Forum:I have banned Benson for sockpuppeting

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Forums: Index > BHOP > I have banned Benson for sockpuppeting
Note: This topic has been unedited for 2832 days. It is considered archived - the discussion is over. Do not add to unless it really needs a response.
Obscurechemics

The one and only known divine portrayal of Codeine, the god-protector of Uncyclopedia, He who Crushed the false religion of BENSON

Checkuser has revealed that all these users share an IP:

All of these socks have been used to vote for the same picture. The sockpuppets have been banned permanently, Benson has received one month for vote-rigging; it would have been longer but he didn't even manage to get the picture featured.

LOOK UPON YOUR "LEADER" NOW

-- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 00:57, 7 December 2006 (UTC)

This would have been funnier if it had been posted in the BENSON forum. - Nonymous 01:03, 7 December 2006 (UTC)
Well, at least he didn't get outed by a meth-pushing male prostitute.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 01:05, 7 December 2006 (UTC)
Err, no, that's riiight... *looks shifty, exits post-haste* -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 01:08, 7 December 2006 (UTC)
WHAT? A WHOLE MONTH? BENSON IS MY GOD. WE STILL HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO WORSHIP HIM, BECAUSE WE BELIEVE THAT HE IS BETTER THAN US. (Disclaimer: I'm just curious, this is not meant to mock you. I think you do a great job as admin and always have good intentions, so please don't take it in another way) Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 03:53, 7 December 2006 (UTC)
On a more serious note, is there proof those are socks? Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 04:03, 7 December 2006 (UTC)
Yes. Wikia staff have confirmed that the IP's are the same for all of the above users, and coupled with the fact that they all have very few edits, but all voted for Benson's nominated picture (indeed, it was one of the socks that nominated the picture in the first place), the proof is more than sufficient. I'm utterly indifferent to the whole "ZOMG, we love Benson" thing, but I wouldn't ban him for no reason, nor will I tolerate vote rigging from anyone. -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 10:08, 7 December 2006 (UTC)
I understand. I'm pissed, but I understand. (although I always thought that "BENSON doesn't need socks, especially because he has us.") Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 15:44, 7 December 2006 (UTC)
Can I permaban him? Can I? CAN I? - Sir Sikon [formerly known as Guest] 18:03, 7 December 2006 (UTC)
How do we know the bulk of their contribs are from the same IP? For all we know, they could be friends of BENSON, who first checked out Uncyc from his house or something. Or made one or two edits there. Maybe BENSON edits from a school or library or university or some such, and lots of people have to share an IP. It just seems to me that BENSON would never do such a thing like sockpuppeting. Is a shared IP truly proof of the same person? No, it only means they were on the same network. --User:Nintendorulez 20:39, 8 December 2006 (UTC)

It is the crucifixion of BENSON, as I prophesied: "Lo, BENSON shall be falsely accused of taking on the guise of others, and shall be banned by the evil overlords of the land which was rightfully HIS. BENSON shall rise again in two fortnight's time, and shall return with the burning anger of a thousand suns." (Cue Cainad)-- Tinymooose.gif » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 05:23, 8 December 2006 (UTC)

BRAVO! WELL SAID! I SHALL PRAY DAILY FOR HIS SAFE RETURN. Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 06:09, 8 December 2006 (UTC)

Funny, my toungue in cheek vote of "For, vote fixing" turned out to be true. --Uncyclon - Do we still link to BENSON? 10:04, 8 December 2006 (UTC)

The Chronicles of BENSON, Ch. V, Sec. II:
"With the MIGHTY and EVIL powers of bannination and eye beams, The Great Methylmorphine DID banneth BENSON from the Uncyclopedia. And Behold! this puny monkey of an admin DID claim to have destroyed the powers and awesomeness of BENSON, just because admins are the only kind of puny monkey-men that can slap BENSON on the wrist without sponteously combusting. Such FOOLISHNESS was, nevertheless, a source of great shame to the Faithful, who kind of wished BENSON was a more SKILLED sockpuppeteer. All humankind hung its head it a moment of shame, being careful not to bump its head on the desk and create even more shame.

