Forum:5-star rating is no laughing matter

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Dear Sirs and Madams (and Sofia):

It has come to my attention as of late that the introduction of a rating system shall cause untold havoc among mankind and Uncyclopedia specifically. One clear example of this is from the prophesy quatrains of Nostradamus. Until recently, some of the lines made no sense...but as can be seen from this quote, it makes perfect sense at this time.

Nostradamus said: “After there is great trouble among mankind, a greater one is prepared. The great mover of the universe will renew time, rain, blood, thirst, famine, steel weapons and disease. In the wikis, a five-star rating seen."

Also, it is a well known fact that the Cookie Monster warned us on the perils of such a radical change to our wiki.

Quoting from Episode 23 of "Sesame Street"...he said " Cookie ! YES ! 5-star rating? NOO! "

Are we, then, foolhardy enough to ignore such warnings? I say NO!

Too long now, the signs of imminent collapse have been showing up, with increasing alacrity. Winkler, LOLZ, and <insert name here> are just some of the recent fools to invade and infect Uncyclopedia with their diseases. Rating articles, mainpages, and forum posts is insanity. Besides, those 5 little stars are UNFUNNY! Just look at them. Go on, i'll wait.........SEE! They just sit there....oh sure they change color when you hover over them...but that's it. Do they tell jokes? Do they even link to anything? NO! They break ALL known rules that are in UN:HTBFANJS !

These pointy little bastards are cancerous. Soon they will be inviting their friends over, and drinking ALL OUR BOOZE ! This shit has got to STOP ! Kill them, kill them all ! Finnius.png

They're like those little computer creatures that were all the rage with the kids a while ago. You have to feed and walk them. Then the teacher takes them away, and by the time you get them back, they've starved to death. Why did you kill my tamagotchi, Mister Maths-Teacher? Why!?! Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 06:42, 14 March 2008 (UTC)


That is all.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 19:12, 14 March 2008 (UTC)

Hey, it mentions me... I'm FAMOUS! Woo hoo!--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 01:10, 15 March 2008 (UTC)
Finnius has a point, especially at the "This shit has got to STOP ! Kill them, kill them all!" part. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 02:54, 15 March 2008 (UTC)
I always knew you were Mr. Winkler! Spang talk 04:02, 15 Mar 2008
I don't quite know how to take what was said about me. Anyway, I'm here to take care of my little corner of the time stream and keep things on track. Things seem under control. I wouldn't worry. Grak! Verp 08:30, 15 March 2008 (UTC)
Psst... there's a little template called {{USERNAME}}...--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 12:58, 15 March 2008 (UTC)
Yeah, almost got me with it too. You'd think I'd have learned by now that nobody knows who I am. --OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN 15:18, 15 March 2008 (UTC)
Why are we rating in stars and not somthing more topical? Like elephants or Jim Carreys?--Witt, Union leader of Union member UNion Entertain me* 21:46, 15 March 2008 (UTC)
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