Footnote

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Note en bas de page
An example of a footnote at the bottom of the page.

A footnote[1] is a piece of information[3], written at the bottom of a page[2], completing a word or a sentence identified by the same symbol[4].

edit Footnotes

  1. This has nothing to do with a musical note[13]. It's just a short[5] text. Wasn't that obvious, you twit?
    Martin amis en bas de page
    An example of Martin Amis at the bottom of the page.
  2. In some rare occasions, a footnote[1] may appear on another medium, such as a wooden plank[8], a slice of Parma[24] ham, or a centipede[15].
  3. The Information was a Martin Amis novel published in 1995. It's also a Beck album released in 2006. Uh[22], you don't give a shit?[7]
  4. A famous online dictionary[10] defines a symbol as a "sign, emblem or glyph, representing an idea, a concept or an object". But if you don't know what a symbol[4] is, you are hopeless.
  5. There is currently no consensus on the exact length of a footnote[1]. Although they are usually pretty short, a famous anthropologist working in New-Guinea[19] reports that he has seen wild giant footnotes—sometimes more than 14 feet high—attacking men, eating children and destroying wheat fields and igloos[14].
  6. This is a number used for identification. Example: "George Bluguch is a weird number". Uh[22], I'm not sure this is going to help you understand. Oh well, you[23] can go fuck yourself!
  7. From the moment you[23] decide to read this article[26], you have to assume your responsibilities. You[23] are not going to tell me that you expected to read something interesting in a text about footnotes[1]!
  8. At first, for this footnote I considered adding a bit of very useful and instructive information[3] about wooden planks. But on second thought, there’s not a lot of stuff to talk about wooden planks. Uh[22], anyway, since you’re here… So—wooden planks are cool. Not really hyper-enormously cool but they're not too bad. Well, that's what I think[11].
  9. Ain’t that a cool word: “baloney”.[7]
  10. Some footnotes[1] are addressed to idiots without any educational background, who don't even notice that they would find the same information[3] in any dictionary. No offence, asshole[23].
  11. For your information[3], please note[1] how this sentence is particularly interesting. It might even be the key sentence of this article[26]. At first sight it may seem like an ordinary sentence if you consider the way it’s written but the philosophical and metaphysical concepts it makes me believe that this sentence is going to leave a permanent mark in the entire history of footnotes[1]. And ... But ... Oops. Actually, that is not at all the case. That was another sentence. My mistake.
  12. What was I talking about? Damn! Well, let’s start again from there[1]. Or maybe there[8]. Or even there[9].
  13. Music was invented in the 16th century B.C. by the cruel Babylonian[12] king Nargataglidul while he was torturing the enemies that he captured on the battlefield. He discovered that the prisoners from the kingdom of Larsa had a much higher voice than the Gutis, while the sound produced by the Isinians were perfect to establish a constant tempo, especially while they were having their fingernails ripped off. Once they were dry, corpses of the Eshununnans, falling down[17] from the cliff where the mutilated Elamites were stocked, produced wonderful percussion sounds. This is how Nargataglidul was able to compose some good pieces of music to accompany the torture sessions, which were thus much easier to handle. This is the magic of music[13].
    Scutigere en bas de page
    An example of a centipede at the bottom of the page.
  14. The end of this sentence might let you think this is baloney[9], and this demonstration has to be taken carefully because everyone know that Eskimos[28] leave in igloos, and not Papuans[28]. On the other hand, as emphasis the Irish philosopher De Selby: “Are you really sure that the Eskimos are leaving in igloos?
  15. Coming from the family of the myriapoda anthropoda, a centipede is pretty important item on the list of the things you definitely don’t want to have in your underwear[16].
  16. This list has been established by the famous Irish[28] philosopher and scientist de Selby in his book “Lists for dummies”. There’s not much to do in Ireland[11].
  17. Please note[1] that the expression "falling down" also matches the pitiful situation of a guy who tries to explain footnotes[1] by creating more and more footnotes[1].
  18. Death was invented in the 16th century B.C. by the Babylonian king [12] Nargataglidul. Before that, nobody died and the corpses were just drying under the sun until body parts felt down one by one. And people were just looking ridiculous [36]. Death[18], because of its numerous possibilities (from the political assassination to the meat slicer[31] accident), was very successful.
    Alexandre III en bas de page
    An example of Alexander III at the bottom of the page.
  19. To be precise, the wild footnotes[1] have colonized the most part of Papua, including Milne Bay and the numerous islands attached. This event occurred right after the discovery of the pedalo[40].
  20. This is absolutely not related but meat was introduced for the first time under the reign of Tsar Alexander III by Vladimir Kotiolov, father of Gennadiy Kotiolov. Vladimir was sentenced to death[18]: the meat was cold the he forgot the slicer[31].
  21. This footnote[1] is referring to the author of this article[26]. This author talks about himself. So we could classify this footnote[1] under the reference "footnote[1] about Author taking about himself". Then we could do a footnote[1] about this footnote[1] explaining it’s about a footnote[1] about a footnote[1] about the author talking about himself. And so on. Unfortunately, I’ve got an appointment with my doctor because of that huge brain tumor.