Yet the Exile of BENSON was not so simple to acheive, And Yea; ALL admins did tremble in fear of the day prophesied by the First Prophet of BENSON. When the GREAT SHAMEFUL BAN (as it would be known forever after, once the Chronicler decided to call it that just now) ended, Vengeance would be taken by the One Who Is Better Than You. A fury like none the universe had ever before seen nor dreamt of, and not even the twisted minds of the admins could fully appreciate without wetting their pants, would descend upon human-monkey kind and crush it in a fearsome display of the glory that is BENSON.

And yes...

It would be AWESOME."
In the name of the Holy BENSON, weep.

--The Acceptable Thinking cap small Cainad Sacred Chao (Fnord) 10:18, 8 December 2006 (UTC)

That's odd, my version reads quite differently.

"And it did come to pass that The Angel Uriel did looketh down from on high, and what he saw displeased him greatly. He saw a False idol clothed in the disguise of a prophet; and yea verily, the false idol did alter the sacred parchments in his own favour. And Uriel was displeased. And he didst request an audience with the Metatron, saying, "Look ye upon thine sacred lands; and see how the idolators do defile that which is held most sacred. And whislt thou art at it, canst thou doest a checkuser too?"

And the voice of God didst speak unto Uriel, saying "Yea, verily, this idolator doth clothe himself in many guises. Let him be cast out from the sacred land, and into the wilderness for not less than thirty moons, lest the powers of God be doubted by those who wouldst stray from the path of righteousness. And it came to pass that the Angel Uriel didst smite the false prophet Benson with his Holy Stick of Bannination; and God saw that it was good"

Fear ye the ADMINS for they shalt show you the light.

-- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 11:57, 8 December 2006 (UTC)

That's because you have a different bible than us. --General Insineratehymn 12:09, 8 December 2006 (UTC)
Also, you suck at writing dogmatic religious passages. There aren't enough capital letters to keep the masses properly opiated. --The Acceptable Thinking cap small Cainad Sacred Chao (Fnord) 17:52, 8 December 2006 (UTC)
Maybe so, but I'm exceptionally good at smiting. Perhaps sir requires another demonstration? -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 19:23, 8 December 2006 (UTC)
No, I don't want you to smite any of us. --General Insineratehymn 21:21, 8 December 2006 (UTC)
Also also, you're a cranky admin with a porcupine up the rear, who did exactly what any admin should do: reprimand users for being naughty. We're trying to praise you for your competence in spite of the shame it causes the BENSONites, dammit. Accept the kudos and move on. --The Acceptable Thinking cap small Cainad Sacred Chao (Fnord) 09:55, 9 December 2006 (UTC)

Wow, it's like that Jesus guy and the three trials w/the devil in the desert. Except that it was Benson and one trial w/Benson in VFP. Oh, and he failed. --Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 03:35, 9 December 2006 (UTC)
It's about time someone took care of Benson... --AAA! (AAAA) 06:51, 9 December 2006 (UTC)

Perhaps someone should take care of you. You've done nothing but disrespect Benson ever since you came here. Learn some respect for once. --General Insineratehymn 17:46, 10 December 2006 (UTC)
Oh, I respect users, just not Benson because he so annoying (ALLCAPS for example). I've hated him ever since I was a lurking IP. --AAA! (AAAA) 04:17, 11 December 2006 (UTC)
IN THAT CASE, I'LL USE ALLCAPS OUT OF SPITE, JUST TO ANNOY YOU SOME MORE! --General Insineratehymn 13:32, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

So when does BENSON's ban expire?

I'm taking a hunger edit strike until the second our Lord returns. Because 1) a check user isn't enough proof they they are the same person, and 2) Uncyc's no fun without BENSON. --User:Nintendorulez 20:46, 8 December 2006 (UTC)

Will this be the same as your pledge to stay out of the Dump, which lasted less than seven hours? (more) —rc (t) 21:42, 8 December 2006 (UTC)
I said I would be less active. And I figured the drama ended and such. >_> --User:Nintendorulez 23:29, 8 December 2006 (UTC)

Honestly Nin, think about it for a second, it was obviously Benson. And hell, even if it wasn't, having your friends (friends that have no prior edits to uncyclopedia) vote for your image on VFP is still pretty bad. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 23:35, 8 December 2006 (UTC)

