Forum:HappyMonkey sponsored contest later today

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Forums: Index > Village Dump > HappyMonkey sponsored contest later today
Note: This topic has been unedited for 1961 days. It is considered archived - the discussion is over. Do not add to unless it really needs a response.

How about this

1st Yah i know, the edges are rough, but it was worse before i did a really really really quick trim, i am just too lazy/tired to do a proper edge trimming. Or the rest, i will get them however. --Happymonkey39 LAZARWeegeeheadbobinDomo kun dance1 Dah Meme Master 05:20, August 4, 2010 (UTC) it might have looked weird on it anyways....yet again, the monkey piss would be better for a reviewing that's freaking retarded. --Happymonkey39 LAZARWeegeeheadbobinDomo kun dance1 Dah Meme Master 05:24, August 4, 2010 (UTC)

Fixed the "piss". The yellow stuff was actually this--M'su Carencro - Talk - Contributions - Blag 05:42, August 4, 2010 (UTC)
Hey, we need a participant badge as well. You know, for the 'tarded ones who don't win and us judges as well.
Also, is this the only time we will be doing this this year? (LOOKS AWESOME BTW.) Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  04 Aug 2010 ~ 05:43 (UTC)

Eh, i decided not to trim them. If this is an award representing me and my epicness (and something to do with winning a contest) then it should show my extremely laziness!...

In other words someone else do it, i don't wanna. --Happymonkey39 LAZARWeegeeheadbobinDomo kun dance1 Dah Meme Master 14:40, August 4, 2010 (UTC)

I Made Some Awards

HappyMonkeyWinner HappyMonkeyRunnerUp HappyMonkeyThird HappyMonkeyParticipant HappyMonkeyJudge

Are they okay?--M'su Carencro - Talk - Contributions - Blag 04:38, August 4, 2010 (UTC)

They are a true work of art (ignore my well known bad grammar), there's just one problem, ill see if i can fix it. --Happymonkey39 LAZARWeegeeheadbobinDomo kun dance1 Dah Meme Master 05:01, August 4, 2010 (UTC)

Put Your Name Under Here If You're Done (or not)

  1. lordarcadian UnBooks:My Day at the Zoo
  2. Aleister Tombstone
  3. Socky Brown Moses
  4. MsuCarencro Pointy Sticks

Happymonkey's 2010 August Writing Contest! Sign up here! (or not)

So this is the current roster? Please correct this if I'm wrong.--M'su Carencro - Talk - Contributions - Blag


Alright, these are the "partners". Please put an exact title on the talk page of the other person in your pair in the next few minutes. Since this is now a 24 hour contest, it loosens up the time a little. So we will start at the top of the hour, and get your article name in before that. Thanks. Aleister 1:51 3 8


happymonkey39 ~HowTo:Protect Yourself From Unpleasant Giant Piranhas
MsuCarencro ~Pointy Sticks
Aleister in Chains ~Tombstone
Lordarcadian ~UnBooks:My Day at the Zoo
Sockpuppet of an unregistered user ~Brown Moses
Thekillerfroggy ~Major urinary proteins
Shabidoo ~HowTo:Cast a voodoo death curse using bones from someone you killed
Mrthejazz ~Beige
Lyrithya ~Pursuit of happiness

  1. happymonkey39
  2. MsuCarencro (Title: Pointy Sticks)


  1. Aleister in Chains (Title: Tombstone)
  2. Lordarcadian (Title: UnBooks:My Day at the Zoo)


  1. Sockpuppet of an unregistered user
  2. Thekillerfroggy. As long as this is a 24 hour thing.


1. Shabidoo . topic: HowTo:Cast_a_voodoo_death_curse_using_bones_from_someone_you_killed i did a huge edit cutting the thing in half but its on a computer i cant copy anything too. verry lame but ill add it tomorrow to show i did my best. there are so many better articles anyways. was fun....thanks guys. Pointy sticks is super helarious by the way.
Not disqualified... just less points. Happytimes
2. Mrthejazz signed up on the talk page too (title:Beige)


  2. Happytimes

Just tell us when to officially trade article names

Okay then? Okay. It's Mrthejazz... a case not yet solved. 01:55, August 3, 2010 (UTC)

Post "Go" under here. GO, trade names


This article is part of Happymonkey's August 2010 Writing Contest! Please refrain from editing.


Do we need templates?--M'su Carencro - Talk - Contributions - Blag

it comes in handy, thanks. --Happymonkey39 LAZARWeegeeheadbobinDomo kun dance1 Dah Meme Master 02:37, August 3, 2010 (UTC)


Due to me having a life, i would not be able to atend my own contest. But again, my contest, i make the rules. So i have expanded the time limit to a full 24 hours. ALl other rules still aply.