  22. This is an interjection expressing confusion or embarrassment. [33]. For example: "Uh, I just decapitated George Bluguch with this herring[35]."
  23. As opposed to the rest of the text which is usually more formal, the footnote [1] can adress directly to the reader. I take this opportunity to remind Raymond that we have lunch at Sophie’s next Tuesday with Frank[29].
  24. Parma is an Italian city famous for its ham. As declared George Blugush: "Parmigiano cheese is nice" [20].
    Camembert en bas de page
    An example of Camembert at the bottom of the page.
  25. This Russian sentence, translated in English, means : "Your mother fucks reindeers"… What? Hey go fuck yourself!
  26. This month, if you buy two articles on the Uncyclopedia, we offer an exclusive Camembert I bought last week at Wal-Mart.
  27. Footnotes[1] without any reference in the text have one interest: noone reads them. This way the author can confess what he really has on his mind, and this is priceless[37]. For example, i can reveal that every Thursday, on the Wal-Mart's parking lot, I cheat on my wife with a Camembert. Ahhh, it feels so good! (To confess my sins, not to cheat on someone with some smelly French cheese).
  28. Once considered as powerful people, with proud and mighty warriors, they start declining right after the terrible invasion of the 16th century B.C. led by the Babylonian[12] king Nargataglidul. Nargataglidul used this opportunity to improve the famous technics called "guts hanging"[30].
  29. Well, if I finish this article[26] since then. Ahem[22], it starts getting dark in here, in the abyss of the footnotes[2].
  30. Guts are the comestible parts of a sweet little rabbit. They are used to produce some saussage, even if George Blugush strongly disagrees.
  31. Built around a sharp disc, the goal of the meat slicer if to cut Parma ham in almost equal slices[11]. Here I am, deep inside the bottom of the footnotes[2] it seems. It's starts getting tough to keep on; references are crossing over, links are getting fuzzy, and 4th level footnotes[2] are really difficult to handle. But the textual speleology is so wonderful.
  32. argh gurp splash Glubuch argh gurp splash Glubuch argh gurp splash George Glubuch argh gurp splash Glubuch... (x15)
  33. This state of mind can also be found in the writer who loves details a little bit too much and adds footnotes[1] to footnotes[1] to footnotes[1] to footnotes[1]...
    Hareng en bas de page
    An example of a herring at the bottom of the page.
  34. Irish Philosopher de Selby was a pioneer in the field of medicine. In his book "How to cure a dirty nail with trepanation", he explains a new way to treat syphilis[39] by giving it gangrene and treat gangrene by giving it syphilis[39].
  35. Herring used as a weapon occurred for the first time during the historical episode known under the name "red Sunday", in Saint-Petersburg, by Youri Kotiolov. Unfortunately, he died by drowning in a bowl of Hungarian soup before he could even kill someone with his herring.
  36. Dear reader, I interrupt this footnote[1] to inform you that this is the 5th iteration in the abyss of the the page[2]. Very few literary speleologists have been here before. Around me, everything looks dark and cold. Letters and numbers[6] are mixing and it is more and more difficult for me to find my way. I just noticed I can even remember from which way I came into this mess. Is it the end?[38]
  37. In 1893, Gennadiy Kotiolov, at this time a miner in Lipetsk, had a lot of money in his lungs. This happened to be very convenient as he could get a huge discount on his cremation.
  38. Reader, my friend, I interrupt this footnote[1] to inform you[23] about a wonderful discovery I made here, in the abyss of the bottom of the deep end of the page[2]. Here on some very old walls I barely see symbols[4] on what appears to be a human hand. Yes, these are sentences saying: “You, author, stop your madness and go back to where you come from! The heart of the bottom of the page is full with dangers you cannot imagine!”, and also, with another handwriting: “Oh my God, they are following me! This is the end for me! Yet I’m bleeding to death! How mad was I to go this deep! They shout! I can hear them! Oh no! Aaaaaargh!”, and also “hand job, blowjob,... call Carla at 0825...” (I cannot read the rest of the numbers[6]). I’m going to keep on for a while[41].
  39. About syphilis, please note[1] that during his journey around Europe, Gennadiy Kotiolov suffered from the « polish flu » and… But, by the way, we really don’t give a shit about the Kotiolov brothers!

    GENNADIY KOTIOLOV: Pardon me! This remark if pretty offensive regarding our family!

    YOURI KOTIOLOV: Indeed. I hope you are going to apologize right away.

    Oh, shut up you morons!

    KOTIOLOV BROTHERS: Aitisi nai poroja ![25]

    What ?

    Pedalo en bas de page
    An example of a pedalo at the bottom of the page.
  40. Invented by the famous Irish engineer de Selby, pedalo[40] made a breakthrough onto the market when people noticed it works much better on water than on the prairies of Ireland.
  41. I… I am not sure I am going to be able to go any further. I thought I would get used to darkness but obscurity is absolute in here. I have the strange feeling I am not alone, like someone is watching me. It is getting harder and harder to keep on. I hear more and more whispering around me. Maybe these are the cursed souls of the writers who came here before me. Wait... That’s weird. Now everything is quiet. Silence. Silence? No. I hear a noise. Louder and louder. Is it a group of warriors marching on? And these songs[13]? Is it Babylonian? Hey, stop! Don’t touch me! Leave my guts alone! No! Noooooooooo
1dÉ

This article is based on the Désencyclopédian text Note en bas de page, made freely available to French-speaking wildebeest gnus under the GFDL.

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