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Hey all, What do I have to do to become an admin? Not begging or anything like that. Just so you lot can 'voodoo' send me in the right direction. User:Kjhf/sig 20:44, 3 January 2007 (UTC)

I've been searching for this secret for months now. Nothin'. I think you have to uncover their secret password. I'm guessing that "educated pie" is the answer. -- §. | WotM | PLS | T | C | A 21:16, 3 January 2007 (UTC)
If he isn't begging i am, :P joking, i am interested in the so called secret --Sir Silent Penguin Penguin foot "your site makes no sence" The illusion is complete 21:20, 3 January 2007 (UTC)
If that's not begging, I dunno what is. Seriously though, I'm curious as to what requirements there are for adminship. Some users seem like they'd do the job perfectly, and a select few admins seem to abuse their powers way too much. I won't name names here. Mainly because I don't know the name of whoever killed {{USERNAME}}. --User:Nintendorulez 21:45, 3 January 2007 (UTC)

*sits in a corner, crossing names off a list* --Algorithm 21:22, 3 January 2007 (UTC)

believe you have to put yourself up for this, unless this is no longer used, however i heard on the grapevine a while back they don't want any more admins.--Sir Silent Penguin Penguin foot "your site makes no sence" The illusion is complete 21:25, 3 January 2007 (UTC)

SP, it's on Meta. I doubt it was ever used seriously.
Also, becoming an admin is a bit like Fight Club--the first two rules are you do not talk about it. It's typically a long and involved ceremony involving five croquet mallets, some kinda frog-stink liquid, and an octogram. For me, though, they just gave me an oversized hammer and sent me off into the world. Quite explains things, doesn't it? —Sir Major Hinoa [TALK] [KUN] [21:31, 3 January 2007 (UTC)]
I fell into a pit. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 21:47, 3 January 2007 (UTC)
Meta was ever used? Let alone used seriously? --User:Nintendorulez 21:50, 3 January 2007 (UTC)

One day, I woke up, went to Uncyclopedia, and there was a "delete article" option at the top of the page. I decided it must be a glitch, and didn't touch it, for fear of being banned. Later that night, I asked if I'd been opped, and they said yes. So I said "cool" and went to bed. I still have no idea how it all happened.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 22:16, 3 January 2007 (UTC)

These days when we need new admins we'll start a Forum topic about it. People then nominate users who we believe can be trusted to use admin privileges responsibly, and the top couple vote-getters are opped. Ideally people are opped based on their quality control/maintenance work and dedication to the wiki, not writing talent (although many admins are also good writers). However, one thing that I think should be stressed and hasn't been is that most of the maintenance work that needs to be done here can be done by anybody, not just admins. We can delete pages and ban vandals, but anybody can nominate pages for deletion, fix formatting, do grammar/spelling work, etc., etc., which is what a lot of Uncyclopedia desperately needs. —rc (t) 22:19, 3 January 2007 (UTC)

Yeah I could have added my name to the list to be voted on. Since I've been around here for a long time, and am well known, it is possible I could have been voted as an admin. That is, if I had wanted to be an admin. All I wanted was a higher rank, I am not really sure why I wanted that. As an admin the rank usually becomes Major or something, so if I got voted in as an admin I'd be higher ranked than I am now. Ah heck, next time you people have votes for admin, I might just throw my name in the list and see who votes for me. After all, Todd Lyons left a void in Uncyclopedia's admin list that needs to be filled. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 04:34, 4 January 2007 (UTC)
Not just anybody can become an admin! -- Tinymooose.gif » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 05:11, 4 January 2007 (UTC)
Ah but I am qualified: Batshit Insane, anger management issues, too much time on my hands, certified asshole and also a certified badass as well. I even help revert articles that have been blanked and vandalized, and fix the formatting of poorly written articles so they look better. The only one better than me is Benson. :) --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 05:20, 4 January 2007 (UTC)
Wait, you're qualified? Yep, you definitely ain't admin material. -- Tinymooose.gif » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 05:24, 4 January 2007 (UTC)
Yeah a pity I won't become an admin, I'd fix most of the problems here. Block the vandals and blankers by subnet range instead of IP address so they cannot keep coming back, if any user or anon IP gives me shit, they are blocked for the principle of the thing. I'll even write funny block messages like "Come back when you grown a brain!" and "This is not LiveJournal, n00b, LOL!" and "This is not MySpace, take your vanity pages somewhere else!" --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 19:33, 4 January 2007 (UTC)

