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I'm an asshole who gets annoyed by a lot of little crap. I'm also really good at keeping that feeling of absolute animosity, that feeling that makes me subconsciously grind my teeth whenever I see something I don't like, inside of me. I'm very good at making myself get used to whatever it is that I find inconvenient, and then moving on with my life.

But this is something that I should probably address, considering my dentist took one look earlier today and was like "Jesus H. Christ. Whatever's making you grind your teeth... put a damn end to it." And then I got the bill. So maybe by saying this I can save $562.91 (I know for you British users that's like 14 pounds but I'm broke, so humor humour me).

Featured articles. There's no damn title anywhere. I know, for UnNews articles that get featuring, you'd have to rework the article to fit the title at the top because, normally, it isn't there. But maybe it's worth reworking the article to fit the title at the top because, normally, it isn't there and that means that, as a reader, I'm faced with the cream of the Uncyclopedia crop and there's no freakin' title. This is the story that should make readers be like "Hot damn, this is some funny stuff!" but instead it's making readers all like "What is this about?" and it isn't just UnNewses. Today's featured article is a HowTo. Awhile ago it was a "normal" article. Still no title (okay, the HowTo:Beat Shaq has a title showing... at the end of the first paragraph. Not cutting it. Teeth still grinding).

That website that we're making fun of, this Wikipedia thing. They've got a handle on this issue. Not only are their featured articles always titled, the title is always at the very beginning of the excerpt provided on the main page, and is even a link to the story itself. Not only am I able to tell exactly what I'm reading about as soon as I lay my eyes on this excerpt, I'm not even faced with that second of hesitation as I wonder how I can get to the rest of this apparently so-incredible-it-got-featured article; the link is, literally, the first thing I see.

Not the most important or pressing matter facing the realm of Uncyclopedia, I know. But I just wanted to make this post so that, when I go back for oral surgery, I can at least say I tried. ~ Humbuck Talk 03:23, 3 May 2011 (UTC)

Whiskey glass

This should help - Aleister 3:28

How's that? I was italic.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 03:39 May 03, 2011
Very good idea. --ShabiDOO 03:42, May 3, 2011 (UTC)
Bitch and you shall receive. Jackofspades (talk) 03:43, 3 May 2011
Another thing about the feature page, I remember when i was first here, i clicked on the pics, and it went directly to the file page for the pic. Is there any way to make it so clicking on the pic brings you to the article? or even the whole box? --ShabiDOO 04:07, May 3, 2011 (UTC)
Done. I think the whole box might be a bit much, but the picture now takes you to the article.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 04:20 May 03, 2011
My god that was lightening fast :)= rock and rooooooooooooool ! --ShabiDOO 04:29, May 3, 2011 (UTC)
Ahh, much better. ~ Humbuck Talk 23:44, 3 May 2011 (UTC)

Slightly less important issue

Can't we make the (more...) bit at the end automatic, similar to the title of the article appearing in the featured article header? And should it be capitalized and bolded? Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 08:03, 3 May 2011

I guess you could if you tried hard enough, but really, it's one link.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 09:26 May 03, 2011
Okay, i get what you mean by the whole box thing (cause otherwise the links in the first paragraphs of the article wouldnt show and I suppose thats a good thing. could always make it so every single image and word on the entire site links to the featured article of the day. Or would that be useful? The preceding unsigned comment was added by Shabidoo (talk • contribs)
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