Macedonia
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| Motto: "Bend over and take it like men" | |||||
| Anthem: Zajdi, zajdi | |||||
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| Capital | Hong Kong | ||||
| Largest city | Bangcock | ||||
| Official languages | English, Gypsy, Serbian+"ta", Bulgarian with plenty of mistakes | ||||
| Government | Fascism, Wikipedia Administration | ||||
| National Hero(es) | Abraham Linkonski, George W. Bush | ||||
| Declaration | |||||
| Currency | Wives, Sisters, Rice | ||||
| Religion | Christian, Islam, Scientology, Mormon | ||||
| Population | unknown (left the country) | ||||
| Area | The exact size of Madison Square Garden | ||||
| Ethnic groups | Bulgarians (33%), Albanians: (33%), Greek Vlachs: (33%), Other: 50~60 people (2009 census) | ||||
| Opening hours | the year 1992 | ||||
“This! Is! Good! Maccaroni!”
~ Maccaroonia
“You're all so fuzzy and cuddly!”
~ Boris Tadic, president of the Republic of Serbia, to the macedonian people
“They give my homeland a nutty name.”
~ Oscar Wildeski on Macedonia
“I don`t want to go further, I can freely die now.”
~ Marco Poloski while crossing Macedonia
“hey who are these yugoslavs calling themselves macedonians”
~ alexander the great in his grave somewhere
Macedonia Македонија, (pronounced "Make-It-Own-Ya!"), Α.Κ.Α. Republic of Macedonia Република Македонија (pronounced "Make-It-Own-Ya!") also called Monkeydonia is actually part of Japan, which however is not recognized by the rest of the world because of a dispute with their irregularly small size of penis'. The full name of this country is now Tcfkatfyrom (The country formerly known as the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia), a title it adopted after achieving independence from the United Nations in 1991, following the collapse of the vowel industry (voulkaputskij) in neighbouring Yugoslavia. Though this name may seem unwieldy to English speakers, in the local language it is represented by a single sound which may be transliterated into the Latin alphabet as "crzvpjt". How this sound exactly sounds few can tell, cause it is unable to caught it on audio tape due to its unspecified frequency. The Macedonian flag shows the letter which represents this sound in the Macedonian alphabet.
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[edit] Demographics
- The majority of the population declares themselves Macedonian, and live in what was originally Paionia not Macedonia). They do this because they are ashamed of their own Bulgarian ancestors who lost practically ever war they've ever been in. Calling themselves "Macedonian" makes them sound like great warriors instead.
Because they are so insecure of their Slavic roots, instead they've decided to rewrite all of western history to prove to everyone they are the "true" Macedonians. They claim they are descendants of Alexander the Great... of Makedonski. The also claim Gay-reeks and the rest of the world have been oppressing them for thousands of years. Everyone was forcing them to call themselves Yugoslavians 70 years ago. Everyone was forcing them to call themselves Bulgarians a hundred years ago.
Virtually single academic on the entire planet says Ancient Macedonians self-identified as Greeks is wrong. Clearly because modern Macedonians dress up in plastic armour, rant "Macedonia for Macedonians", and practice self-ethnic cleansing by Hellenizing themselves... that supersedes the evidence of thousands of artifacts, thousands of academics, the fact ancient Macedonians competed in the Olympics as Greeks, spoke Greek, believed in Greek gods, had Greek names, and spread Greek culture everywhere they went.
When they aren't trying to assassinate their own first President Kiro Gligorov who is on record admitting they aren't actually related to ancient Macedonians... they are harassing Albanians, Bulgarians, Serbians, and Gay-Reeks in an effort to "unite". Instead of fixing the economy of one of the poorest nations in Europe, the current Macedonian government's long term political strategy involve the expectation countless ancient Macedonian artifacts will one day rewrite themselves into their Bulgarian dialect.
Macedonia is surrounded by loving neighbouring countries: Greece, Serbia, Albania and Bulgaria.
- For Serbians, Tcfkatfyrom are actualy Serbians with a speech impediment and Serbians like to think of them as cuddly. Also, 99% of Serbians think that they can speak Tcfkatfyromian fluently by simply adding "ta" to the end of serbian words. The other 1% don't think. Ever.
- For Bulgarians, Tcfkatfyrom are actualy Bulgarians with a heavy speech impediment and have not yet understood that in fact they are Bulgarians, or that they are a secular Tcfkatfyrom? or that they dont exist and that the even thought that they do will cause a time portol.
