Forums: Index > Village Dump > 2016 Uncyclopedia Super Bowl
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Though we always strive to earn our Wikipedia designation as an "obsolete and abandoned website," it is my pleasure to announce the first writing competition of 2016, which at the moment is lacking only (1) any competitors, (2) one or more surprise celebrity judges, and (3) a snappy name. In the past, winning such a competition has been the fast-track for featuring on the website main page, and even just showing up has put editors on the slow-track (that is, nominated on VFH but not necessarily getting anyone to vote for it). And as always, your user talk page will probably get a photograph of an attractive medal.

The general terms will be the same as in previous competitions:


I have a list of gaping holes in the main encyclopedia. Anyone signing up (below) was assigned two of them on 22 January 2016 19:00 (UTC). Late entrants are welcome but have less time to write. This means you need to be an Uncyclopedian with a user name, which you would have to be anyway to contribute illustrations, and good luck winning submitting an article without photos. Anyone can propose additional pages to be written, but no one will be so lucky as to get the one he proposed. I will assign the pages at random, except that I might assign a page to an editor that seems especially likely to write a good one in view of his individual talents [sic], and I might give Featured Authors, and especially authors in the Hall of Shame especially challenging assignments, though still a basic page the encyclopedia ought to have rather than a county commissioner from Utah.

Fulfillment and deadline

Write the article in your own userspace, by yourself, and logged-in so we know it's you. You can sign up late, and that simply means you'll have less time to write the article. Excuses will not be accepted, and incivility deserving a ban will get a ban despite the consequences on the competition. The writing period will end at the same time for everyone; I imagine at the exact end of the Super Bowl featuring the New England Patriots (as final edits can be applied during the commercials, which are always unremarkable). This would be about 7 February 2016 23:30 (UTC). Editing will end at that moment and pages may be locked and reverted to then.


Your Surprise Celebrity Judges are inactive Admins Modusoperandi, Codeine, and Romartus (technically not inactive). Judging typically takes 3-7 days after the deadline. Articles will be judged by our usual Pee Review criteria. Judges can do one of two things:

  • Do a regular, long-form Pee Review for a point score out of 50 points
  • Rate the articles 1, 2, 3, up to the number submitted, the numbers transformed arithmetically so their favorite gets 50 points and the judges' scores can be combined by addition.

Who's in? Spıke Radiomicrophone16-Jan-16 ff.

Official entry form

Everyone gets two assignments. Take your pick, or write two articles for two chances to win! Spıke Radiomicrophone03:04 22-Jan-16

User name Assigned articles Comments Scores Result
Romartus Modus-
ScottPat Basket Andrew Marr He is the BBC presenter you've mentioned 8 20 5 33
EStop Welfare Malcolm Turnbull He is the current PM of Australia 38 50 30 118 (silver)
Chunkles talk ✏️ contribs Shredded wheat Marco Rubio Spike took Marco Rubio 44 40 50 134 (gold)
ConCass2 Secret Beach Boys They invented progressive rock and harmony 32 35 40 107 (bronze)
Aphelionmarauder Flour William Shatner He is the original Captain Kirk 20 32.5 15 67.5
Creativegenius2004 Cheated
MMAFR Pepper Taylor Swift Admin has never heard of her
Vinylrecordprotectress Atlantic Ocean Megyn Kelly She is Donald Trump's arch-enemy 26 30 20 76
Simsilikesims Kiss Martin O'Malley Write it if you want, but he quit 14 27.5 10 51.5
Noonshine Kodak Jim Gilmore Noonshine and Spike worked on Gilmore after the contest 50 31.25 25 106.25 (bronze)

There are your results. I think the bronze award is a tie, as they are within 1 point and if I had converted Romartus's rankings in a different way (at the expense of giving ScottPat an insulting score of 1 instead of 8, see below on this page), they would have flipped. All articles should be mainspaced, except that judges seem to be calling for more work for Kiss and Andrew Marr first. Spıke Radiomicrophone00:36 14-Feb-16

Any comments or suggestions?

