FANDOM


Fluffy

Fluffy, the "Destroyer of Worlds."

Fluffy is the most widely feared destructive force in our universe. Captain Jean-Luc Picard is believed to have been the first human to lay eyes upon Fluffy and survive. It is believed to be a creation of the Borg, though the origin of the "Dog of Doom" is not fully understood. What is known is that anything that comes into contact with its fecal matter will result in the instantaneous annihilation of everything within a single parsec. Its affection is also to be feared, as anything it licks inevitably will slowly disintegrate over the course of seven Earth days. It is believed that the asteroid belt separating Mars and Jupiter may be the remains of a planet Fluffy chose to use as a fire hydrant.

The anatomy of FluffyEdit

Fluffy is not composed entirely of organic matter; rather its organic outer shell encases a cold fusion reactor located in the center of its chest. This is analogous to an organic stomach that stores fuel, as well as performing the actions of all other organs found in most organic lifeforms. When it consumes a planet, asteroid or even a star for its nourishment, its core reactor can generate almost ten million jigowatts of pure electrical energy per hour; enough to power every single device on Earth for at least four days.

Encountering FluffyEdit

Cute

Pussy is not as much a threat to other lifeforms. However, its mutual hatred for Fluffy and the battles which resulted have been the cause of many an ice age for nearby planets.

Since Captain Picard's famous discovery of Fluffy, Starfleet has outlined a set of guidelines to follow should any unfortunate soul encounter it. It is not a dog in size by any Earth standard. Instead, it is roughly the size of a single starship. Humans who look Fluffy in the eyes without the aid of computer imaging has been known to cause spontaneous combustion. Captains are advised to close all portholes to prevent redshirts from viewing it unprotected.

Do not come into contact with its exhaust emissions. Its gaseous contents vary depending on what it had for lunch, but it has been known to contain the highly acidic substance BA-2529, which is capable of disintegrating an entire starship in less than one-hundred seconds. Its exhaust can also contain substance FL-983, which is dense enough to create black holes. Put simply, the most prudent thing to do when encountering a Fluffy is to engage warp-eleven and run like hell. Another viable option is to deploy a holographic projector that creates an image of Fluffy's arch-rival known as Pussy.