Forum:Heavy Traffic Articles

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Note: This topic has been unedited for 1577 days. It is considered archived - the discussion is over. Do not add to unless it really needs a response.

After several days of getting a handle on the huge amount of data given in Google Analytics after access was granted to me, I decided to take a look at the articles that received the highest traffic, but were not featured or UnNews. Because the featured articles are almost always the top article of the day, if not, its a big UnNews story, and in the cases of these its merely a really big spike which knocks them into the big numbers.

So anyways, here are the top articles this month.

1. Auditor

My first thought for this one was... why? Its actually the 4th highest traffic today, behind only AAA, Search Results, and the Main Page. I figured there was probably something more to it, like maybe a huge spike caused by being linked to. But it has actually been getting steadilly high activity for a while. Its barely been edited, it doesnt look all that superb, and perhaps this is reflected in a 77% exit rate. In other words, 77% of the people who have gone to this article did not go anywhere else afterwards on Uncyclopedia. I dont blame them really, but this doesnt answer why they are there in the first place. My best guess is that its a vanity type page put up by people who work at a large company. I know this sounds sort of contrived, but perhaps its a sort of big injoke among auditors or perhaps people who dont like auditors. Maybe not, but in the least, its not that great an article, but its the most seen non featured non unnews article that we have this month - and indeed today's second most seen written article period.

This one is rather stupid, I can understand the high exit rate, I personally dropped out halfway through the article because it is not that funny. --User:KWild/sig 03:18, 27 January 2007 (UTC)
It's okay, but not the best. goshzillacorrespondence 20:40, 3 February 2007 (UTC)

2. Emo

This seems somewhat reasonable given the subject matter. Just giving the article a quick look, its a bit lame. Nothing strikes me as particularly great for being such a high traffic article, and its probably all from its name and not its content. I think we could probably have a better looking article on this topic, though the suicide exit rate in this case is only 30%. Maybe just a bit of house keeping would help bring that down.

3. Sex 4. Boobs

Here are two more articles which have a high place that is perhaps more telling of just what people are looking for than their level of funny. Since they dont really have much. Boobs has a 47% exit rate, whereas sex has a sexy 70%.

5. Educational_aspects_of_porn...

Alright, so at this point, there is a trend. I dont know that this article really has anywhere to go, but its nonetheless a high traffic article. Sick, sick people, I must say. 45% of the people who view this exit.

6. Malaysia

For the 6th and final installment of todays quest, we have Malaysia, which probably has potential to go in. The current article is pretty messy, with red links, poorly placed images, and could probably be cleaned up. Once again, its a high exit rate of 45%.

Possibly because Malaysia is mostly Islamic and supports terrorists attacking Southern Thailand and other nations that neighbor their borders in hopes that they can use the terrorists to take land back from their neighbors. Many nations near Malaysia got hit with bombs during New Years, and people are trying to search to see if Malaysia had supported the terrorists who bombed markets and places that tourists would visit. Also, heh heh, a lot of things are made in Malaysia and imported to other nations because Malaysia's economy is in the toilet which means cheaper labor. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 03:41, 4 February 2007 (UTC)

Comments, Exposition, Theories and Whatnot

So from this we get a glimpse into where people seem to be flocking, and a lot of the time these places arent all that great. I think that a good strategy to give us a good image out there would be to put some sort of an effort into face lifting these high traffic places. If they are impressed by these huge draw articles, which get a vast majority of their traffic from people who are viewing Uncyclopedia for their first visit, we can make a good first impression and therefore draw them into other areas. By making them more appealing articles, we can possibly draw down the exit rate into lower levels and draw in more long time visitors, and perhaps even writers.

There is a whole lot more information that Google Analytics can give, and I might have put more into this if it wasnt acting so depressingly slow tonight. But I hope this is enough to get started on. ~Sir Rangeley Icons-flag-us GUN WotM UotM EGA +S (talk) 02:31, 27 January 2007 (UTC)