I've decided I'm avoiding the VD at all costs from now on.
I just cannot continue participating in such a fucked up forum.
I'm leaving the VD and keeping my nose out of anything that tries to be remotely serious.
I quit. Goodbye.
I have officially left the VD, and any and all community-related bits of this wiki. Goodbye, good riddance.
rc (t) 23:36, 8 December 2006 (UTC)
You forgot the sixth line: ^sort of ^maybe ^momentarily ^I'll be back soon Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 23:42, 8 December 2006 (UTC)
You're taking an edit strike? Good riddance. - Nonymous 01:11, 9 December 2006 (UTC)
Bye BENSON, you weren't very good at being a god anyhow. ^_^ SpacerSpacerPremierTomMayfairChe RedPhone Unsoc Hammer and sickle 01:15, 9 December 2006 (UTC)
TRAITOR! Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 02:56, 9 December 2006 (UTC)
I never swore allegiance. I just added them tempaltes. A good god would have had the templates in place before the article was ever written. ^_^ SpacerSpacerPremierTomMayfairChe RedPhone Unsoc Hammer and sickle 19:03, 9 December 2006 (UTC)
Still, you helped Him out and then abandoned Him. Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 22:38, 9 December 2006 (UTC)
That doesn't justify his sockpuppetry. I didn't realize my method of worship was the turning point in a god's divine plan. If only I could have believed in him, none of this would have happened :(. Oh well, ^_^ SpacerSpacerPremierTomMayfairChe RedPhone Unsoc Hammer and sickle 22:44, 9 December 2006 (UTC)
Wow Nin, you're right. Tell you what, how's about we give you the IP, and the Customer Services number of the ISP that owns it, and you can call them up and ask them which of their subscribers was using it at the times in question. Then you could come back and explain to us how four different users, all within the same IP address block (and indeed, the same one as Benson), decided to sign up to Uncyclopedia for the first time within three days of each other and all vote for Benson's picture. You could sell it to one of those "Stranger Than Fiction" magazines, make a small profit on it too. -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 17:28, 9 December 2006 (UTC)
Doesn't the burden of proof fall on the prosecutor? --User:Nintendorulez 17:06, 10 December 2006 (UTC)
Quite right, and the proof here is pretty goddamn conclusive; just as it would be if you were in the dock for being a fuckwit --Olipro Icons-flag-gb Anchor KUN (Harass) 17:39, 10 December 2006 (UTC)

This isn't the first time Codeine banned someone for doing something Benson-related

Nin got banned for nominating him for WotM awhile back. Although I have seen some of BENSON's pics, and some of them are actuall really good (well all of them are because BENSON made them, but the ones I have in mind would have been really good no matter who made them). Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 07:39, 9 December 2006 (UTC)

Also, I may sound crazy, but BENSON, despite his godliness, has done some good for Uncyclopedia besides providing us with something funny to do. He's done a good job with some of his articles (Pond Whales is pretty good, and he has a few others as well). Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 07:40, 9 December 2006 (UTC)
Hey I've got nothing against Benson per se, and yeah, he has contributed some useful stuff. The ban isn't personal, anyone caught rampantly sockpuppeting like that would face the same consequences. *prepares for barrage of comments about how "Benson is above mere mortal justice"* -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 17:18, 9 December 2006 (UTC)
Benson is above mere mortal justice! ... Sorry, don't know what came over me there. Spang talk 17:42, 9 Dec 2006
Codeine, I know you banned BENSON for good reason. In fact, I'm glad you don't discriminate. I'm just wondering why BENSON used socks, as the Bensonian Bible clearly states that BENSON does not need socks. Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 18:53, 9 December 2006 (UTC)
The Benshiites, and Bensunni have been following the anti-Benson. Obviously. It's right there in the Book of Reservations (after "Johnson, party of 6" and "Smiths, booth"). Even I know that, and I just made that up. --Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 19:01, 9 December 2006 (UTC)