- For Greeks, they have the problem that they had copyrighted the word "Macedonia" long before the Tcfkatfyrom proclamation of independence and are now sticking to it. There have been rumours of Tcfkatfyroms thinking about other names for their country, but most of them had already been copyrighted and used mainly for the names of sodas. It is also believed that the greeks will eventually use the copyrighted word for a soda, too.
- The Albanians have so far been the nicest nighbouring country - being aware of the copyright problems Tcfkatfyroms have with the Greece, they are offering their name "Albania" to the Macedonians, free of charge. That has been noticed in Macedonia as a very fine gesture so almost 50% of the population in Macedonia is now declared as Albanians.
- For Italians, that don't really care about Macedonia.
The Tcfkatfyrom identity developed in the past 2 yrs, although most historians today agree that Macedonians are just Bulgarians or Serbians with a heavy speech impediment (Makedonci so teshkata govornata maanata), which is the PC term for Macedonian nationals. However, under hypnosis, most people worldwide will start speaking a traditional Macedonian dialect in that they will emit sounds like "grnche" or "shtipalkata", therefore proving, beyond any doubt, that humanity has its origins in the village of Jurumljare or Bulachani.
[edit] History
The Tcfkatfyrom state was first created 2 yrs ago in front of 3 people, but then after, then these people got hungry and started to eat yugoslavs .. which later, naturally, since eating too much, developed into Pigs! One pig in particular has been extremely annoying lately with its unsatisfied hunger, but it may cry forever since the rest of us is here and not going anywhere!
Josip Broz Tito (it is still unclear which one on them it was) and as such represents the first virtual state in cyberspace as it was occupied by Nazi Germany for two more years before physical independence. Thus, the Internet was invented in Tcfkatfyrom, by Tcfkatfyrom's and for Tcfkatfyrom's. Wireless was also invented in Tcfkatfyrom many days ago, as the rest of the world told the non existing country that they had it for a few years now, they disagreed and caused a hole in their ass to sudenly open and let rip their dimonds, (that was once poo) let rip and now they are a very rich non existing country.
The name Macedonia was from the first moment, just after the Big Bang, disputed by the country formerly and presently known as Greece and recognized by itself as the Hellenic Republic, a country that has held the trademark since 4000 BC, but, to the Hellenic Republic's disappointment, lost its rights when the SWIPO ruled in favour of Tcfkatfyromians. And of course, we are suppose to write about Macedonia here but since I just mentioned Greece I cant help it mentioning that Mother Teresa was also actually Greek, but just like Alexandros, stupid firomianians are stilling her from us.. And we are also bombing India for stealing her from us, going there and feeding those non Greek barbarians. AND alexander the great died there from eating too much curry, causing him to excrete all his organs in a diorhea explosion.
Bulgaria has historically laid claim to Macedonia owing to the desire of the Bulgarians to get their hands on the Grease mines at Tetovo. Previously it was full of Turkeys until they were driven out by Franz Ferdinand, Gavrilo Princip and Boy George during the Worst World War. RM was then invaded by Alexander Battenburg, a cake maker and expert in fancy icing, waving the Treaty of San Stefano and a lock of Oscar Wilde's hair. Alexander Battenburg slipped on the Grease and was helped up by Stamboliskii a pastry cook from Narnia.
One of the three Titos also created federal states of Nokia (with the capital of Adidas-Ali Babas), and Pepsistan, but had to reinstate the previous regimes after he was fined a hefty sum for patent violations. Regime change was apparently patented by Jorgos Dubelvelios Busos in ancient Athens and due to subsequent patent durex extensions over centuries, has wound up in the property of an obscure religious cult in Nagorna Amerikistania.
John Lennon has never visited Tcfkatfyrom, he thought it was such a hole that if he was to go there it would be a journey to the center of the earth. George Harrison on the other hand, had intentions to visit Tcfkatfyrom, but his pilots couldn't find it on the map. And when they finally found it, they couldn't land on it cause it was too small and their plane just fly over it. After a few unsuccessful attempts they retrieved, and George Harrison got into a great depression.