Rule number one for how to become an admin: NEVER ASK HOW TO BECOME AN ADMIN. Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 05:43, 4 January 2007 (UTC)

To be honest, I think your best bet is to just be as active as you can. Add stuff to QVFD, add {{ICU}}'s, join the reviewing/welcoming committee, post here at the dump, vote at the voting pages, talk at the IRC... you know, stuff to have everyone think of you when they think Uncyclopedians that are dedicated. Those are my tips. Oh, and don't ever ask how to become an admin. Sorry, man, but those are the breaks. (I am kidding, here).--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 12:55, 4 January 2007 (UTC)
Out of all the things Brad listed, I think IRC is probably the biggest factor. Sure, you can't just hang out on IRC all day doing nothing on the site and expect to get sysopped, but it's awfully hard to never visit IRC and expect to get sysopped as well. It's important that those sysopped are part of the Uncyclopedian community, and although we have forums and various talk pages on the site itself, IRC is your best bet. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 21:53, 5 January 2007 (UTC)

Cool thanks all. I will keep at it, and I won't ask any more questions :P. In fact, just forget I wrote this... :) And no that wasn't begging. Begging is: I WANT TO BE ADMIN!!! PLEASE!!!- and that's NOT what I will do. User:Kjhf/sig 16:09, 4 January 2007 (UTC)

Ask yourself if you really want to be an admin

Getting your +S isn't all magic and lollipops, it's a responsibility. If you get opped, you have to start answering to users and being careful about your actions. Also, odds are pretty good that you'll start spending all of your Uncyclopedia time doing bitch work and maintenance instead of reading and writing articles. To be admin material, you need to be level-headed, reasonable and somewhat friendly. The reputation that admins are mean, bitter, spiteful people is because being an admin is a bit of a soul-crushing experience; we all started out reasonable and nice (except Flammable). So, before you pursue adminship, consider the attrition/burnout rate for admins versus normal users and ask yourself if a +S and a few minor powers are really worth the extra work, bitterness and constant ire from regular users. --Sir gwax (talk) Signuke 18:18, 4 January 2007 (UTC)

Yes? User:Kjhf/sig 18:40, 4 January 2007 (UTC)

Answer these questions then. Are you a masochist? Do you enjoy dealing with the shit that the users put on you day after day? Do you like the users calling you names and accusing you of being in some sort of conspiracy? Can you make arguments that support your actions as an admin? Ready to join the dark side of the force and become a Sith? --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 19:20, 4 January 2007 (UTC)

As for me, I don't really think I'd want it as of now. Still, I have made a no doubt very, very convincing article concerning my evil plans for Uncyclopedia why I'd make the perfect candidate. Truly. What else could you possibly ask for? --The Divine Fluffalizer - [t m] 19:18, 5 January 2007 (UTC)

I'm not an admin here, but I am elsewhere and trust me, it SUCKS.

You do NOT want to be an Admin. It's not fun and games in the slightest bit. I have to deal with whiney people daily. --Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 19:18, 4 January 2007 (UTC)

I agree with CSM. Not only are the misunderstandings of users painful but disagreements among the admins about policies and site management can lead to very black blood indeed. I have never adminned here either but my other experience convinced me never to admin anywhere. Not unless serious money was involved, and that involvement included large payments into my bank account.----OEJ 21:55, 4 January 2007 (UTC)
Sounds good, though in lieu of money I might accept hot oil massages from one of out nice uncyclopediettes. But never again for free. ;) --Sir Todd GUN WotM MI UotM NotM MDA VFH AotM Bur. AlBur. CM NS PC (talk) 22:37, 5 January 2007 (UTC)
You get paid by helping people and feeling good about yourself. And then you balance that by killing stuff. User:Kjhf/sig 11:01, 6 January 2007 (UTC)

Need a new article in the Howto series

We really need HowTo: Be an Admin to be written to answer questions like this. Then just link to the article so they know what rituals and things they have to do and go through to become an admin. Also when to notice when they have burned out and need to quit. :) --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 19:29, 4 January 2007 (UTC)