WE ARE SORRY FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE...which doesn't make sense since you now get more time... --Happymonkey39 LAZARWeegeeheadbobinDomo kun dance1 Dah Meme Master 01:23, August 3, 2010 (UTC)


A Happymonkey sponsored "contest" tonight, at 2:00 UTC, 10 p.m. eastern United States time, for an hour and fifteen minutes. Here's the announcement I've been pasting around, but maybe a forum would get the data out faster. Basically we will pair off and each member of the pair will give the other an exact title of an article at one minute to the start of the event. HELPME and who knows who else will do some judging, but I don't know what they'll judge. They can figure that part out. So it's basically a writing contest like Dr.Skullthumper's only you get an exact title just as the "game" kicks off. Pass the word, maybe Chronium or stillwaters will show up. Aleister 20:55 2 8

Contest today, August 2nd (U.S. time) or 3rd (civilized world time)

Happymonkey called for a writing contest which will start at 2:00 UTC (10 p.m. eastern time in the United States and other weird countries). Contestents will give each other an exact name of an article at app. 9:59 eastern time, and then we will write until 11:15 (3:15 UTC). We need at least one judge who will look at all the articles, say nay, or yay, or something, and tell us whatever they want to. Please sign up on Happymonkeys talk page, as participant or judge(s), and then we can pair people up around 9:30 eastern and let them know who they will give their page title to. (Inspired by DrSkullthumper's contest of a month or so ago). Aleister 16:05 2 8

10pm eastern is 3am in the UK and around similar times in the rest of Europe, I wholly object to this time although it's probably a bit late now, just bear it in mind for next time eh? -- Prof. Olipro Icons-flag-gb KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 00:00, August 3, 2010 (UTC)
I know this isn't a European friendly event. This started out by Happymonkey challenging me to a contest, we set it up, then he canceled at the last minute because he had to talk to a girl. How gay. So he set this one up next, and we decided to let other people know about it and join in. Aleister 00:03 3 8
Can't we change it to 1:00 UTC? Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 00:08, 3 August 2010
That leaves us only three minutes for new contestants!--M'su Carencro - Talk - Contributions - Blag

Do we discuss here?

If we are, then how and when do we assign articles and stuff? Who are the judges and participants?--M'su Carencro - Talk - Contributions - Blag

A little after 1:30 (UIC) one of us will give you a name of someone. Then at 1 minute to the start of the contest you put the exact title of the article on that user's talk page. Then you will get one too on your talk page. HELPME is going to judge, but I don't know what he's judging. Several people had said they were going to do this earlier, and people should sign up for the event on Happymonkeys talk page. Aleister 23:32 2 8
Do I think of the article, or is it assigned?--M'su Carencro - Talk - Contributions - Blag
You make up the name of an article for someone else. Then put it on their talk page one minute before the start. Another contestent will have your name, and put an exact title on your talk page. Happymonkey has gone away, leaving this to us to organize, and I hope he comes back to play. But people are signing up on his talk page already. Al 23:38 2 8

So why wasn't this forum linked in the announcement?

... you non-linking heathens!   Happytimes Judgment is  HERE!  Happytimes.gif (talk)  ~ Xkey280 ~  03 Aug 2010 ~ 01:12 (UTC)

Blame Al, not me. Silly Alerister, not adding links to announcements. Shame.--M'su Carencro - Talk - Contributions - Blag 01:13, August 3, 2010 (UTC)
The forum came a long time after some announcements were moving around. Where's Happymonkey? Last time he canceled the contest because he was talking to a girl. Gay. Al 1:16 3 8
When you are his age talking to a warm-fuzzykins type-style interest is EVERYTHING! (So just keep that in mind.) We can do this without him ya know.  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  03 Aug 2010 ~ 01:19 (UTC)
I know. We have a few people now, and whoever comes late can get an article name from one of the judges. Al 1:21 3 8

I just got a message from Happymonkey. We'll have to go it without him. A girl? I hope so. Anyway, what we should do is assign people to each other at about :45 after this hour. Then they will give the other in their pair an article title at one minute to the hour, then we begin. Sound OK to everyone? Al 1:24 3 8

Silly monkey, probably having sex now...sorry for my crudeness.--M'su Carencro - Talk - Contributions - Blag

If he's having sex he should be done in a minute. So it must be something else. So is this 24 hours now? Has the contest shifted. I guess. So we will still give each other exact names. Let's pair up in about 12 minutes. Aleister 1:33 3 8

Nah she's on vacation, she needed a break from me giving her too many ongoing orgasms....and again, it's still on, it's just a 24 hour thing --Happymonkey39 LAZARWeegeeheadbobinDomo kun dance1 Dah Meme Master 01:35, August 3, 2010 (UTC)

If we did it

By sign up time it would be like this:

  1. M'su Carencro - Talk - Contributions - Blag
  2. Aleister
  3. User:Lordarcadian
  4. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM
  5. User:Shabidoo
  6. Happymonkey39 LAZARWeegeeheadbobinDomo kun dance1 Dah Meme Master
  7. User:Mrthejazz
  8.  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  03 Aug 2010 ~ 01:54 (UTC)

I like not being invited to your party

Dicks. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 01:56, August 3, 2010 (UTC)

What, everyone's invited and encouraged. It's a 24 hour contest now, so jump aboard! Al 2:00 3 8
Maybe. I usually invite myself to parties anyway. May find a party on Facebook and invite myself, now. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 02:08, August 3, 2010 (UTC)

Does everyone have an article title? If not, put your name below]

Who needs an article title?

