Flying Purple People Eater
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
"Flying Purple People Eater" was a cannibal notable as an extra-terrestrial novelty character-actor and singer, who played the part of alien, “Sheb Wooley” (the monster), in the classic horror story, One-Eyed One-horned Flying Purple People Eater. The show was nominated for the Nobel Prize in 1958 and played on Broadway for 7 straight years until the entertainers death in 1964. The creature is buried in Graceland, next to its idol, Elvis Presley, leaving behind a sizable body of recorded talent.
“One-Eyed One-horned Flying Purple People Eater” was a Flying Purple People Eater with one-eye and one-horn who descended to Earth because it wanted to eat purple people.
The presumption is that it came from a planet of One-Eyed One-horned Flying Purple People Eaters who were running low on food. The situation became more complex when the Purple People Eater finally realized there are no purple people on the Earth, other than small children who tried to retaliate at their parental figures and patients suffering from Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease. Thus, unable to excell at eating with anything but grapes and the occasional hypoxic child, the Purple People Eater switched it's focus to a career in show business which was initially met with a modicum of success as a background actor in such shows as "Falcon Crest", "Remington Steele", and "My Step Dad's a One Eyed One Horn Flying Purple People Eater".
Extraterrestrial One-Eyed One-horned Flying Purple People Eater from the planet פלוטו which orbits the היקום.
The monster is non-vegetarian and prefers purple people to eat, as shown in the following lyrics from the drama:
| I said Mr. Purple People Eater, what's your line?|
He said eating purple people, and it sure is fine.
Monsterologist, Don Martin discusses the character of One-Eyed One-horned Flying Purple People Eaters, and notes a total lack of respect for purple people. "Don’t ask a stupid question." Martin told National Enquirer, “It should be written 'flying purple-people eater' to make clearer the apparent intent that 'purple' refers to the people eaten".
The ambiguity of the creature, i.e., was it purple? Or did it just eat purple people? - was present when it originally played on Broadway. In response to the play, viewers drew pictures from memory that show a "people eater" colored purple. A post-mortem examination after it starved to death proved that the creature was, in fact, purple.
The beast spoke American-English and it's native tongue, Польская
The voice of the purple people eater is similar to, but not quite as high-pitched or as fast, as Pee Wee Herman. The creature had a hit with it’s first recording, “Dr. Dr.”, followed by another hit, “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction” (later covered by the Rolling Stones), which was released late in 1958. Alvin and the Shitmonks themselves eventually released the mega-hit, "Purple People Eater”, which finally made the creature famous.
The purple people eater reappeared in "The Purple People Eater Meets the Witch Doctor", by John Huston, and it also released a B movie with no name in 1958; it was also featured in, “The Big Bopper” in 1961.
In spite of taking singing lessons from Bob Dylan, the creature was unable to impress Mario Lanza.
In August 1964 the creature finally died of starvation in New York City Jail. It was incarcerated for impersonating a Purple People Eater, and it had no ID to prove its innocence.
- Close examination of the space craft it arrived in later led to development of the Mel Brooks movie, Space Balls.
- The enduring popularity of the song led to the Minnesota Vikings changing their name to "Purple People Eaters" in 1970.
- Boyz Will Be Boyz covered this song on the 2004 album, Kidz Pop Halloween Bubble.
- The Sheb Wooley version reached #4 on Billboard.
The following artists have mentioned the creature in their songs:
- Judy Garland 
- Sha Na Na.
- Screaming Lord Sutch.
- Another cover version can be found on the “Kiddy-songs” DVD, "Very, Very, Very, Very Strange Songs".
- ↑ TMZ on the UFO, Oct. 1974
- ↑ "A Wild Guess Gazette", 11/18, Fox Broadcasting.
- ↑ Some hip Uncyclopedia editor, Jan 26, 2010
- ↑ UFO Obituaries, August 1964
- ↑ 'Some dramas are meant to make you gasp.' Beaumount Express, June 7, 1964 (Article ID: 6070061/BS,) says the "flying purple people eater actually ate purple people'
- ↑ The Purple People Eaters. Bob Lurtsema's Viking Update.
- ↑ The Incomparable Judy Garland. If it is on the Internet it must be true.
- ↑ Are YOU still reading this nonsense? You should be committed - seriously!
|•••••Your Guide To Cannibalism•••••|
Alfred Packer • Baby Eating • Baby farming • Baby food • Baby meat • Cannibal Corpse • Cannibalism • Cannibals • Celebrity Roast • Communion • Cunnilingus • Dinner Party • Fellatio • Fishing For Children • Flying Purple People Eater • G-Rex • Hannibal Lecter • HowTo Cook A Human • HowTo Cook Children • HowTo:Cook A Fetus • Human head • I Can't Believe It's Not Soylent Green • McDahmer's • Meaty Amin • Mike Tyson • Nazi Eating • New Zealand • People • Recipes • Supergirl • Sweeney Todd • Uncle John's Fetus Burgers and Abortion Clinic •UnNews Cannibalism becoming increasingly popular • UnNews Cannibals Stopped • UnNews New TV Trend • UnNews Soylent Green Defamation • Why? Don't Be A Cannibal • Vore • Why? Eat People • Zombies