Flea market
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They are just like mini-malls!
“I'm Itchy”
~ Me on this article
"Flea market" is where you can buy cheap and shitty stuff that either nobody wants, or someone's used, broken, or used it to bring down the reign of Oprah, who personally is responsible for the debt of Third-World countries because of all the ham she eats. Fortunately, you cannot buy Oprah Winfrey from flea market, and if you could, then you're stuck with her, because flea market philosophy dictates that you can't return items, even if they've not been opened (which, in most cases, they already have been). It is known to be just like a Mini-Mall and flea markets can often have items relating to living rooms, bedrooms and dinettes.
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[edit] Money and pelvic thrust
Encouraging people to go to flea market could be people with little money, people with lots of money, or even Tom Jones, whose purchases from flea market include his powerful pelvic thrust and a pair of scissors. Fuck, I tried to buy a pelvic thrust like that, but when I got it home, the thrust had leaked out of the package. Tom Jones (and David Hasselhoff) are, apparently, the only people to ever get a pelvic thrust home from a flea market in one piece. Why'd you think they're so famous? Their singing/acting/kitten huffing abilities? No, no, no, no, yes, no, and NO! It's because of their preservation of the pelvic thrust.I lOVE FLEAMARKETS IN THE END.
[edit] Body parts
In compensation, flea markets also offer a wide variety of other stuff relating to the body. I'm typing this shit right now using an arm that I bought from a flea market. It's not done me any harm. SURE, I bark like a dog at stop-signs, and SURE, I have an uncontrollable urge to lick people I don't know or have never met before on the face, but that's the ONLY downside to having a dog-limb. If you ask them nicely, the flea market you find yourself wandering aimlessly lost in will attach it to you. They did for me. All I had to do was give them the deeds to my house, life, soul, and thereby surrender all rights, copyrights (and copylefts) to my shitty little life.
[edit] Stalin, flea market, and evil
Flea market is an organization of unspeakable evil. Similar to Wal Mart, flea market shall try to flog to you cheap shit you'll never actually eat/use/kitten-huff/prostitute/sell, at shit-low prices. Alice Walton is in contractual talks with Josef Stalin, who acquired KFC after the KGB (after which it has now been named) kicked all their chicken-shitty-kitten-Oprah-loving-backsides. They are planning on taking over the flea market world, after having already done so with the supermarkets. Stalin once mentioned that he'd like to eat Thomas Jones, me, Oprah "The Pariah" Winfrey, and Tommy Trouble, ECWA wrestler. Sounds like a plan! But to do so, a quick takeover of flea market is essential, because you'll never get a whoompf like Oprah's anywhere else.
[edit] Fleas
Despite popular belief, flea market is not where fleas congregate. Spots may well congregate at the Pimple Convention currently being held on my face, but that's another matter. Flea market like to sell you dog collars and cheap shit like that. They like to sell you dogs, which hopefully shall be bitten by mice, bats, or kangaroos, and contract fleas, thereby urging you to go back to the flea market and purchase more shitty cheap stuff at shit-bottom prices.
