Forum:A Consitution for Utopia

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OKay, let's see if this works.

Fa while now I've been looking to find a way to reinstate this project, and the Wiki format seems to be the way to do it. Of course I'm putting it here because it isn't a serious project and there are more creative minds here than, say, in Canberra.

y, the idea is that proposals would be put up for sections or clauses in the Consitution and then they'd be voted on via something like the 'Featured Content' voting process. Items with no votes get dumped, items with more 'no' than 'yes' votes get dumped, the remainder stay. Of course I have no idea how to set this up as an UnProject or Forum or whatever, so those details I leave to the peons.

Who is with me?!

CaptLychee 02:45, April 20, 2010 (UTC)

Say what now? ~Jewriken.GIF 03:05, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
Part of what makes Uncyclopedia so great is that it has no written constitution. (Well, there's this, but that's just common sense.) So, no, I am not with you. Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 06:51, Apr 20 2010
There is this, but I don't think that counts...--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 11:04, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
Or this, but the original purpose of that document has been lost to history. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 13:06, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
No, no, no. I'm not proposing a Constitution for Uncyclopedia. I'm trying to set up a Constitution for a hypothetical country. Let's say there's a fictional country called Unzania. I might say that a good start to the Constitution of Unzania is: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created and some are endowed by that Creator with certain privileges. That among these privileges are the right to bear arms, the right to take up arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing, end them." That goes up for a vote and if the majority wish to retain it, in it stays.

Of course I could put up an article called 'Unzanian Constitution' and that could be edited till the cows come home. I just put the vote mechanism in so that it alters according to what is most popular, and doesn't just get edited into blandness like so many articles have in the past.

Is that any clearer? CaptLychee 13:45, April 20, 2010 (UTC)

But the main question is, is it funny or will it look like a D & D monster stat sheet? --Mn-z 16:20, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
I guess that all depends on its Armor Class. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 23:14, April 20, 2010 (UTC)

That main question is an important one. I can't guarantee it will be funny and since it would be on Uncyclopedia I ought to be able to do that. I am pretty confident that funny Articles or Clauses within it would get the popular vote, but I can't guarantee it. It would probably end up looking like a monster stat sheet, after all. I do like that comparison and it has tweaked me slightly to have a rant about D&D 4.0 in the form of an article. Hmmm CaptLychee 21:27, April 20, 2010 (UTC)

I think it will not be funny. It will attract the unfunny. If we set to debating principles, I can be plenty unfunny. The Wiki format will produce the same problems as most editing-by-committee about important things (and most important Uncyclopedia editing is either by a single author or a committee such as the Colonizers who agree on an approach). You might get libertarians dominating in the vote on one clause and protectionists dominating on another--more problematic than an Uncyclopedia article in which not all of the humor is consistent. The attraction of a popular wiki is not that it is a wiki but that it is popular, and every budding Founding Father wants a big audience. Years ago, I set out to rewrite the US Constitution to see if I could make it more airtight, but have since despaired of restraining truly lawless people with mere words that they are more than happy to misinterpret. So, this might be a fun endeavor, but hardly suited for Uncyclopedia, and the results would likely be unsatisfying. Spıke Ѧ 00:19 24-Apr-10 Yeah, I see your point there. I might try and invent a fictonal country for Uncyclopedia and see if people want to put their two cents in on its Constitution. Or just keep writing (hopefully) funny articles about authors and actors. CaptLychee 05:57, April 24, 2010 (UTC)

Just start the article and link it here. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 08:49, April 24, 2010 (UTC)

Hang on, we'll draw this up together

Add what you want below this section GiratinaOriginForme |Si Plebius Dato' (Sir) Joe ang Kyurem CUN|IC Kill 800px-Flag of the Philippines svg | 07:23, April 24, 2010 (UTC):


WE THE MEMBERS OF UNCYCLOPEDIA, as part of the Union of Wikia Socialist Republics, would prosper a humo(u)rous Wiki and protect its Members with:

  • JUSTICE for the members and admins
  • EQUALITY for everyone except the banned
  • LIBERTY for everyone


Amemdment 1: Be funny and not just stupid.
Amemdment 2: Don't be a dick.
Subamemdment 2.1: If you have to be a dick, be an enhanced one and not a tiny one; See Amendment 5.
Sub-subamemdmemt to subamemdment 2: Let go of my dick.
Amemdment 3: Fight against - but don't vandalize - Wikipedia because they are too serious.
Amemdment 4: Dance like you've never danced before.
Amemdment 5: Our new affordable pills enhance sexual stamina and grow your nether rod.

Is That It?