The BENSON wars have begun it has

MY REPORT EXPLAINS WHY THIS IS A CIVIL WAR UNews Repoter:"BENSON Secetrian violence is now civil war".(IT'S JUST A PARAODY OF THIS AND NBC NEWS DECLEARING THAT IRAQ IS IN CIVIL WAR)--Scott 23:55, 9 December 2006 (UTC)

LIEK URE SPEELING IZ HORIBLE. ID MOEV TEH PAG BTU IM ON STRIHK. --User:Nintendorulez 17:08, 10 December 2006 (UTC)

n::Why are you on strike, Nin? This Euroipods related? Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 19:16, 10 December 2006 (UTC)

Probably, but let's not get into that. Do us all a favor. (note: this is a hint to everyone not to bring *that* up again, akin to kicking someone in the shin from under the table) --The Acceptable Thinking cap small Cainad Sacred Chao (Fnord) 19:49, 10 December 2006 (UTC)

Your god was on the IRC & got himself blocked from that for a month as well. Here's how it went down:

-->|BENSON has joined #uncyclopedia
<TomMayfair>heh
<BENSON>BENSON would like to know more information about his ban!|
<BENSON>BENSON demands it!
<flyingfeline>O_O
<TomMayfair>You're banned
<flyingfeline>oh. my. god.
<NeoZidane>XD
<NeoZidane>zomg BENSON
<keitei>BENSON, tampering with votes is bad
<TomMayfair>m'kay
<BENSON>BENSON never tampered with votes

  • NeoZidanehas 13 heart attacks

<keitei>did you make sockpuppets?
<flyingfeline>you sockpuppeted
<BENSON>the accounts were BENSON's friends' accounts
<TomMayfair>BENSON sockpuppets did it
<BENSON>we made them from our school
<Squiggle>BENSON, eh?
<BENSON>thtat's why it was the same IP
<Squiggle>Never see you in IRC
<flyingfeline>ah
<BENSON>BENSON demands to be unbanned!
<NeoZidane>BENSON goes to school?
<NeoZidane>odd place for a god
<TomMayfair>BENSON is a god, correct?
<BENSON>BENSON didn't want anyone to know but he's actually in high school
<ynnaD>BENSON demands it!
<BENSON>BENSON is a teenage god
<TomMayfair>then unban yourself
<Squiggle>Sounds like a bad sitcom

  • ynnaDprays to the semi-mighty BENSON!

<BENSON>actuaally never mind BENSON teaches... yes, you monkies ought to believe that
<Olipro>is that Pants?
<jsonitsac>i don't understand how that wasn't vot tampering
<Olipro>jsonitsac: yeah, BENSON was responsible for the Bush Election
<keitei>Olipro, pants doesn't use cgi-irc and has an NY IP
<BENSON>BENSON told his friends to make accounts on uncyc and showed them the picture and they decieded to vote for it and then got bored after a week and left uncyc and made fun of me for staying here
<jsonitsac>which one?
<TomMayfair>I want a note from your principal sayin' that your friends created the accounts
<slif3rjam>so was my gerbil farm
<jsonitsac>they "decided"
<jsonitsac>come on
<BENSON>we're not supposed to be doing other non work realated stuff on school comps
=-=Code_Chow_Mein is now known as Codeine
<TomMayfair>and from your mother with a picture of her in a french maid outfit
<BENSON>BENSON will lose all school privelages on computers if he tells
<flyingfeline>ahar, codeine
<flyingfeline>aww
<jsonitsac>keitei, maybe that's a better way to punish him
<jsonitsac>tell his principal
<NeoZidane>we really need to give advice on not using schools since they tend to have the same IPs
<keitei>haha, that's mean
<ynnaD>BENSON, learn to alt-tab
<flyingfeline>Codeine: we have a complaining BENSON

  • jsonitsacbows

<TomMayfair>with her doin' dirty thin's with the feather duster
<TomMayfair>I want it in an 8x10
<sannse>just for the record...looking at the IP... this is a very unlikely story
<TomMayfair>come on now, chop-chop
<jsonitsac>put his IP in here to find out the school http://www.geobytes.com/IpLocator.htm
<BENSON>Mayfair: BENSON is working on the picture for you

