Forum:Guess where this comes from:

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Forums: Index > BHOP > Guess where this comes from:
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Smiten

Try to guess where this inspiring text comes from, *** is one of humanities more creative an unpredictable dieties:

“You hear that in one of ***'s towns in your land, that some worthless infidel among you have led their fellow citizens astray by encouraging them to worship fake gods. First, examine the facts carefully. If it's true and can prove it, you must attack that town and murder absolutely everyone, as well as domestic animals. Then you must stack every object you can find into a pile and burn it. Set the entire town on fire as a sacrafice to ***. The town will always be a ruin, it may never be rebuilt. Let nothing of that town remain. Then *** will turn from his fierce anger and be merciful to you. He will have compassion on you and make you great”
~ *** on dealing with other people's opinions about stuff.

So evocative and soul stirring. So yeah...guess where it comes from: It wont be your first guess. --ShabiDOO 23:48, February 7, 2012 (UTC)

That's straight from the Declaration of Independence. Obviously. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 23:46, February 9, 2012 (UTC)
MadMax...it's not that old!!! --ShabiDOO 00:32, February 10, 2012 (UTC)
  • It comes from the book of Joshua in the Bible, and FYI, God got sick of sending babies to that pervert-fest of a city where people worshiped Baal by burning babies and virgins alive. The conversation at the Pearly Gates probably went like this:
St. Peter: "Welcome to Heaven."
Baby: "Didn't I just leave here about a month ago? Why am I back so soon?"
St. Peter: "Yeah, I know, you and the 50 souls behind you. Look, it's gonna take us a while to reassemble your body after what they did to you, so you're gonna need to wait over there for a bit."
Baby: "This reeks! When is God going to do something about those retards that I got stuck with for parents? How long before he levels the place? And are you seriously thinking of sending more babies there??? PLEASE tell me you're not!"
St. Peter: "Hey, I know you got a raw deal, but God promised everyone alive that they could choose to do as they wanted and would reap the consequences of their choices, so as long as they keep procreating, God has to keep his promise and send babies down there as much as he hates to do it. Besides, if you had been saved and allowed to grow up there, you would have become as horrible as the imbeciles that just BBQ'ed you, so be glad you didn't live. Anyway, there's only one more good person left in the city. When he dies, God is going to send the Israelites to wipe them out."
Baby: "Well as far as I am concerned, it can't happen soon enough after what those rejects did to me."
St. Peter: "You and everybody else waiting over there. I'll let God know what you said. Next."

Jonny appleseed 01:11, February 10, 2012 (UTC)

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ... nope ... that's not it ... no burning babies in this book. --ShabiDOO 01:12, February 10, 2012 (UTC)
Then I'm waiting with baited breath to discover the answer. Jonny appleseed 01:31, February 10, 2012 (UTC)
It's obviously from the Uncyclopedia article on cunt. Can't you see? It's right there in... uh... the middle, or something... --Tophat headless 13:08, February 10, 2012 (UTC)
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