I like the concept, but why don't we call it HowTo:Sell your soul to Chronarion instead? ^_^ —Sir Major Hinoa [TALK] [KUN] [19:33, 4 January 2007 (UTC)]
I was considering drafting up HowTo:Become an Admin earlier today, what a coincidence...
  1. Go to any admin's userpage.
  2. Hit the edit tab.
  3. Select everything in the box and delete it, then hit 'save page'.
  4. Repeat steps 2-3 on their talk page.
  5. Repeat steps 1-4 until you become sysopped.
  6. ???
  7. Profit!
--User:Nintendorulez 19:56, 4 January 2007 (UTC)

Nin has it spot on. Good show. --KATIE!! 20:01, 4 January 2007 (UTC)

How to Become an Admin (for real)

You can get your free adminship in return for

a) Money

b) Reffering freinds to Uncyc

The preceding unsigned comment was added by Rcmurphy (talk • contribs) (like you expected anyone else?)

If by "money" you mean "selling your soul," then yeah, that's about right. —Sir Major Hinoa [TALK] [KUN] [20:21, 4 January 2007 (UTC)]
How much is a soul worth in the Holy Market? --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 22:01, 4 January 2007 (UTC)
That's it Orion, you just made the Whore List; the desolate bowels of which you can never escape! --Anyone 22:15, 4 January 2007 (UTC)
I wasn't able to get any money for mine, but some nice guy traded me several shiny objects for it. I think his name was Stan or Santa or something. --User:Nintendorulez 22:19, 4 January 2007 (UTC)
We male whores like to be called pimps or gigolos, sometimes we are just called playas, playa. Don't hate the playa, hate the game. The rest of you are whores too, to your employers, SOs, friends, people on the street, and yes even Benson who controls almost everything here. The only difference between us and the rest of you, is that we playas are in control of what we whore and who we whore, while the rest of you are sockpuppet whores controlled by others. Most of you even whore for free, though won't admit to it anyway. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 04:12, 8 January 2007 (UTC)

+++++ would buy from again --satsifid customr 20:23, 4 January 2007 (UTC)

Damn I didn't know how many of you would reply to this! Anyway, I will try to answer each question in turn. Here we go:

  1. I want to move to prehaps become a lawyer. I LIKE arguing.
  2. I'm not evil. I'm so good, you will never, EVER change me.
  3. I rule over the whiney people and get them to change
  4. Love Money? = evil. I'm good, so don't require (Much) money.
  5. Don't make a page about HowTo: Become an admin, unless it's a completely ridiculus article.
  6. How can you have "Free admin" when you bribe them with money/your soul?

-Hope that's all. User:Kjhf/sig 17:38, 5 January 2007 (UTC)

Hmm. In response to #6, that's a good point. How can we call it free when we have to pay cash monies?! --Anyone 20:39, 5 January 2007 (UTC)

The key quality needed in admins is the ability to tell the difference between vanityshite and something with potential. One has to be able to sniff out the bits of humour buried in the crap, and deal with the resulting damage to your olfactory senses from sniffing poop all the time. One has to spot the differences between the misguided noob who really is funny on the inside, but doesn't know it yet, and the noob who will be back every few months to create Mhaille (content was: "is gay"). The amount of discretion involved is so great that really the only way to know if someone will be a good admin is to see them give it a go for a while (and to see if they can learn all the secret handshakes, winks, and codewords). Therefore: admin candidates are the ones who can tell which articles are NRV and which are QVFD; which users are "welcome and please stop that" and which are ban patrol material; and they're the ones who aren't looking for a resounding pat on the back for it, cause you're sure as hell not going to get that once you've been sysopped.

And now for something completely different: Carlow Crab. --KATIE!! 17:53, 5 January 2007 (UTC)

How is that completely different? God= admins. Pesants= n00bs. Also, I read the article before putting it into vote. Even if it's just one line; I search for the tiniest bit of hope and/or humour. User:Kjhf/sig 18:10, 5 January 2007 (UTC)
Close the internets, we have a winner! --User:Nintendorulez 19:42, 5 January 2007 (UTC)
What's that meant to be for? Seriously. User:Kjhf/sig 17:24, 8 January 2007 (UTC)
Err, that was directed toward Keitei. Could've sworn I used only one indent... *fixes* --User:Nintendorulez 20:39, 8 January 2007 (UTC)
Wait, it seems like I did originally use only one indent. Why was the second one added? --User:Nintendorulez 20:40, 8 January 2007 (UTC)
To keep it neat and in chronalogical order. Fix it if you wish. User:Kjhf/sig 21:29, 8 January 2007 (UTC)

