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I AM TORTILLA THE HUN I HAVE DECIDED TO FORM A GROUP, THE LEGION OF TORTILLA THE HUN, AND I HEARBY DECIDE TO DECLARE JIHAD ON BENSON AND ALL OF HIS FOLLOWERS. --Tortilla The Hun 22:49, 15 May 2007 (UTC)
What are your beliefs? They may be closer to BENSON (and maybe even Ouroboros P*w*rsh*t and Manos) than you think. Just thought we should know before people start flaming eachothers. Mr. Briggs Inc. 23:57, 15 May 2007 (UTC) Eh?
Another madman attempts to challenge the power of Benson. They are too powerful for you, little man. Go away and do something productive. --00:31, 16 May 2007 (UTC)
- Not to mention, ALL CAPS is a registered trademark of The BENSON Foundation. Do you even have a Jihad License? If not, you'll need to get one from the Un-Office of Violent Things ($15 fee) and have it Un-Notarized. Failure to comply may result in civil penalties, but it's more likely the penalties will be very un-civilized. Also, Benson is better than you. -- 00:36, 16 May 2007 (UTC)
Benson rocks my blocks.
Benson sells me smocks.
Benson wears no socks.
Benson trains the flocks.
Benson frys the woks.
Benson only gawks.
Benson caught the hawks.
Benson hates the crocs
Benson smells like cocks.
Benson hit the docks.
Benson wound the clocks.
Benson licked the jocks.
Benson locked the locks.
Benson never knocks.
Benson never talks.
BENSON ROCKS MY SOX.
so sayeth Sliferjam ~ Talk * Sock * Jam * Gallery * Fearless Fosdick? 00:37, 16 May 2007 (UTC)
NEVAR FORGET! BENSON FOREVAR! --04:06, 16 May 2007 (UTC)
YOU CANNOT TAKE OUR BENSON!
You may take our lives, you may blank our userpages, but you'll never take BENSON away from us! --Emmzee 13:02, 16 May 2007 (UTC)
HA HA Finally
I for one applaud Tortilla's attempt at restoring order to our sad, sad website made of glass. To honor his glorious arriving, I have made this amazing Userbox for his new folowers.
Capercorn 21:24, 16 May 2007 (UTC)
- "Hey guys, Tortilla is here!" No, it doesn't quite have the same ring to it. --Whhhy?Whut?How? *Back from the dead* 23:59, 16 May 2007 (UTC)
Legion of Tortilla
I have communicated with the Tortilla, outside of Uncyclopedia (E-mail). This What I Know
Uncyclopedia was once a nice, semi-normal, place, full of happiness and comedy. BUT THEN on June 6th, 2006, BENSON ARRIVED!!! Many flocked to him and proclaimed his superiority. However, some wished for BENSON to leave. The Church of BENSON, however, stated that an anti-benson would come, and challenge BENSON. The Truth is, anti-benson will be victorious. Tortilla The Hun is anti-benson. RISE UP!!! NOW!! NOW IS THE TIME FOR ALL GOOD MEN TO COME TO THE AID OF THEIR CAUSE!! DOWN WITH BENSON!! THE TIME IS COME FOR TORTILLA!! Capercorn 03:08, 17 May 2007 (UTC)
|The Chronicles of BENSON, Ch. XIV, Sec. I
--07:02, 17 May 2007 (UTC)
- /me looks around. Y'know, I never noticed before, but there are a lot of weird people around here. 09:58, 17 May 2007 (UTC)
Tortilla has also told me what his beliefs are! Tortilla states that all members of his Legion, are equals to him. He also likes presents. THESE ARE THE TWO BIGGEST DIFFERENCES BETWEEN BENSON AND TORTILLA!! Capercorn 11:58, 17 May 2007 (UTC)
A message for Tortilla and Capercorn
BENSON is supreme lord over all! HOW DARE YOU QUESTION THE AUTHORITY OF HIM! BENSON is a glorious beacon of light. The other BENSONites may laugh at you, but I will make sure you are defeated once and for all!! --Molotovnight 12:54, 17 May 2007 (UTC)
- You know - much as with real-life faiths, the more people shout about it like this, the more tempted I become to join the other religion. Only in this case everyone's shouting, so I'm sticking to my Httpism. -- Whhhy?Whut?How? *Back from the dead* 13:58, 17 May 2007 (UTC)
This silliness is distracting from the true questions in BENSONOLOGY. For example, is BENSON a wrathful deity? If a monkie keeps all of BENSON's Ten Instructions except does not believe in Him, will BENSON damn that person to subterranean pain cavern? See, we need schools of thought now that we can't just ask him. 16:06, 17 May 2007 (UTC)
Benson eats tortillas
BENSON PWNZ TORTILLA Yellow 130 22:12, 17 May 2007 (UTC) LOLLOLLOLLOLLOL
I AM TORTILLA CONVERT FORM BENSONISM AT ONCE AND JOIN MY LEGION OF TORTILLA FOR I AM BETTER THAN BENSON AND MY LEGION SHALL RULE SUPREME .