  1. ME! I need to know who I'm paired with! Do we help each other or something?--M'su Carencro - Talk - Contributions - Blag
You're paired with Happymonkey, who is off having sex someplace. Give him a title on his talk page, and if he doesn't give you one soon ask someone to do so. Aleister 2:10 3 8
eh im back. Condom broke. Ima write your article name on your talk, sorry bout that--Happymonkey39 LAZARWeegeeheadbobinDomo kun dance1 Dah Meme Master 02:12, August 3, 2010 (UTC)

I'm sorry

I dozed off a little early. That being said, I'm going to sleep for real now. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 02:35, 3 August 2010

180px-Symbol apathy vote.svg Meh. at least give your topic over, eh?!? (to this guy Thekillerfroggy)  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  03 Aug 2010 ~ 02:37 (UTC)
I just completely forgot about the thing entirely... whooo, go me. At least you bothered to show up at all. *lurches away* ~ Lyrithya sig daji Apheori *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20100803 - 03:05 (UTC)

Sign up now! You still got a lot of time!--M'su Carencro - Talk - Contributions - Blag

I would...

If I didn't just get off work and since I have to go back in about 5 hours... Sorry gents, maybe some other time. -- Sf13 Upsilonsigmasigmacrest 23:21 EST 2 Aug, 2010

What if we gave you a really easy title? Something like: "A simple abstract of Indo-European art through the fifth and sixth centuries: a study of Ukrainian leaning temple drawings."  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  03 Aug 2010 ~ 03:25 (UTC)
That's too simple dude. More along the lines of The study of remaining fossils that have had decomposed contaminated cells that were formed when ectoplasmic reticulum were sparsely used among Indian tribes to sell sea shells by the sea shore and scamming their friends the republican British that at that time inhabited the Nile which was actually a giant volcano that was formed when ash's were actually bits of diamond and the remaining amount of burnt flesh from the people burnt for the plague and when vikings rolled amongst the not-so-empty deserted dessert filled with dessert delights...or just Spartan Kick. --Happymonkey39 LAZARWeegeeheadbobinDomo kun dance1 Dah Meme Master 03:32, August 3, 2010 (UTC)
EVERY time someone writes that first one it get's huffed.  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  03 Aug 2010 ~ 03:50 (UTC)
With a title that simple? really? --Happymonkey39 LAZARWeegeeheadbobinDomo kun dance1 Dah Meme Master 04:25, August 3, 2010 (UTC)
Yep.  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  03 Aug 2010 ~ 04:59 (UTC)


When am I judging?--HM (T) 03:35, August 3, 2010 (UTC)

After the deadline, or when everybody's done.--M'su Carencro - Talk - Contributions - Blag

Guess what?

I have a su-prize for all y'all!  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  03 Aug 2010 ~ 07:17 (UTC)

Is it a trophy, cause i was gonna make one...eventually. --Happymonkey39 LAZARWeegeeheadbobinDomo kun dance1 Dah Meme Master 01:02, August 4, 2010 (UTC)
Nope! It was the article I wroted for all of you to showcase your work through links!  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  04 Aug 2010 ~ 05:02 (UTC)

How much longer is this?

I haven't started yet and am too terrible with timezones to figure it out. ~ Lyrithya sig daji Apheori *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20100803 - 23:22 (UTC)

  1. You've got about an hour and fifteen minutes since the contest started.
  2. You've got 24 hours since the timestamp of your topic was posted on your talk page.
Pick one of the above.  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  04 Aug 2010 ~ 00:49 (UTC)
Ow... my brain... ~ Lyrithya sig daji Apheori *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20100804 - 01:20 (UTC)

I fail

Well i won't even be able to finish my own contest, so good luck to everyone else. You can still judge mine, it ain't close to being done though. --Happymonkey39 LAZARWeegeeheadbobinDomo kun dance1 Dah Meme Master 01:03, August 4, 2010 (UTC)

What, again? Now, really... ~ Lyrithya sig daji Apheori *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20100804 - 01:23 (UTC)
... really now, again? What!  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  04 Aug 2010 ~ 01:25 (UTC)
Yes. ~ Lyrithya sig daji Apheori *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20100804 - 01:38 (UTC)
...wait what? I mean i can't finish my article. --Happymonkey39 LAZARWeegeeheadbobinDomo kun dance1 Dah Meme Master 01:42, August 4, 2010 (UTC)

Times up!