Admin conflict

What is the appropriate solution for if you have a conflict with an admin? I.e., an admin comes along to a page that you've been maintaining for a long time, restores a bunch of unfunny content with atrocious grammar, and when you delete it, they re-restore the atrocious section and then protect the page? I.e., they randomly surfed into a page that they hadn't been involved in and forced a piece of garbage on it? For reference, here is the edit in question that they're using their powers to keep in.

Put simply, I've been here (Uncyc) longer than this admin, I've had more featured content than this admin, I've done more edits here than this admin, and, honestly, I don't appreciate someone who hasn't been involved with this article coming in and forcing trash on it. -- Rei 17:07, 7 May 2007 (UTC)

I think the thing to do here would be to talk to the admin on their talk page and explain that the addition was crap, and that you're not just trying to blank the section. That said, the admin maybe should have talked to your on your talk page too rather than protecting the page. A lot of admins will just revert a large removal of content without reading the actual content too closely. Spang talk 06:11, 07 May 2007
Actually... the point is that I *did* read the content, and it's not terribly bad despite lacking in some commas, full stops and so forth. Evidently I can smell another bout of drama brewing so I think the best thing to do is wait and see if the writer of the deleted text comes back for a bitch... I've got no intention of making a mountain out of a molehill. -- Prof. Olipro Icons-flag-gb KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 18:17, 7 May 2007 (UTC)
Regardless of so called Admin "powers" the key think here is that we are ALL looking to make Uncyclopedia a better place. Nobody, Admin or otherwise, gets everything right 100% of the time, so the best we can do is to try to make sure we don't take things too personally when things go wrong. The best way to deal with these things is to allow the people involved time to work out a way forward between themselves, whether they be an Admin or not. If that doesn't work, then we bring in Famine to ban all the unhappy people. Its a Win/Win situation. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
Protecting pages to decide revert wars in your favor is weak. —rc (t) 20:21, 7 May 2007 (UTC)
He's gone mad. Mad with power. He'll settle down soon, I hope. Boys will be boys and whatnot. Also, Rei, coming here before leaving a message on Oli's talkpage seems dopey to me; you should try to work it out together before bringing your gripe before the collective. --Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 23:25, 7 May 2007 (UTC)
I'd like to see the conflict resolved through some kind of Star Trek style fight sequence, with Olipro in the Kirk role, his yellow uniform torn from the battle, as he leaps from rock to rock to engage in hand to hand combat. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
I wager 50 quatloos on the newcomer. -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 11:44, 8 May 2007 (UTC)
Really? I'm seeing it more as two nerds in a slap-fight. --Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 23:53, 7 May 2007 (UTC)
He can't resist a bare-chested man leaking a bit of blood -- Prof. Olipro Icons-flag-gb KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 23:56, 7 May 2007 (UTC)
Um, that's jelly doughnut filling. --Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 15:21, 8 May 2007 (UTC)
Oh, great -- so I get the red shirt, eh?  :) -- Rei 05:56, 8 May 2007 (UTC)
Well, I did already point out my side. In fact, I pointed out my side in the very first RV comment. Also, there was a discussion on my talk page. Instead of responding to my post, Olipro protected the page and let that be the end of the discussion.
It's easy to say "just discuss it", but when one side holds all the cards and is wielding them to push their side ... -- Rei 05:44, 8 May 2007 (UTC)

First, you drop them a note on their talk page before fighting through three revert cycles with them. Ask them wtf is going on, and explain your position. Usually they'll be reasonable if you do that before the revert war. Secondly, you should flame them in an open forum for deciding what's best on a page you've spent ages maintaining. And lastly, you should phrase your flame in such a way that other admins call them weak. If you can do all that, you're bound to win. Bone_F_clear.png Sir Famine, Gun Petition » 05/7 21:45


Maybe it has something to do that "If you report a whole bunch of bad pages, the admins will get pixx0rd and give you sysop rights so you will not has to pixx them off ever again." --Sir General Minister G5 FIYC UPotM [Y] #21 F@H KUN 07:56, 12 May 2007 (UTC)

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