Fito Páez

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“Pff! He doesn't even have his face in a shirt.”
~ Che Guevara on Fito Páez
“I don't get a frickin' word of what this guy's saying, but he's hot though...”
~ Oscar Wilde on Fito Páez
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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Fito Páez.

Fito Páez (born Rodolfo Valentino di Paese in 1963) is an Argentine philosopher and street preacher, creator of the Simplificationist School.

Baby Páez was found semi-drowned in a puddle of water in Rosario at the approximate age of 7 days, and adopted by a couple of beggars, who raised him in abject poverty and taught him how to earn his living. He encountered letters at the age of 17, and soon abandoned his blooming career as a male prostitute to pursue the philosophical path.

One day, he wandered away from the miserable hut where he'd lived all his life, and entered the good part of town. He saw a man driving a BMW, a woman with silicon boobs and a child eating McDonald's fries. Asking passers-by what those things were, he was faced with the painful facts of life that had been hidden from him: wealth, vanity and consumerism. Confused, he sat under a chinaberry tree, and after forty days of meditating there, he was enlightened.

Páez set up an apple box in a corner and started preaching: "Wealth is the cause of happiness. If you obtain wealth, you will obtain happiness." He did this for about three months, and then started writing a book. This work, which was published under the title How To Earn Money Using Simple Words, summarized his philosophy. With the profits obtained from the first edition, Páez moved to an enclosed community in Buenos Aires and had his adoptive parents shot.

Páez is currently married to his former private bartender, Cecilia Roth, and has seven children and seven dogs. He still preaches from an apple box, but only on request (for an appointment, call +54 11 800-FITO; have your credit card at hand).

edit Quotes

  • "To give is to give."
  • "Work hard? Come-on!"
  • "A butterfly in Technicolor is the same as a butterfly in black and white, but it does look more cool."
  • "Love is like the sun, only it doesn't help your tan."
  • "I don't take amphetamines."

edit Bibliography

  • How To Earn Money Using Simple Words (1982)
  • Love DYI Manual (1984)
  • I'm In It For The Buck (1989, co-authored with Víctor Sueiro)
  • Myself And My Plasma TV (1992, re-edited 1993)
  • Forty And Still Up (1993)
  • Prince Of The Universe (2000)
  • How To Get Your Savings to the Caymans (2001)
  • Whose Are These Panties: The Book Of The Movie (2005)
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