From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
The food chain is the diagram that demonstrates how all living animals, at some point, are eaten by men, men specifically called Christians, especially Christians from America. By America, I mean the United States, the nation of God, the one true God of the New Testament. His name is Jesus. That's beside the point. The main point is that all animals are here for humans, especially men, not women because they are inferior. For example, a rabbit eats grass, a cougar eats the rabbit, then the man shoots the cougar; makes the woman skin it, gut it, and cook it, then man eats the cougar, and maybe gives some to the woman if she has been good.
Six thousand years ago,[that's what my Bible says, so it must be true] God created all the living animals, including bacteria, parasites, and viruses, for man. Men are commanded by God to subdue all animals and women because women would starve without men and eventually die because they are weak and child-like. On the other hand, men are powerful, and that is why we subdue nature. At some point in time, lets say the sixties, Liberals came around, then they were crushed, but then they came back in the eighties, then crushed again by Reagan, but then came back to life, and they said man should be below woman and should not eat animals. Liberals are evil.
The only science you need is the Holy Bible, son, so read up on that, then you might understand. Science is evil, so we won't get into that.
Vegetarians are pure evil. They think animals have feelings and that we shouldn't slaughter them. Somehow, they have the guts to say that eating plants is healthy. News flash, plants aren't even alive, so how can they be healthy? They also taste like crap. I'm American, damn it; I eat red meat from an animal, an animal I killed with a gun, and my wives skinned, gutted, and cooked. Plus, vegetarians are usually gay. Gays can't even get married in America, so who cares what they think.
edit The Food Chain Today
Liberals, like the idiots they are with their facts and their science,say that animals are dying off, left and right. Animals are not in peril of extinction like liberals say. There are so many. Too many to count; in fact, I couldn't count all of them on one hand, even. Animals are here to die, so get used to it, liberals. I swear, liberals are probably manifestations of Satan. Just do what the food chain says to do. Eat all the living animals you can. Since proper woman can't read, you should tell your wife to cook your food and be happy with the scraps she gets, and that if she was allowed to eat what you eat, she would be fat and disgusting.