTC)

You goddamned dirty capitalist! VIVE CHE! (Also, please come back more often please please please pretty please? We've never met, but your stuff rocks, and the GODDAMNED TEENAGERS ARE TAKING OVER THE SITE!) ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSat, Apr 21 '12 8:41 (UTC)
Che would cut you in your sleep, man. An idea. Instead of writing something new here, why don't you polish some of your non-featured pages (assuming you have some) to feature quality, which adds value to the site and features to your hos count, as well as look over your already featured articles to see if any IP rot or stupid has crept in since you checked them last. You could do these things on one computer even as you edit your stuff on that dead fish site on the other. Sound good? (or should I call Che). Thanks, and good luck with all the good plans. Aleister 13:11 21-4-'12
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