Forum:Fantastic Uncyclopedia article!

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Forums: Index > Village Dump > Fantastic Uncyclopedia article!
Note: This topic has been unedited for 505 days. It is considered archived - the discussion is over. Do not add to unless it really needs a response.

From your article on Contradiction, http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Contradiction (follow the link):

There is currently no text in this page. Would you like to create Contradiction or Search for Contradiction in Uncyclopedia? If you just created this page, wait a few minutes and reload in case of database delay. It may also have been deleted.

Currently no text in this page? What a perfect example of contradiction! It should be featured! --203.28.159.170 13:46, 25 November 2006 (UTC)

It's already been done, unfortunately. See Misleading.--Procopius 14:26, 25 November 2006 (UTC)
Which would make its being featured deja vu. Which has probably already been featured...--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 21:05, 25 November 2006 (UTC)
Neither deja vu nor deja-vu look like suitable candidates for VFH right now, it seems. --User:Nintendorulez 21:36, 25 November 2006 (UTC)
For the last time, deja vu =/= redundancy!! --L 02:47, 26 November 2006 (UTC)
Neither deja vu nor deja-vu look like suitable candidates for VFH right now, it seems. --User:Nintendorulez 21:36, 25 November 2006 (UTC)
You're just doing this to annoy me. --L 02:47, 26 November 2006 (UTC)

But what, exactly, is deja vu?

In psychology, Deja vu (French for Deja vu) is the feeling that one has lived through something before.

Classic Symptoms of Deja Vu

  • Anxiety
  • Insomnia
  • The feeling that one has lived through something before
  • Sensitivity to repetitive themes
  • Profuse sweating
  • Loss of bladder control
  • Heart palpitations
  • The feeling that one has lived through something before
  • Chapped lips

Causes

The causes of Deja Vu are still widely unknown. In practice, there usually are two components: an element that is similar to an earlier experience encountered by the participant without being a major component of the earlier event, and a degree of strong emotion, including potentially psychosis, concerning the possiblity of the event. Thus, while seing a piece of bread wouldn't likely cause Deja Vu concerning a sandwich eaten five years ago, seing a woman wearing a red hat when you have a memory of trauma concerning red hats around the time when your family was murdered in front of you, you may recall your family being killed by a woman that looked like the hat wearer. Note that Deja Vu is not the same thing as being reminded of a past event; it is only Deja Vu when the current event never actually occurred in the past, but only seems like it had.The causes of Deja Vu are still widely unknown.

Deja vu is largely incurable, but typically doesn't interfere with one's life to any significant degree. In a Queenstown University study of twenty-six patients who had experienced Deja Vu in the past year, 54% considered it a "good experience", 22% considered it "thought provoking", and only 5% "wished it hadn't happened.". Another group, unaware of the previous two, is currently studying 54 patients at Camberra University in the exact same manner, and reporting "eerie results". Five months later, a small team at Kyoto Daigaku, in Kyoto independently conducted the same study with the same questions, and got remarkably similar data; only well after the fact did they encounter the original study. Another group, unaware of the previous two, is currently studying 54 patients at Camberra University in the exact same manner, and reporting "eerie results".

Prognosis

Sadly, in severe cases, the patient is often deranged beyond all hope of recovery. Sometimes the only appropriate response is to place the patient into a large cardboard box padded with styrofoam chips, tape securely, and send via FedEx to the following address:

The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500 

This will not really do anything helpful for the patient. However, it should amuse the national news outlets, give someone the feeling that one has lived through something before, and confuse the Department of Homeland Security for weeks on end.

Classic Symptoms of Deja Vu

  • Anxiety
  • Insomnia
  • The feeling that one has lived through something before
  • Sensitivity to repetitive themes
  • Profuse sweating
  • Loss of bladder control
  • Heart palpitations
  • The feeling that one has lived through something before
  • Chapped lips

Treatment options

Patients who experience Deja Vu typically do not wish to be treated; however, in the case that one does, there are usually a number of options. The deja vu "trigger" must be discovered; this is an element that is similar to an earlier experience encountered by the participant which reminded inaccurately of earlier events. The patient should be regularly exposed to the trigger, first in a predictable office setting after being warned, and then steadily less predictably after that. In severe cases, medications such as haldol and lithium can be prescribed to calm the patient and reduce any psychosis-related effects.

Occasionally, treatment of Deja vu can make the condition progressively worse. Close attention must be paid to ensure that the patient doesn't regress and become more easily triggered. The deja vu "trigger" must be discovered; this is an element that is similar to an earlier experience encountered by the participant which reminded inaccurately of earlier events. In such cases, treatment with medication is often the only solution; the patient should also be monitored for other potential psychological problems.

Causes

The causes of Deja Vu are still widely unknown. In practice, there usually are two components: an element that is similar to an earlier experience encountered by the participant without being a major component of the earlier event, and a degree of strong emotion, including potentially psychosis, concerning the possiblity of the event. In practice, there usually are two components: an element that is similar to an earlier experience encountered by the participant without being a major component of the earlier event, and a degree of strong emotion, including potentially psychosis, concerning the possiblity of the event.Thus, while seing a piece of bread wouldn't likely cause Deja Vu concerning a sandwich eaten five years ago, seing a woman wearing a red hat when you have a memory of trauma concerning red hats around the time when your family was murdered in front of you, you may recall your family being killed by a woman that looked like the hat wearer. Note that Deja Vu is not the same thing as being reminded of a past event; it is only Deja Vu when the current event never actually occurred in the past, but only seems like it had.

Deja vu is largely incurable, but typically doesn't interfere with one's life to any significant degree. In a Queenstown University study of twenty-six patients who had experienced Deja Vu in the past year, 54% considered it a "good experience", 22% considered it "thought provoking", and only 5% "wished it hadn't happened.". Another group, unaware of the previous two, is currently studying 54 patients at Camberra University in the exact same manner, and reporting "eerie results". Five months later, a small team at Kyoto Daigaku, in Kyoto independently conducted the same study with the same questions, and got remarkably similar data; only well after the fact did they encounter the original study. Another group, unaware of the previous two, is currently studying 54 patients at Camberra University in the exact same manner, and reporting "eerie results".

What, Exactly, Is Deja vu?

In psychology, Deja vu (French for Deja vu) is the feeling that one has lived through something before.

Further Research

As studies on Deja vu are nearly absent, it is recommended to interested applicants to apply to NIH for research grants on the subject. Of particular interest would be studies on whether or not patients who had experienced Deja Vu were disturbed by the experience. Such questions could include asking whether they "wished it hadn't happened", considered it a "good experience", or even "thought provoking".

Classic Symptoms of Deja Vu

  • Anxiety
  • Insomnia
  • The feeling that one has lived through something before
  • Sensitivity to repetitive themes
  • Profuse sweating
  • Loss of bladder control
  • Heart palpitations
  • The feeling that one has lived through something before
  • Chapped lips

See Also






I swear to god I've seen this before... --User:Nintendorulez 21:00, 26 November 2006 (UTC)

Personal tools
projects