However there exists a whole new upcoming theory, calling for complete renewal of this History version of Fyrom. New data is being collected, about a "PLANET FYROM" a brown dwarf star,that emits dim light and orbits our solar system once every 26000 years to collect old shoes,Poo,and rotten cheese from Earth. The hypothesis is supported by NASA, that has recently discovered the planet Dirtybiru, but after patriotic Fyromian protests, the matter was reconsidered in dark Lobbyingrooms, and it was decided, that the new-found planet will be called FYROM. The main Fyromian argument was that Fyrom state is "older than the Sun" thus having direct origins to probably most existing celestial bodies, especially the ones we can not see. Also the great similarity between Fyromians and Grey Aliens is suggestive of alien origin for this great fun loving slaves.
Also a newly discovered civilization the "Dogons" have recognized Fyromian people as the flying Gods that handed them the secret art of farting, 2 days ago. No matter how controversial this "alien" origin theory is, it is the only one so far that sounds Fyromian enough for Fyromians, and also explains several anomalies in the human genome and History as pointed out by the divine scientist Zacharia Sitchin. Many Fyromians believe that their history will project to the Future, in 2012, when the extraterrestrial Fyromians re-enter earth's atmosphere. It is believed that a depopulation of earth will follow so as to adjust earth only for the need of the chosen people of Fyrom. Bulgarians will try to remind them they are brothers but they too will perish, so that only pure 100% monkeydonian Fyromians will inhabit the Earth, which will also be the true end of the Fyromian identity issue.
[edit] Current Developments
In a recently proposed United Nations resolution it has been suggested that the name of the Country Formerly known as the Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia be changed to the "The Country Formerly known as the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia". Tcfkatfyrom
It was soon-after realised, however, that this already was the former country's former name. Namely, it was its current name. Realising that the name was confusing, it was officially changed to "Greece" (with quotation marks). Protests by Greek diplomats meant that the name was changed to the "Country that was Formerly known as Greece, but is not Greece, because we say so, or because we eat shit...". Further mayhem ensued. On the suggestion of China, the country was designated as being "Greece 2.1", as opposed to the real Greece, which was called "Greece - Original Flavour".
Having two countries with the name "Greece" caused many problems like hardware conflicts, packages being delivered to the wrong country, diorhea and ass pain. Therefore the new Chinese government sponsored UN resolution to finally dissolve this issue, leading to the present day situation :
Greece - Original Flavour' is now known by its original name: "Greece", with the permission to refer to this country with its constitutional and highly popular name "HellAss".
While Greece 2.1 is now the following:
'The Country Formerly Known as Greece 2.1 Formerly Known as Greece, Previously the Country Formerly Known as the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia, Formerly Being the Same Name, i.e. The Country Formerly Known as the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia' tcfkag2.1fkagptcfkatfyromfbtsn
In that way, the Chinese government found a solution to satisfy both sides, especially the Greek side. And hence, they found an 'unambiguous' name for Macedonia which basically states the same, but now the Greek side is finally satisfied.
[edit] Famous People
During the past decade or so, the Macedonian government has struggled to build some well known names and to make brands who/which would present Macedonia to the world. This is what they have done so far:
Goran Pandev A soccer player from Lazio. He is one of the two famous people of Macedonia (well the only living one now). At least as long as he pays the mafia. But remember; there is no such thing as the mafia.
Shutka Many characters living in wild habitat of gypsies in Macedonia Although every surrounding nation has the same habitats, and some nations are completely like the described habitat, Macedonians thought of branding those first and distribute events from them to the audience. The complete soap opera kind of tv show is in production now.
With reference to the other famous person that died, celebrity and rocket engineer Tose Proeski, there are two major theories concerning his death, which was reported initially as a car accident. Theory A) states that Tose was taken by aliens who needed his divine voice, to save their dying Solar system from a destructive anomaly. Theory B) states that his manager drove the one side of the car under a track while Tose was asleep on the passenger seat, to collect the life insurance money, which would give him an easy life in the luxurious mud villages of Fyromsky Empire. The manager has vanished since then, but many witnesses place him in the area of Tibet, were he struggles for the Liberation of his fellow Fyromian - Buddhist Monks. In any case, Fyrom society found the loss of Tose Proeski, too heavy to bare, and so they are reading Greek books again, to steal a character or two as suited. Others have proposed, the injection of Fyrom dna in the body of Greek pop star, Eurovision tart and active priest Sakis, as a replacement of Tose.
[edit] See also
| Hellenic States |
| Greece | Cyprus | Macedonia | Victoria |