  • TomMayfairwaits patiently

<BENSON>yes please locate the ip
<BENSON>that will prove it to you puny monkies that BENSON is innocent!
<sannse>jsonitsac: obviously I did something very much like that (different service) - and that's why I said what I did
<Codeine>Bullshit, it's still vote fixing to me.
<TomMayfair>why didn't you just go to there houses to do this?
<jsonitsac>gotcha
<BENSON>if BENSON's friends vote for their god?
<BENSON>its the same when the rest of the BENSON followers here vote for BENSON's stuff
<jsonitsac>they were not independent, nor did they independently come to the site, or independently come to their conclusion
<TomMayfair>that is true
<TomMayfair>ban all the followers
<BENSON>fine, they don't like uncyc anyways
<keitei>even if they aren't sockpuppets, they're still meatpuppets
<BENSON>o ban them anyways
<jsonitsac>you used proxies to get votes. hence, it's the same as sockpuppeting
<Squiggle>Meatpuppets? The band?
<TomMayfair>make them give me the same types of photos of their mothers
<ENeGMA>good band
<BENSON>BENSOn didn't telll them to vote for the pic!!!!
<ENeGMA>"Where do bad folks go when they die!"
<Olipro>I never trust a guy who refers to himself in the third person
<ynnaD>cg forums always make my image editing skills feel inadequate
<jsonitsac>liar
<Codeine>Oh bullshit benson
<flyingfeline>oh come one
<flyingfeline>*on
<Codeine>how did they know to vote
<jsonitsac>ynnad, that would be kind of cool if we could build an arcology
<BENSON>they have accounts on wikipedia
<flyingfeline>having never seen uncyc before, they just randomly found VFP and voted
<TomMayfair>it was prophesisied
<TomMayfair>*
<BENSON>they know how to vote because they're on wikipedia
<NeoZidane>BENSON, let these people have their beauracracy, its part of the fun in being an uncyclopedian, just take the ban, even if you didnt mean any bad practice, or mayeb you did, just take it like a god eh?
<ynnaD>it would, jsonitsac. I'd not trust living in one though, because humans built it
<jsonitsac>take your ban like a man
<TomMayfair>god*
<NeoZidane>woops, typo in presence of BENSON
<jsonitsac>ynnad, how about one built by aliens?

  • NeoZidaneperforms ritual cleansing

<BENSON>BENSON IS NOT A MAN THO. BENSON IS A GOD
<ynnaD>that's just silly, you know what I meant
<Olipro>I STILL never trust a guy who refers to himself in the third person
<BENSON>no, BENSON is not familiar with what you meant
<TomMayfair>I'm a cannibal
<jsonitsac>if benson is a "god" than how come there is evil in the world?

  • flyingfelinewonders how BENSON gets any friends at school if he considers himself to be a god

<jsonitsac>ff benson's friends = benson
<BENSON>because BENSON is an evil god
<keitei>BENSON, it's december, surely it is holiday season and there are real life things to do
<Codeine>Besides Benson, you're not at school now
<Codeine>and your IP is int he same block
<BENSON>no, BENSON doesn't have any real life things to do
<NeoZidane>maybe BENSON isnt a god at His school, making Him want to be a god somewhere
<NeoZidane>i.e. here
<Codeine>funny how your school and your home have the same ISP
<Codeine>almost amazingly coincidental
<jsonitsac>how do you know codeine?
<ynnaD>why are we continuing this conversation? :/
<BENSON>THEY DON"T!
<NeoZidane>because ynnaD theres nothing else to do
<ynnaD>TomMayfair, it's a cable line
<keitei>maybe he goes to a homeschool
<keitei>haha
<Codeine>Benson, the IP's of the "voters" all came from one ISP
<Codeine>the same as you're using RIGHT NOW
<BENSON>yes, the school's
<NeoZidane>maybe He lives in school
<BENSON>im not at school now
<NeoZidane>ran away from home and became a god
<jsonitsac>keitei, i don't really see benson as a homeschool kid
<Codeine>No. SO IT MUST BE YOURS YOU STUPID ASSHOLE
<jsonitsac>i tend to think of the jesus camp people as home school kids
<Codeine>Some fucking god you are
<BENSON>ITS NOT YOU STUPIDER ASSHOLE
<ynnaD>it could be a vpn, Codeine
<Codeine>I've had enough of this.
<NeoZidane>oh come on
<BENSON>BENSON DEMANDS YOU UNBAN HIM
=-=Mode #uncyclopedia +o Codeine by ChanServ
<NeoZidane>a school kid with a vpn
<TomMayfair>ut oh
<jsonitsac>how about benson gets kickbanned?
<Codeine>Benson can shut the fuck up.
<BENSON>ITS A VPN YOU CODEINE YOU!