As a constitutional autocrat I refer the above document to the waste electron basket. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 08:01, April 30, 2010 (UTC)

I hate to point this out, but it's already on Uncyclopedia. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 08:23, April 30, 2010 (UTC)
Hey - there's that bit about the penis enlargement pills. It's an important document. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 08:54, April 30, 2010 (UTC)
I'll confirm UU about this. GiratinaOriginForme |Si Plebius Dato' (Sir) Joe ang Kyurem CUN|IC Kill 800px-Flag of the Philippines svg | 12:39, April 30, 2010 (UTC)
Amendment 3: No way. You'll just get a bunch of people vandalizing Wikipedia if they see that, and that's just stupid.--Sir ~HELPME~ Count! Awards! Pee! Help! 19:56, April 30, 2010 (UTC)
Aw! (and I almost had my trébuchet complete.)  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  01 May 2010 ~ 01:22 (UTC)
Don't worry, I fixed the 3rd amemdment so that now nobody will vandalize Wikipedia! -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 09:30, May 1, 2010 (UTC)
The official golden rules, the two, seem fine as is except I like the idea of adding "Dance like you've never danced before" as the third offical rule. If anything is to be official I wouldn't mention wikipedia at all, pro or con or neutral. Cats and dogs. But the dance one has possibilities, imnho. . .Al sans chains 10:00 May Day MMX

How Decisions Are Made

Any constitution worth its salt must address this. No one wants the Uncyclopedia governing documents to be clear, because everyone is afraid we would turn from a house of amateur writers to a house of amateur lawyers like a Certain Other Wiki that begins with Wiki. Nevertheless, that is the only way that decisions are made; the 400-member amateur New Hampshire House of Representatives is only ever called a "herd of cats" by people who have not been to Uncyclopedia.

The formal procedure is along these lines:

  1. Someone sees a problem and opens a Forum.
  2. What passes for debate in the first week is nothing but pundits sharpening their textual tongues in preparation for their next epic article.
  3. Finally, someone wanders by and insists, "This is a wiki, God-damn it!" and that the proposer should just be italic and just edit the governing documents himself. This is an ingenious way of making the proposer get specific, as he has not had to do in any of the opening debate.
  4. A dozen horrified Uncyclopedians--having just woken up, sobered up, or returned from vacation--rush to the Forum and start debating the issue seriously.
  5. Mordillo reverts the governing documents. (Regarding re-reverting him in case he hasn't read the debate in the Forum, the Uncyclopedia constitution will deal with this possibility--under Death Penalty.)
  6. Someone tells someone else, who tells someone else who actually remembers what happened the last time we debated the problem.
  7. Finally, by magic, the right thing happens. Spıke Ѧ 14:23 1-May-10
Because making us all abide by laws who force specific formatting, styling and template humor and abiding by section 3.54 sub section 12, article z slash slash c, has certainly made the wiki what it is today. ~Jewriken.GIF 15:14, May 1, 2010 (UTC)

Per Spike

Couldn't edit it, Uncyclopedia:Rules, it's locked, so I will propose that someone storm the gates and unlock it and put the following immortal suggestion of Happytimes, submitted April 28, 2010, in as the third Holy Rule of Uncyclopedia:

Dance like you've never danced before.

Comments, bricks, photo ops, discussion, Symbol for vote For. Aleister in Chains 14:52 May Day MMX

Sure, I'd like to comment. It makes a lot of sense to me, and we should ask Mordillo to just go on the page and just change it. Mordillo, please go into the page and change it. Thank you. Actually, the Holy rules feel better with the third added, imnho, and Happytimes must have been enjoying some Happy times to inspire him when he thought of adding it (and what holy rules worth their salt have only two planks, a third is needed to take the important two and send them off into the world in style!). Al sans chains 16:07 May Day MMX
And don't forget the penis growing pills. I enlargenified mine by 25 inches and now it's so long and heavy that I need a wheelbarrow to get it around. When I get an erection, all the blood vanishes from my head. Then my brain is at 1/4 of its usual capacity, which makes me do really dumb things. I have an erection right now. FUCK THE LOT OF YOU U SUCK NOOBS! -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 17:36, May 1, 2010 (UTC)
Sorry about that, the erection has now passed. Oh I sense another coming. Anyway, sorry! -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 14:59, May 2, 2010 (UTC)
Erect like you've never erected before. Aleister sells Kleenex 15:08 2 5
Although amendment #5 may get in the way of amendment #4, I appreciate the warm sentiments coming my way! Dance, ya know it! --->  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  05 May 2010 ~ 00:20 (UTC)
If you feel something warm coming your way those aren't sentiments. Kleenex should help a bit in the cleanup. Al des chains 00:45 5 5 mmx
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