Ok guys, keyboards down, moniters off, whatever you say, and judges you can vote fore each below. (I'll set something up for ya)--Happymonkey39 LAZARWeegeeheadbobinDomo kun dance1 Dah Meme Master 02:03, August 4, 2010 (UTC)

NEVAH! *flails and throws a yak* ~ Lyrithya sig daji Apheori *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20100804 - 02:35 (UTC)
...ah-ah-ah. Caribou not yak, I'm Canadian remember? --Happymonkey39 LAZARWeegeeheadbobinDomo kun dance1 Dah Meme Master 02:40, August 4, 2010 (UTC)
*kills a caribou* ~ Lyrithya sig daji Apheori *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20100804 - 02:58 (UTC)
That was a moose --Happymonkey39 LAZARWeegeeheadbobinDomo kun dance1 Dah Meme Master 04:43, August 4, 2010 (UTC)
Well, hmph. Getting all huffity on us, now, are we? *loads a muskox into a catapult and flings it into the void* I win. ~ Lyrithya sig daji Apheori *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20100804 - 05:24 (UTC)
That was your mother...--Happymonkey39 LAZARWeegeeheadbobinDomo kun dance1 Dah Meme Master 14:22, August 4, 2010 (UTC)
Please leave my mother out of this. ~ Lyrithya sig daji Apheori *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20100804 - 14:48 (UTC)
Well you just chucked her into a catapult...--Happymonkey39 LAZARWeegeeheadbobinDomo kun dance1 Dah Meme Master 14:56, August 4, 2010 (UTC)
That would be rather difficult, seeing as that she's dead. Now enough of this presumption. ~ Lyrithya sig daji Apheori *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20100804 - 15:39 (UTC)
ow...well sorry. But seriously that wasn't a muskox it was my sister in i forgive you. --Happymonkey39 LAZARWeegeeheadbobinDomo kun dance1 Dah Meme Master 17:16, August 4, 2010 (UTC)


Moment of truth, this area will be monitered so noone else can touch it or ill get someone to ban you.


HowTo:Protect Yourself From Unpleasant Giant Piranhas

Humour: 5 Nothing was incredibly laughable here. The best part was decent, and the rest was just "eh". I didn't like the bit about the monkey. It seemed pointless. I also didn't like how you drifted between first and third person tone. Try not to do that. There was also namedropping, such as referring to Super Mario Sunshine.
Concept: 4 Not really taken to its full potential, but OK concept. It's so short! It needs more length.
Prose and formatting: 2 Quite frankly, your grammar is quite bad. Please, please don't pluralize words with apostrophes. There is a difference between "your" and "you're". Names should always be capitalized. Your tone isn't wonderful, either. Etc. That introduction paragraph is really big, and some of your others are too small, which makes it look a tiny bit messy.
Images: 5 The image with the piranha and the ship wasn't photoshopped very well. The others were fine, but not particularly funny.
Miscellaneous: 4 Overall score.
Final Score: 20 This is obviously not finished. Well, it needs a lot of work. Not a winner of the contest in my view.
Reviewer: --HM (T) 03:33, August 4, 2010 (UTC)

Hate to interrupt here, but I counted three pictures. --Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 03:35, August 4, 2010 (UTC)
the site is slow tonight they come in sometimes and sometimes they don't   The* Lordarcadiansig (say shit) (My train wrecks) Π   ~  03:39, August 4, 2010 (UTC)
Oh, I didn't even see them. They're not loading. Also, sonny, your sig is too long.--HM (T) 03:42, August 4, 2010 (UTC)

What would make you think it isn't finished? The fact that it's clearly junk and wasn't read over or that i said a few sections above that i was a failure being unable to finish my own contest -_-". --Happymonkey39 LAZARWeegeeheadbobinDomo kun dance1 Dah Meme Master 04:41, August 4, 2010 (UTC) And you don't see the hidden humor with the monkey?...if you do can you tell me, cause i don't either, i threw it in there hoping for irony, but i guess it didn't work --Happymonkey39 LAZARWeegeeheadbobinDomo kun dance1 Dah Meme Master 04:48, August 4, 2010 (UTC)

Pointy Sticks

Humour: 7 Surprisingly interesting and clever piece, with a few laughable bits. There were a couple of namedroppy bits (Such as the link to weasel words) that I didn't particularly like, but it was a fairly decent and funny article overall.
Concept: 7 First: I am so proud of you for not taking the "Pointy sticks=penises" sexual innuendo angle! :) You have a clever concept and a good execution.
Prose and formatting: 8 This page does look very pretty. The font is good for eye candy. I must reduct some points because of some questionable (at best) grammar scattered throughout the article. I didn't find any specific patterns of bad grammar or awkward tone, so you should try to read it out loud and re-read it to catch and fix issues.
Images: 6 I liked your first image, and the second one was fine. Then it got a bit repetitive. Many of your images seemed to have the same basic theme: Scorning those who misuse the pointy sticks. I think a couple more in the same vein as the second would be nice, but you should keep what you have already.
Miscellaneous: 7.5 Overall.
Final Score: 35.5 A charming and fun article overall; it just needs a bit of polish to be the best it can be.
Reviewer: --HM (T) 03:56, August 4, 2010 (UTC)