Such as subcategories so that there might be multiple winners? (To be decided depending on whether we get multiple contestants.) Spıke Radiomicrophone17:19 16-Jan-16

I suggest a prize for the worst use of apostrophe's.  EStop Easy button 14:21, January 17, 2016 (UTC)

Go on then, as I seem to have found my way back to the site. I'm in. SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 18:17, January 16, 2016 (UTC)

In retrospect, it was a mistake to have moved the site on you. Spıke Radiomicrophone18:38 16-Jan-16

I signed up, read through half the requirements, subsequently shat my pants, and then unshat my pants. Aphelionmarauder (talk) 04:34, January 21, 2016 (UTC)
I try to be as detailed as possible, before any disagreements rather than in response to them. And several of us have been through a few of these contests alread. Now, go wash up. Spıke Radiomicrophone04:51 21-Jan-16
I did an article on my namespace. --The Creative Genius of Uncyclopedia (talk) 05:23, January 21, 2016 (UTC)
For the entry to qualify, it must be *assigned* to you, not one that you pick. There is an added level of difficulty in not knowing in advance which topic you will be assigned. Where would the challenge be in picking your own topic? Also, for readers (like our judges for instance) to be interested in the topic, it must be notable. An article about your namespace, unless you have become well known, either on this wiki or outside of it that we have heard of, is usually not notable. If you have been on this wiki less than 3 months, you have probably not yet become very well known for doing great work on this wiki, unless you have won the "Noob of the Moment" Award. You are, of course, welcome to edit your own user page within certain reasonable limits, but user pages about users don't win contests. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 08:13, January 22, 2016 (UTC)
I did 2 articles on my namespace yesterday and 1 article today. Can I get three chances to win and put them on that table above it? --The Creative Genius of Uncyclopedia (talk) 14:35, January 22, 2016 (UTC)
Respectfully request that you read this entire page, starting from the beginning. Spıke Radiomicrophone15:21 22-Jan-16
I just did it in 1 second and with my mind. --The Creative Genius of Uncyclopedia (talk) 15:36, January 22, 2016 (UTC)
User was banned for the above post. Not for long enough to affect his participation in the contest, until the next one. Spıke Radiomicrophone15:44 22-Jan-16
Alright, Spike. My wish is this: Send me a photo of a top-secret prize! Oooooh, What could it be? I don't know. We'll find out. And my other wish was two chances to win. It's gonna epic like trees and sticks! Wow, wow, wow! Okay, okay. Clear eyes, Full hearts, can't lose, will win. Finally beaten those 8 losers who made them on their userspaces for the Super Bowl! I can't wait! --The Creative Genius of Uncyclopedia (talk) 05:40, January 24, 2016 (UTC)
Contest is to write the funniest, not the fastest. You still have two weeks to make yours even better. Or to continue being a pest. Spıke Radiomicrophone14:18 24-Jan-16
I moved the two articles from that Uncyclopedia mirror website thing to this site. Now please give me a photo of a prize because i'm trying to win! I'll stop being a pest and mine better in two weeks. My goal is to write the funniest and not the fastest. Thank you and good night. --The Creative Genius of Uncyclopedia (talk) 04:18, January 25, 2016 (UTC)
That is cheating and you are banned for two weeks, which is exactly the duration of the writing contest. Spıke Radiomicrophone04:30 25-Jan-16

There is an issue with the article I wrote. A page already exists for Shatner, but it is 1)completely written as if he is kirk and 2) is title for William Shatner. I am confused as to what is going on. Aphelionmarauder (talk) 15:21, January 25, 2016 (UTC)

Yes. All we have at present at William Shatner is a redirect to his character Captain Kirk. The challenge is to write about the actor and not (entirely) about his character. If the result is good (whether or not a contest-winner), it will coexist in the encyclopedia with the other (and doesn't have to be consistent with it). Spıke Radiomicrophone16:28 25-Jan-16
Ok, I was confused for a bit there. Aphelionmarauder (talk) 17:07, January 25, 2016 (UTC)

I will contribute as a judge as ChiefjusticeDS has gone on wall papering leave again. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 14:11, January 27, 2016 (UTC)

A Judge Writes

I will go with the ranking idea rather than a full pee review. Where do I post my results/findings/errors of fact? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 17:09, February 8, 2016 (UTC)

You can create a page in your userspace (or one page per contest entry), and I'll modify the Official Entry Form to link to it/them and to contain your scores. Spıke Radiomicrophone17:32 8-Feb-16
My scores and a few comments are here : User:Romartus/2016_Uncyclopedia_Super_Bowl_Judgement_Week. Just to be clear, 1 is top and 8 is last. I don't know how that computes into points. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 22:53, February 12, 2016 (UTC)
I'll translate it and type them in above. Spıke Radiomicrophone22:56 12-Feb-16
I did 50,44,38,.... Could have done 50,43,36,... but that is like leaving someone a penny tip. Spıke Radiomicrophone23:04 12-Feb-16

Pat on the back award

Goes to Spike for organising the contest. Thanks for all those who took part. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 09:20, February 17, 2016 (UTC)