Flying Spaghetti Wager

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“have you been touched by his noodly appendage?”


According to modern theologians, there are benefits and punishments to belief and non-belief in the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It has been generally agreed that:

  1. According to the First United Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the Flying Spaghetti Monster exists, with His noodly appendages spreading throughout the universe.
  2. If the Flying Spaghetti Monster exists, He is invisible and immaterial so we cannot prove His existence or non-existence.
  3. If He exists, He will touch those who worship him and follow His commandments (dressing like a pirate and not working on Fridays), thereby giving them eternity in Heaven with a beer volcano and a stripper factory.
  4. If He exists, He will punish non-believers by condeming them to Hell where the beer is warm and the strippers are fat.
  • You may worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and the Flying Spaghetti Monster exists, in which case you with have eternity with a beer volcano and a stripper factory.
  • You may worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster if you have recently placed a Tom Wager
  • You may worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and the Flying Spaghetti Monster doesn't exist, in which case you gain nothing.
  • You may not worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and the Flying Spaghetti Monster doesn't exist, in which case you gain nothing.
  • You may not worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and the Flying Spaghetti Monster exists, in which case you will be condemned to a boring Hell with no beer volcanoes and strip factories.

The following table shows the outcomes based on the above values:

Flying Spaghetti Monster exists (p) Flying Spaghetti Monster does not exist (1-p)
Worship of Flying Spaghetti Monster (B) + ∞ (Heaven with beer volcano and strippers) 0
Non-worship of Flying Spaghetti Monster (~B) − ∞ (Hell with stale beer and strippers with vaginal diseases) 0

With the value of p being a given in the above table, each individual can affect the state B. Hence, by selecting B as true (worship of Flying Spaghetti Monster), the individual has an average outcome of (∞ + 0) / 2, which rounds to ∞.

From here, it is obvious that the most rational thing to do is to worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster by dressing as a pirate and not working on Fridays.

(As a side note, using the fact that the outcome is in fact ∞, one can easily substitute this back into the original table to find out that indeed, the Flying Spaghetti Monster exists. This can be seen as proof of the existence of FSM).

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