Humour: 6 Overall, this was pretty good. I disliked your mentions of in-jokes (Such as Mr. Winkler), which brought your score down a bit. The beginning could also be a bit more subtle.
Concept: 6 Your concept seems to drift a bit- it didn't keep an angle as well a Msu's did. More than one concept isn't necessarily that bad, but I think you had more angles than necessary. Just my opinion.
Prose and formatting: 6 I caught some grammar and spelling errors in there- I can whack those for you if you need. I also felt you had some unnecessary bolding. I think they made the page less pretty. Also, a couple of your paragraphs need to be shortened.
Images: 7 Your images were pretty, and the captions were decent enough. I still dislike the Mr. Winkler one.
Miscellaneous: 7 Overall.
Final Score: 32 A decent article overall- it needs some fine-tuning and some editing. A Pee Review would be a good idea.
Reviewer: --HM (T) 04:41, August 4, 2010 (UTC)

UnBooks:My Day at the Zoo

Humour: 7 Overall, this article was clever, subtle, and funny. The weakest point would have to be the last line- it practically blew the subtlety. I think that should go.
Concept: 6 The child's perspective of a horrible event is funny, but it has been used many times (Just ask Orian57). You executed a slightly overused concept quite well.
Prose and formatting: 5 So, this was the weakest part. First, I saw a few grammar errors around. ALWAYS CAPITALIZE "I"! But, a bigger issue was formatting. First, the title page looks crammed together and narrow. Second, the text on the "lion" page is cut off- this is either missed potential or a bizarre mistake.
Images: 6.9 Well, this is tough to score. The whole thing is images, so the scoring and comments about the images are above.
Miscellaneous: 7 My overall score.
Final Score: 31.9 Overall, an entertaining and humorous article that kept me interested throughout.
Reviewer: --HM (T) 06:41, August 4, 2010 (UTC)

Brown Moses

Humour: 6.5 First point: You have to admit, this is a bit short. But you didn't have much time to write it, so that's OK. I'm giving you a 6 for the twist in the concept that made me smile, and the irony of the other sections gets an extra .5, but it still feels inadequate. It's probably due to its overall tininess.
Concept: 7 The concept makes the article and provides a good twist, like Article not about Beyonce. However, that article is longer, so the irony and twists provide more overall humor.
Prose and formatting: 8 Pretty much perfect in terms of spelling and grammar. Two other issues are here, though. 1. The paragraphs are quite short. 2. The template and image together make me see those [edit] everywhere, which looks kinda ugly.
Images: 4.39 Relatively funny image with a good caption, but there's only one.
Miscellaneous: 6 Down a bit.
Final Score: 31.89 What you have is good, but it could use lengthening.
Reviewer: --HM (T) 03:03, August 6, 2010 (UTC)

Major urinary proteins

Humour: 4 The intro needs more humor. The next section picks up in humor, but it still needs more. It's also short, like Socky's article. It needs more development, as it isn't hilarious right now.
Concept: 5 You have a lot of potential here, but it's not quite taken advantage of. It needs expansion.
Prose and formatting: 8.5 Your grammar and spelling is up to standard, and your tone is good. Your paragraphs are a good size. However, without images, the article appears incomplete. The same goes for its small amount of content.
Images: 0 No images. Sad.
Miscellaneous: 4 Blah blah blah overall score blah blah.
Final Score: 21.5 This is obviously not finished, especially considering the WIP tag. What you have isn't bad, but you need more. Expansion.
Reviewer: --HM (T) 03:18, August 6, 2010 (UTC)

HowTo:Cast a voodoo death curse using bones from someone you killed

Humour: 5.5 What did I not like? A. The first-person tone. It seemed unnecessary. B. Insulting the reader is usually pretty unfunny. C. You refer to parts of the article in the article. D. "Using the bones of total strangers in a voodoo ceremony is like ass raping someone in prison with another guys penis" That kind of humor isn't very funny. Etc. Quite a bit of issues in the humor.
Concept: 6 Interesting concept, but the execution needs a bit of work.
Prose and formatting: 4 There were many spelling and grammar errors, which hurts your prose a lot. Read above about my opinions on your tone. You had so many sections and sub-sections that the whole thing looked a bit messy. Also, some of your paragraphs were really long. You might want to separate some of them.
Images: 6 The images and captions were probably the best part. You need at least one more for an article of this much length.
Miscellaneous: 5.4 I very rarely average things, but I think this expresses my opinion. And stuff.
Final Score: 26.9 Your humor and prose/formatting could use some serious work, but this could easily be quite a good article.
Reviewer: --HM (T) 03:44, August 6, 2010 (UTC)