Wow. This can't be good for our public image. --Thinking cap small»The Acceptable Cainad (Fnord) 02:56, 27 January 2007 (UTC)
I'm currently adding pictures to Auditor, and am trying to make the article at least partially interesting. --General Insineratehymn 03:11, 27 January 2007 (UTC)
I bet it's Scientologists that are going to the Auditor article. That's what they call their brainwashing process ("auditing"). --Composure1 03:20, 27 January 2007 (UTC)
But there are no edits to the article that seem to change it. What we should be seeing then are edits to the article making it more factually accurate, to Scientologists, but we aren't. --User:KWild/sig 03:26, 27 January 2007 (UTC)
Forget editing it, I say wipe it out and start over under that theme. ~Sir Rangeley Icons-flag-us GUN WotM UotM EGA +S (talk) 03:29, 27 January 2007 (UTC)
Wow, this is a great post. What the heck is going on with the Auditors thing? And Malaysia? You don't suppose Malaysia has 'discovered' Uncyclopedia? -- Hindleyite Converse 14:12, 27 January 2007 (UTC)
Yea, it was only a matter of time... I have started facelifting Malaysia's article. ~Sir Rangeley Icons-flag-us GUN WotM UotM EGA +S (talk) 16:10, 27 January 2007 (UTC)

Excellent post, Range. Thanks for the info. I think "auditors" is getting high traffic because people hate them (not unlike "lawyers"). They WANT them to be made fun of. I also think it could be spiking due to people starting to think about tazes, but the way you wrote the entry on them, I find that to not necessarily be the case.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 17:08, 27 January 2007 (UTC)

What would be nice at this point would be some of our expert authors to "colonize" those pages and make them at least representative of what's great about Uncyclopedia.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 17:09, 27 January 2007 (UTC)
Alright. I'll just make Auditor and Emo redirect to Euroipods. That should conveniently solve all our problems in one fell swoop. --Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 18:43, 27 January 2007 (UTC)
Malaysia actually has some fairly good content hidden under all the redlinks and images. Its been cleaned up considerably. ~Sir Rangeley Icons-flag-us GUN WotM UotM EGA +S (talk) 18:45, 27 January 2007 (UTC)
I'm guessing the Malaysia "popularity" is probably due to controversy over the flag image. That's the thing I think is most likely to grab attention on that page. Articles about countries seem to garner a lot of hate when you mess with their flag/coat of arms/country-wide sexual-orientation.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 23:20, 27 January 2007 (UTC)

Bit attaboy to Rangeley. Talk about taking direct action! ShaZAM! On Auditor, the original appears to have been mostly the work of, which WHOISes to RIPE Network Coordination Centre, which in this case just means "somewhere in Europe" as far as I can tell. I can't believe an article called "Auditors" would draw more casual interest than, say, "Tax collector" or "Politician" or any of a host of other articles. It is a puzzlement. ----OEJ 23:11, 27 January 2007 (UTC)

Few Days Out

A few days have passed since facelifting occured on Auditor and Malaysia, so I figured it would be worth checking if any real change occured on the exit rates. First, I checked out Auditor.
We can consider the big dip an abberation due to the heavy editing that occured, but after that it leveled out into a slightly lower, yet noticable rate. Whereas before it averaged between 75-80%, it is now more consistently at 65%, which is a 10-15% drop depending on how you look at it. Given that thousands of people view this in a week, that means hundreds more people are looking further than they would have otherwise. Overall, not bad for a pretty small amount of work.

Next, we look at Malaysia.
For this, it was more like two days of heavy editing, so we can consider both of those low numbers abberations. But after it levels off, we see it settle into a range of 25-30%, which is almost half as high as it was before, at the 45% mark. I liked how the Malaysia article came out, simply because there was a lot of content there that would have been missed by people who were turned off by the massive red links and poorly placed images. But with this dealt with, its a more attractive article overall, and it shows pretty clearly.

So I think we can consider this a small success in making this a more appealing site. Given the very limited amount of work on these articles, one can imagine that a more concerted effort would result in an even better outcome. If we target more hotspots with this sort of facelifting and improvement, we can really boost the overall activity on this site as well as present a more appealing picture to others out there. ~Sir Rangeley Icons-flag-us GUN WotM UotM EGA +S (talk) 04:09, 1 February 2007 (UTC)

Ok, mission success! Next up, someone needs to fix up the article "boobs." Any volunteers?--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 12:32, 1 February 2007 (UTC)
I'm pretty sure you need some sort of medical degree for that... Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 22:01, 1 February 2007 (UTC)

Auditor is/was on vfh, which would've meant more regular users viewing it, which would've affected the dropout, probably - jack mort | cunt | talkKodamaIcon - 20:12, 1 February 2007 (UTC)

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