BENSON EATS U WITH CHEESE!!!!!!! Yellow 130 22:18, 17 May 2007 (UTC)
TO YOU TORTILLA Yellow 130 22:21, 17 May 2007 (UTC)
DECLARANCE... OF WAR
- Thats a no. Capercorn 10:53, 18 May 2007 (UTC)
|Lord Fluffy has declared a JIHAD on this user, and will not rest until he/she/it has been crushed.|
--Lord Fluffy who rains fire from the heavens 12:52, 18 May 2007 (UTC)
- You tell him, Fluffy! Now, I'll profiteer off of this venture, and when it's over, flee to Brazil and live in comfort! --Emmzee 13:07, 18 May 2007 (UTC)
Benson or Tortilla?
- Of course, I say BENSON. --Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 21:59, 18 May 2007 (UTC)
- BENSON, obviously. -- 22:12, 18 May 2007 (UTC)
- BENSON--Scott 22:19, 18 May 2007 (UTC)
- BENSON. -Han Solo (High Gen. Grue) Comlink Grueslayer
- STRAWBERRY CHEESECAKE ICECREAM. --Whhhy?Whut?How? *Back from the dead* 22:34, 18 May 2007 (UTC)
- BENSON. Tortilla is a hatemonger and racism is the worst. Mr. Briggs Inc. 00:02, 19 May 2007 (UTC) Eh?
- BENSON. Just look at all the wonderful things he's done. -- 01:30, 19 May 2007 (UTC)
- BENSON. --18.104.22.168 22:14, 19 May 2007 (UTC)
- ONX. Always go with the godly one over the great one.
ONX 18:04, 22 May 2007 (UTC)
Just think about this for a sec. The first time when some Caps Lock inflated ego posts on the forums, he gets a cult based around him. The second time it happens, Nobody Cares. This is clearly a sign that, because BENSON is so awesome, everyone automatically falls in love with him, but with anyone else, nothing happens. I think what is clearly obvious is that BENSON actually is here, and actually is better than you. Think about it.-- 01:49, 19 May 2007 (UTC)
- That is the best thing I've ever heard you say, ever. --Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 21:11, 19 May 2007 (UTC)
how could you have forgotten that i am the only REAL god? you need to remember that Benson and Tortilla are false idols.
on a side note: my opinion is that tortilla is a royal fucktard and i dont really give a shit about benson. ONX 01:53, 19 May 2007 (UTC)
Note: Who the bloody hell are you?--03:17, 19 May 2007 (UTC)
- He's ONX you silly sand! Mr. Briggs Inc. 11:06, 19 May 2007 (UTC) Eh?
Hey guys, ONX is here. --Emmzee 17:24, 19 May 2007 (UTC)
- Ye gods, he truly is! Wow. Emmzee, how do you know these things? --Whhhy?Whut?How? *Back from the dead* 18:01, 19 May 2007 (UTC)
- You're right! That's amazing how you knew that, Emmzee. I think you deserve to be nominated n00b of the month for that.-- 22:16, 19 May 2007 (UTC)
Message from Tortilla.
I have communicated with his greatness The Tortilla! He has stated that due to bad morale on behalf of the Fwaz, that he will take a vacition from war with Benson. Enjoy your little Pancakes while they last... Capercorn 21:05, 20 May 2007 (UTC)
- Sounds familiar. -- 23:40, 20 May 2007 (UTC)
oh yes, and i see that more people are recognizing me as god. as god, i demand an uncyclopedia radio, of which i am head DJ. obviously, by suggesting it, i have experience. ONX 16:55, 22 May 2007 (UTC)