Humour: 6 I like the style you took with this, but I think the text before the list of colors should be longer. That way, you can fit in some encyclopedia-style humor before the twist comes in.
Concept: 6 Interesting concept with an interesting handling of the subject. Not expected.
Prose and formatting: 4 I found grammar and spelling errors. Those kill me inside. (You didn't put punctuation at the end of your list! Tch!) However, the main issue I had was with your formatting. Number one, there are no links. Number two, putting that image at the very bottom irritated me a bit. Finally, all of the stuff at the bottom (The footnotes, the contest template, and the image) makes it look a bit cluttered.
Images: 7 Quite clever and funny- I liked your images the most.
Miscellaneous: 6 Overall, this is how good I think this is.
Final Score: 29 What this needs is expansion, formatting fixes, and some little stuff.
Reviewer: --HM (T) 04:24, August 6, 2010 (UTC)

Pursuit of happiness

Humour: 7 Clever, witty, and fun. It's a bit long-winded, but hat's alright, I suppose.
Concept: 7 I like the angle you took here. It was unexpected.
Prose and formatting: 6 A couple of problems here. The spelling, grammar, and tone are fine. The paragraphs, though...well, a few of them are huge. Also, considering the length of the article, you could use another image or two.
Images: 7 They were clever, but not particularly great. I think one or two more images would really help advance your concept. I'd like a few more that really catch my eye while equipped with humorous captions.
Miscellaneous: 7 Overall...
Final Score: 34 A very clever and subtle article that needs only a bit of polishing. Perhaps a Pee would help. Anyway, this is a close second for this contest. Good job.
Reviewer: --HM (T) 04:37, August 6, 2010 (UTC)

Important note: On my scale, 5 is average.


First place: Msu Carencro's Pointy Sticks

Second place: Lyrithya's Pursuit of Happiness

Third place: Aleister's Tombstone

Honorable mention: Lordarcadian's UnBooks:My Day at the Zoo

Great job, everyone! :) I enjoyed reading and judging. The rankings were hard to give out.--HM (T) 04:42, August 6, 2010 (UTC)


People/Places Humor[1] Concept? Best wordage Images Best links Weakest link Most juvenile[2]
HowTo:Protect Yourself From Unpleasant Giant Piranhas


2nd funniest unfinished.
i'm not sure the concept (title) works if the subject is supposed to defend themselves from their own hallucination. "All of a sudden, AN UNPLEASANT GIANT PIRANHA jumps out of the water and eats your monkey!" 1st = good. "pimp plant" image doesn't seem to fit, but with better caption = ok. the "OMFG" made me laugh & laugh. (amazon) but links would be better if the article exists.
A lot of red links.
That this is not finished /copy-edited /proofed (minus points). "... your pet monkey bob isn't hurling his poo at you like usual!"
Suddenly! Piranha's! i can't identify with your choice of naval vessels; i would never go into the ocean in a sail boat let alone with my pet monkey (everyone knows sail boats match better with lemurs anyway, but a monkey works for you so don't change it.) This needs a lot of work, or to be completed or something. sucks to be you, now you have to edit this. very funny otherwise, a finished article would have rated much higher (after the copy-edited/proofed (minus points) of course.
Suggestion: learn the difference between "your" & "you're" before I beat you to death with "your" grammar mistakes (plus points(for me.)).
Pointy Sticks


2nd funniest
Dead on and straight to the point!
Of course PS's are instruments of war music.
"It seemed to some <ref>It seemed to me, but no one I know shares my opinion." 3 out of 5 = excellent. END was good.
"outdoors" photo = better if he had a pointy stick. (Maybe have an alt photo chopped?) Captions = great.
(moonshine) because all of your other links were pretty straight forward. (No bonus points.) The Modern Times section needs more development. The tie in between pre-historic and post-historic seems forced; more on transitions. "Billy-Bobby Samson."
Pointy sticks not compared to unicorns (minus points). Pointy Sticks not compared to light-sabers in this context (plus points). It seems a small cleanup of grammar and transitions to make your points sharper will make this ready for show. The footnotes were very good and at times hilarious; [5] had my laughing for a least minute or two.
Suggestion: expand banging of sticks to include: twanging, thunking, and bouncing.
Aleister in Chains


2nd funniest
Love the idea of "could visit that rock from time to time" & "difficult to move" & "indicate where they had dumped loved one" etc. "Most people move under these rocks after they get some sick." & "...ultimate pet rocks." (2 out of 4) Most captions could use work. (angels)
(a good time)
(sweat dancing on a warm summer's night)
Witches & Tombstones: this section needs to be buried (or possibly resurrected with a re-write.) Tombstone abuse Youtube video.
The "Among the more popular traditional euphemsims for tombstones are..." section was very clever, fresh; liked it a lot. This funny article will please the proletariat and the geometry-savvy alike. more to follow... Sorry about that... it would have been about stuff &... stuff (Well known tombstones section also good.)
UnBooks:My Day at the Zoo

