From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Fitchburg is a community about 30 miles north of Worcester, Massachusetts.
Fitchburg was first settled in 1730 and was officially incorporated in 1764. It is named for John Fitch, a settler. In 1748, Fitch and his family were abducted to Canada by Native Americans, but returned the next year, showing the lack of common sense that residents display to this day.
Fitchburg is situated on both the Nashua River and a railroad line. At one time the Nashua River supplied the waterpower that made the mills run and was an economic engine for the region. Now the Nashua River is periodically used to flood the community. The original Fitchburg Railroad ran through the Hoosac Tunnel, linking Boston and Albany, New York. The tunnel was built using the Burleigh Rock Drill, designed and built in Fitchburg. Fitchburg was a 19th century industrial center. Now the railroad is used for commuters bringing hundreds of local residents away from the community, to areas where there is employment in fields other than prostitution and drug dealing,
Former mill towns, like Fitchburg were economic power houses producing paper and textiles at the turn of the last century, until dying off with the Great Depression and taking their present direction of never recovering. It's the whole "we can't do that" attitude that makes it a special place to live. Main Street, running though a dead downtown is lined with formerly beautiful buildings with elaborate tiled doorways on marble foundations, now rife with graffiti and boarded over windows.
edit Fitchburg Now
To an outsider, the total lack of vitality in a downtown would be a bad thing, but for a Fitchburger it's dedication to a total lack of hope
The state uses this north-central part of the state to store the unemployed and unemployable.At one time, the paper mills on the Nashua River provided employment to this community...along with multi-colored polluted water. Some say that it was this very water that created the birth defects which are so readily evident in this community.
For many years this area was represented in the Massachusetts state house by Emile J. Goguen, a graduate of the New England Air Conditioning and Technical School. He is a disabled Korean War vet. He had a career in Cambridge, Massachusetts. He was a Fitchburg city councilor for over 20 years. Along the way, inspired by recovering alcoholics on his staff, he bought a building to convert to a shelter for manic depressives and drug addicts. Naturally, in a community with no other problems, Goguen spent his time fighting gay marriage
We pause for the story of Fitchburg
Education has always been a priority in this Cleveland of New England. At the turn of the Century the "Normal School" was established to educate future teachers. This was one of the few normal things about Fitchburg. Now Fitchburg is the home of Fitchburg State College
It takes a special sort of person to live there. Someone who can take pride in living in the 345th best place to live in America. For the right kind of person, Fitchburg can be your road to success. Fitchburg's multiculturalism makes it a quality place to raise a family.
edit The Arts
Fitchburg is community of art. Bob Cormier...wait a minute, he was from Leominster. There was Henry Hikes to Fitchburg. The smiley faceof course came from Worcester. There was the pink flamingo,but that came from Leominster, with many Fitchburg residents working in the factory.
In fiction, this community has a bright future, In Harry Potter, the town is home to the Fitchburg Finches, a Quidditch team.
The popular play "Closed for Repairs" played for almost a decade at the Fitchburg Cinema.
Fitchburg, Wisconsin is more interesting.