  • BENSON was booted from #uncyclopedia by Codeine (later, benson)

^_^ SpacerSpacerPremierTomMayfairChe RedPhone Unsoc Hammer and sickle 22:41, 10 December 2006 (UTC)

To clarify; Benson claimed on IRC that the users who made the votes were friends of his, and the reason they shared an IP was because they were all logged on from a school network. Almost believable, were it not for the fact that Benson was logged on to IRC from the same address block (which incidentally, belongs to a home consumer ISP, not a school) on a Sunday evening, and indeed even admitted:
<BENSON>im not at school now
"Hoist by your own petard", I believe the phrase is. -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 23:19, 10 December 2006 (UTC)
So why exactly was he banned from IRC? Because you proved him wrong? Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 23:26, 10 December 2006 (UTC)
Mostly because it's embarrasing when someone's lying to you, and you and they both know that they are. I find that kind of sad, really, and I had no interest in prolonging a discussion under those circumstances. Anyway, IRC bans aren't like here, he'll most probably be unbanned from there before the night's over. -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 23:33, 10 December 2006 (UTC)
Hopefully he'll learn to control himself and be constructive as he has in the past. I have faith in him. After all, he IS a god. Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 04:00, 11 December 2006 (UTC)
Heh, heh, heh. Praise Codeine for banning Benson! (Yes, I'm an anti-Bensonist) --AAA! (AAAA) 04:12, 11 December 2006 (UTC)
BENSON's in high school? That loses him all his mystique. I'm gonna go worship Ba'al. -- Tinymooose.gif » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 04:51, 11 December 2006 (UTC)
How does one destroy a god? One cannot. The god destroys itself..... which is what we just witnessed. ^_^ SpacerSpacerPremierTomMayfairChe RedPhone Unsoc Hammer and sickle 19:43, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

We're being abandoned here!

It seems we're losing members, and others are leaving Uncyc. Sign on if you remain loyal to BENSON. Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 20:20, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

CAPS LOCK TIL DEATH I SAY. --Anyone 21:14, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

I'D RATHER SINK WITH THE SHIP THAN JUMP OFF PREMATURELY! --General Insineratehymn 21:35, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

I MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT WRITE NINE WHOLE SECTIONS OF THE CHRONICLES OF BENSON JUST TO HAVE THEM MADE OBSOLETE, DAMMIT. --The Acceptable Thinking cap small Cainad Sacred Chao (Fnord) 08:41, 12 December 2006 (UTC)

BENSON SHALL ARISE AGAIN! Although it seems to be taking more than three days... --User:Nintendorulez 22:51, 14 December 2006 (UTC)

THE RIDE HAS BEEN FUN SO FAR... --Uncyclon - Do we still link to BENSON? 07:33, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

Oh shit! It's a voice of reason! Run!

Until the B-man gets back how about you try to, oh I don't know, write funny pages and whatnot, instead of huddling together and bitching in allcaps. Uncyc would probably be a better place for it.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 21:39, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

I would but I have a very real proposal to write and take some very real exams. I actually have some plans for a good article, but I need two good hours to write it, minimum. I don't have that right now. Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 01:55, 12 December 2006 (UTC)

A message to all who do not follow BENSON

It may seem to you that BENSON is a silly meme; a user who invites unnecessary posting and flippant, flamboyant acts of forum-foolery (i.e. drama). If this is your opinion on BENSON and his followers, you are absolutely correct. However, you are also horribly mistaken. While it is true that, more than a few times, the followers of BENSON (and occasionally BENSON himself) have gone overboard and done silly/stupid things, they are rarely disruptive. Most BENSON-related topics are correctly placed in the BHOP forum, where they do very little damage, and occasionally bring a few chuckles to those who get the joke.