Very, very, very good. (But where did his family go?) "Segregation is wrong they should all get along." (100%) I've seen most of these pics before, however all are perfect for the article! (Favorites: Dad with paint/Author.) N/A
(You should link each set of pages to another related article, maybe?)
Still needs some minor grammar/copy editing. "Lion" page looks like it is missing end text. Giraffe fornication.
Very funny article, but this image based format makes it hard to plagiarize (negative points). Suggestion: Rather than force the reader to printout and scan the images into a text-based converter, just add the text on each image page so that a determined Uncyclopedier can simply move from page to page and copy/paste. (This will save them hours of time and it's more fair to less moneyed users as well... unless you're racist, then don't change a thing.[3])
Suggestion: I'd put the monkey page before the lion page as monkeys imitate, and when Stephan "helped" the man over the fence it was as if he was imitating his dad "help" his mom earlier. (This type of literary thing is called foreshadowing.)
Also, make the very last sentence slightly smaller than the "About the author" line.

Sockpuppet of an unregistered user
Brown Moses

FTSTA: No Change
Would like to see the later parts of the article developed more.

Excellent Wikipedia tie-in/spork.
"He would later profit greatly from his non-prophet businesses."

"Their names don't really matter though."
Great image; caption fell a little flat. (brown) & (slave) Too short/not developed enough. The "slave" and "brown" captions.
This was very short. The footnotes were very good/well implemented. The American Revolution part should be more patriotic (minus points). The Abolitionist part fits nicely within modern norms and values (plus points). The material here is enough to have a lasting article but I fear the brevity of it may cause it's demise if it ever went up for VFD, please consider fleshing[4] it out a bit.
Major urinary proteins

FTSTA: No Change

Funniest unfinished.
Brilliant! "...united only in their loneliness and skill at fantasy card games. " N/A N/A Lack of links & images hurts the most. "the legendary annals of total loserdom ..., who still totally suck."
"Major urinary proteins, despite their misleading names, are unimportant losers." Set the tone very nicely, the rest of the article flowed smoothly from there out. Ironically you get both plus & minus points for no mention of Erykah Badu. I don't think you'd have to add a whole lot for this to be finished and I encourage it; links, 1-3 pictures, -- a footnote or two and possibly one more section?
HowTo:Cast a voodoo death curse using bones from someone you killed


Best in show.[5]

Solid concept; but the steps need to be fleshed out a bit. "We all dream about murdering people sometimes." &
"Whaling on the guy until he stops resisting is super fun and will make you feel really good about yourself."
The first caption is confusing as the in-article reveal is too far down the page, move it down and get a replacement pic as the others work great where they are, or change the caption entirely. N/A The "fat black woman" concept and usage is underdeveloped. The article needs a better introduction/explanation earlier in the article. "...and making the face of a horrified prison ass rape victim, ...."
Uncyclopedia should be capitalized at all times (minus points). Good use of short "Kill someone in advance." / "Man it up." and long "Voodoo is a cool and complex dark blooded fucked up magic art form which can be easily mastered in little time if you do it with the right attitude and for the right reasons." grammatically correct sentences (plus points). Quite a few minorly grammatically incorrect sentences and use of comma failures (minus points). "Are you a man or an ass raped prison bitch?" & "...about the length of your penis." leads me to believe you think guides are only for males and are thus sexist (minus points); however, murdering of ex womany-type lovers is a typical male-oriented pastime and this leads me to think your writing-style is in a voice for your audience (plus points).
Suggestions: You should change "douche new boyfriend" to "douchey new boyfriend" as douchey connotates ongoingness (and "douche" would be overused in the article otherwise). Change the Tips to footnotes[6]. Add some links for goodness sake!

Blandily talking on a tough subject superbly. (Wait, what color is beige?)

Excellent Wikipedia tie-in/spork.
"When looking at the color beige, one can definitely detect both a subtle whiteness as well as a "lack of whiteness."" Superior captions! Good use of pics to bring the nature of the subject to life (ironic, huh?). N/A Not enough funny color names; add about 4 to 7 in the latter half of the list. Hooker's green
Too listy (minus points). OMfG!! listy (double-plus points). Some hilarious color names (plus points). Add some links for goodness sake! and make them all beige. (Warning: adding links to all of the colors takes a very LONG time.) Added your word construct as a link from one of my articles (plus points).
Pursuit of happiness

FTSTA: No Change
Brilliant! Great use of topic. "Supposing, somehow, a person does manage to find their one true love, there is over a 50% chance that said true love will be suffering from some form of STD." & "simulacrous" Made your own images there I see.[7] (2nd one- hilarious; maybe a better caption.) (the act)
(those involved)

this deadpan text could really use some funny/ironic linking.
The end was a major downer, especially for a humor site. "...a crazy statue of a skunk defecating on a wall..."
2nd place best wordage: "Most of those involved learn to embrace this parasite, even cherish and adore it, naming it, making silly faces at it, documenting its every action as it grows and matures." The Chocolate section, had a Haiku quality, about it (plus points?). I laughed & chuckled more on this article than any other, but there were several places where it was to "encyclopedic" and flat without humor. Great footnotes. Plus points for not wiki-linking this, minus points for not wiki-linking this.
People/Places Humor Concept? Best wordage Images Best links Weakest link Most juvenile

Read HowTo:Judge a contest at the last minute while you wait. (And I make my second impressions, & scoring.)

