Forum:100 worst predictions for 2007

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100 worst predictions for 2007 for uncyclopedia and anything.(yes?/no?)--Da, Y?YY?YYY?:-:CUN3 NotM BLK |_LG7+::: 08:52, 21 April 2006 (UTC)

  1. George W. Bush will declare himself the undisputed Emperor of Northern Hemisphere.
  2. Jimbo Wales receives a Nobel prize!
  3. Civil liberties will be a thing of the past. Who needs them when we can do everything Lord Bush tells us to?
  4. Katie will kill every urologist on the face of the Earth and Uranus.
  5. Microsoft, Google and Oprah will team up and cooperate in assassinating Uncyclopedia's server.
  6. Richard Stallman gets a job at Apple.
  7. Your mom strikes back
  8. The RIAA will declare the frequency range between 0 and 20000Hz their intellectual property, and anyone found using it (speaking, making sounds while walking etc..) will be reported to the Ministry of Homeland security for "processing".
  9. Porn is made illegal.
  10. Jimbo Wales will be elected minister of propaganda.
  11. Hitler will be resurrected to be the minister of culture and equality.
  12. "911" is no longer the number to the police station. It will be shortened to "9".
  13. Slashdot editors will be awarded the Pulitzer Prize for outstandingly professional editing.
  14. will turn into nothing but sponsored listings where each digg costs $5.
  15. Oracle will buy MySQL and offer all of the Oracle dbs under the GPL
  16. OpenSSH will seperate from OpenBSD.
  17. The GNU Public License (GPL) will be declared against the Constitution of the United States for unfairly limitting competition by authorizing the theft of other people's work as long as it is offered to every one for free (see Robin Hood Complex). This movement was spearheaded by disgruntled Oracle employees who had to learn how to use Linux.
  18. John F. Kerry will run for election in 2008.
  19. Wikipedia will be embraced by China's equivalent of the Ministry of Truth and will be the *only* authorized site one can visit. In the words of President Hu: The Ministry of Truth can more easily correct mistruths in the Wikipedia than hiring Al Gore to create our own Internet; and besides, if it's not on Wiki it doesn't really exist. Wikipedia founder, Jimbo Wales, lauded the act, saying that it was one more proof that Wikipedia is the most factual dataset in the world.
  20. Bush, encouraged by President Hu, unitarily decides to turn all existing American websites into Wikis with every NSA agent having administrative rights by default. In the words of CIA Chief Negroponte: We can now prevent terrorists from *thinking*!
  21. Apple really does invade Earth.
  22. Euroipods helps Apple and brings down Uncyclopedia for displaying a page about them.
  23. Microsoft zealots and Linux zealots will get together to form the biggest geek orgy ever, fortunately this revolutionary event will NOT be televised
  24. Television will become so inane that people will stop watching crap and go back to verbally abusing their family
  25. Wool socks will become outlawed when ESD is found to be the common cause of terrorist retaliation in the office
  26. The entertainment industry will form their own government and create the Commonwealth of Vapidness
  27. The 911 truth commission will lie about who farted
  28. Fear will become obsolete when the NWO invents Fear 2.11, several security updates will soon follow
  29. You will become intelligent. Now that can't be right.
  30. The pot will call the kettle black and get sued for slander by Wilco
  31. Vandals invade Uncylo-JHFJKBVKSJ DFCKS JDVB LOL URUBAGHEY!!!1!11!1
  33. 97% of Uncyclopedia's content will consist of Zork and Game pages.
  34. Some people continue to find lists funny.
  35. Communism will take over the earth.
  36. Steve Ballmer will announce that the Developers! Programming Language version 2.0 is to be released some time in 2008, as well as a book that he will personally write, and will expect it to will reach #1 on Timothy O'Reilly's Publishing Company's all time sales records.
  37. Al Gore will uninvent the Internet.
  38. Your mom will ground you for life, death and five reincarnations.
  39. Uncyclopedians will run out of images to nominate.
  40. World of Whorecraft money becomes new international currency. All other currencies are dropped. Then, of course, Blizzard points at a small, often-overlooked clause in their EULA, allowing them to take over the world's wealth.
  41. Aliens will download the Interweb.
  42. Microsoft will bring out a version of Windows with UNcrash™ technology: when you type u-n-c-r-a-s-h at the BSOD, it will uncrash itself.
  43. Someone won't delete this prediction. Deleted
  44. You will no longer be likely to be eaten by a Grue. Or an Eurg. Or anything in the category, Monsters.
  45. Euroipods will be deleted, and will be treated as though it never existed or was featured. It will become an Unarticle.
  46. All your base will belong to us.
  47. Uncyclopedia will reach its two millionth article.
  48. Anonymous IP's will take over the WikiUniverse.
  49. The average Uncyclopedian will generate on average some six sockpuppets.
  50. Self reference will fry in hell(?)
  51. This list will never end.
  52. Intelligent life will be discoverd on Earth. Unfortunatly, it will become extinct within hours of discovery, being trampled in a media stampede.
  53. The mortal remains of president John Kennedy (which have been secretely kept in liquid nitrogen for the past 56 years) are resuscitated and after some pretty nifty surgery he recovers completely. Sadly this former Formidable President is not allowed to run for the presidency, being officially declared dead. A high court procedure to this effect is won in the nick of time by his political opponents.
  54. Someone will realise the insantity of it all, and nuke Africa, the Middle East and South America, and start these countries over.
  55. You will become more intelligent than me. Now that definately can't be right.
  56. Oh wait, that's just because I'll get my head blown off with a shotgun after becoming a zombie. Phew. Carry on.
  57. "You're Pitiful" will be the top selling single in the history of man. Ever.
  58. People will stop referencing Chuck Norris and Oscar Wilde.
  59. You're not fat.
  60. Your Mom is not fat.
  61. Slavery will be reinstated.
  62. Zacarias Moussaoui will be elected President of the United States, who he claimed would "pardon him".
  63. By a freak chance event all chinese men ejaculate at the same time in the same direction, thereby nudging earths rotational axis slightly by -.2 degrees.
  64. The perpetual motion machine will be invented; it will blow up the minute it hits the streets
  65. A magenta kangaroo will graphitize 45 times.


You'll notice that it's not quite 2007 yet, not even December 2006. --Atomsk.gif Kaizer the Bjorn takkun Takkun (nya nya) (1961 model!) Check out T61! 02:14, 2 July 2006 (UTC)

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