What is the joke, you ask? What makes BENSON even remotely funny? Well, it's very simple. No, wait, scratch that, it's actually very contrived. Just sit still and be quiet for a moment while I explain it. In the beginning, BENSON introduced himself in the most obnoxious manner possible.

Cquote1 BENSON IS HERE! BENSON IS FAR SUPERIOR TO YOU! BENSON TYPES IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE BENSON SPEAKS IN ALL CAPS! ONE DAY BENSON WILL KILL YOU ALL, OR PERHAPS OWN YOU! BENSON JUST WANTED EVERYONE TO KNOW THAT HE IS HERE. Benson 00:11, 6 June 2006 (UTC) Cquote2

The bluntness and capital letters, combined with the pause and use of the words "because" and "or" create a humorous clash. One would expect BENSON to be very direct, but he uses the phrase "or perhaps" after making an unprovoked death threat, indicating uncertainty and a desire to clarify his point, something most people don't bother with when typing (or speaking) in all caps. Also, for the record, I have not yet seen BENSON use foul language. This distinguishes BENSON from Powershot, because the Powershot dude was foul-mouthed and hateful. BENSON does not hate us, he simply explains that he is better than us. Furthermore, BENSON was the first to present himself this way. It may not be fair, but nobody else can get away with the "raging egoist" joke, because BENSON already has it. There is one BENSON, and no one else can be as great as he, and this helps keep BENSON funny.

Moreover, the way BENSONites carry out their discussions is a joke. If you take their angry shouting, accusations of blasphemy, and threats of "Wait 'til BENSON finds out about this" seriously, then you are a dumb asshat have misinterpreted them. I fully expect to be accused of being a traitor, blasphemer, and all sorts of terrible things for talking about BENSON in such an apologetic manner, but it will be mildly funny and I will be amused.

That being said, Modusoperandi is right. Everybody get off the forum and write an article, dammit. --The Acceptable Thinking cap small Cainad Sacred Chao (Fnord) 00:26, 16 December 2006 (UTC)

Maybe in addition to BHOP, a forum could be added for lesser religions of those who do not follow BENSON. That way the infidels and their troll topics have a forum to go to without pissing us off. --User:Nintendorulez 22:27, 16 December 2006 (UTC)
Or they could just take the same initiative we've been taking when our favorite articles/forums get screwed up and make something in userspace. Our enemies are lazy. Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 00:55, 17 December 2006 (UTC)

BENSON WAS JUST JOKING ABOUT THE SCHOOL THING. BENSON WAS TESTING HOW GULIBLE YOU ARE. BENSON IS A GOD AND DOES NOT GO TO SCHOOL. SILLY MONKEYS. YOU HAVE PASSED THE TEST. Benson 23:45, 24 December 2006 (UTC)

YAY! I pass! ...What do I win? --User:Nintendorulez 12:03, 25 December 2006 (UTC)
  • ...... --AAA! (AAAA) 08:13, 25 December 2006 (UTC)
    • *sigh* When are you going to quit trolling us BENSONites? Nobody's forcing you to enter the BENSON forum. GO AWAY. --User:Nintendorulez 12:03, 25 December 2006 (UTC)
      • You may call it trolling, I just call it having a joke. I do like BENSON, but I find it fun to be his enemy (Like Batman and the Joker). --AAA! (AAAA) 23:08, 25 December 2006 (UTC)
        • Yes, your jokes suck and you don't make a very good enemy. You are just a wanna-be Benson-hater. A true Benson-hater would be the Powershot dude, mostly because he is foul-mouthed and filled with malice. You simply do it just to look cool, as you shout "Look at me, I hate Benson! I am cool because I hate Benson! Huh huh huh!" --General Insineratehymn 23:14, 25 December 2006 (UTC)
          • There have been people in the past who decided to hate on BENSON because they might think it's "cool." Honestly, if you're going to start drama, make it good. Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 06:34, 26 December 2006 (UTC)
            • Um, okay... --AAA! (AAAA) 12:41, 26 December 2006 (UTC)
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