  1. FTSTA = Funnier the second time around. Note: Normally this is an indicator of the staying power of an article but the three items which dropped were due to familiarity with subject.
  2. The Most juvenile category captures your most immature statement/sentiment of the article. However, I mostly find these to be humorous and would hate to see them go most of the time.
  3. Just kidding.
  4. Pun intended.
  5. Most funny per word count.
  6. Like this.
  7. Bonus points.

Biggest laughs second go 'round:
  • "When she wasn't beating him with a rolling pin in a traumatizing yet comical way."
  • "One of the best known tombstones is a round one that Jesus was trapped behind after he got some sick."
  • "Segregation is wrong they should all get along."
  • "We all dream about murdering people sometimes."
  • "The inevitable disillusionment settles in, be it in the form of adulthood, a hangover, or a bottle falling out of an aeroplane and hitting the village Elder on the skull, sending him into bouts of delirium, unsettling the village peace, and utterly destroying the community"


So I think I've put this off for so long because it's hard to judge the different articles when they are all so good. Each of these could be features if finished and polished up. I think adding the scores of HELPME and I is not a good idea because we are using vastly different scoring systems-- his based loosely on the PEE review standards, and mine being fairly arbitrary & made up (Points divided between: Concept / Images / Links / Weakpoint / Notes / Funny Level / Closest to being finished.) For the official contest results I am comfortable with the order that he has picked primarily due to my skewed sense of humor clouding my arrangement below. (Otherwise I see no reason not to hand out two sets of awards to confuse people thoroughly.)

I appreciate you being patient with me and I look forward to future contests (of which I will either participate or provide feedback in, but not judge-- unless I can hammer out the above style and pre-communicate it to the contestants).

I think I'm a betterer arbiter and arranger than I am a judger.

If you have any questions or want additional feedback in conversation form just let me know as I do have additional thoughts on each article.

(I can't wait to read the current versions of all of these now! Next week will be great for me!)

GOLD: Aleister's Tombstone

SILVER: Lyrithya's Pursuit of Happiness

BRONZE: Msu Carencro's Pointy Sticks

DIAMOND: Shabidoo's HowTo:Cast a voodoo death curse using bones from someone you killed

LUCRATIVE SPORTS ADVERTISING CAMPAIGN mentions: Mrthejazz's Beige & Lordarcadian's UnBooks:My Day at the Zoo.

CREATIVE ACCOUNTING mention: Happymonkey39 Thank you for the best contest ever!  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  03 Sep 2010 ~ 06:53 (UTC)

You know, if you did add our scoring and use mathematical functions (1 point for bronze, 2 for silver, 3 for gold) for the rankings, the contest would have three winners. --HM (T) 07:13, September 3, 2010 (UTC)
Huzzah!!! (Three sets of awards then?)  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  03 Sep 2010 ~ 07:43 (UTC)


Thanks a lot happytimes for your review. Constructive criticism is a gift! And thanks for the challenging topic! Shabidoo 01:49, August 7, 2010 (UTC)

So was your page moved or removed?  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  07 Aug 2010 ~ 02:26 (UTC)
I asked to have it restored. (In my opinion this article is too good to be deleted.))  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  08 Aug 2010 ~ 01:19 (UTC)
Thanks guys you are really nice. I hated the article after reading one of the judges review, there was just nothing good said about it, just what was not liked, and I blanked it so I could rework it. I supose you have to be able to brush off stuff like that on uncyclopedia based on what Ive seen :) If you guys want to touch it up a bit I would be really thankful. It was my first work after all so do whatever you want with it and I will learn!!! I hope there is another competition soon.
Considering that article has been floating in my head for a while, I may take you up on it, but I really think that for your first article, you did really well, and in 24 hours no less. You really have nothing to feel bad about. People have written far worse articles in that time. An important thing that's said a lot around here is "assume good faith." When people here trash an article, assuming they aren't just dicking around, (which they sometimes are), usually they're just trying to be helpful. Myself, I actually seek out criticism from time to time, because that's how I know I can hulk my article out into a beast. Criticism is a good thing, but don't let it get to you where you feel like you have to utterly destroy a good idea. It's Mrthejazz... a case not yet solved. 04:46, August 9, 2010 (UTC)
Yeah, what ^ he said.  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  18 Aug 2010 ~ 09:23 (UTC)
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