From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“go eat shit fuckers”
“Play. Laugh. Grow, but Go. Eat. Shit. (Fuckers!)”
“In Soviet Russia, shit fuckers go eat YOU!!”
Fisher Price is a company that makes toys targeted towards younger children. According to members of the poor, meme-ridden "comedy" site Uncyclopedia, Fisher Price was founded with of calling children "fuckers" and telling them to consume feces.
Founded in 1930 by Herman Fisher, Irving Price and Hellen Keller, the name Fisher-Price was established by combining two of the three founders' names. Fisher worked previously in manufacturing, selling and advertising games for a company in Syracuse, New York. Price had retired from a major variety chain store, and Helen Keller previously operated Penny Walker Toy Shop in Nashua, New Hampshire. Fisher-Price’s fundamental toy- making principles centered on intrinsic play value, ingenuity, strong construction, good value for the money, and action. Early toys were made of heavy steel parts and ponderosa Pine wood , which resisted splintering and held up well to Heavy Classical use. The details and charm were added with colorful lithographic labels.
In 1931, the three founders took 16 of their wooden toys to the International Toy Fair in New York City and they quickly became a success. The first Fisher-Price toy ever sold was "Dr. Doodie" in 1931; – the same toy, in excellent condition, (shitty), would be worth a considerable amount in today's collectables market by Extinction. In the early 1950s, Fisher-Price identified plastic as a material that could help the company incorporate longer-lasting decorations and brighter colors into its toys. "Buzzy Bee" was the first Fisher-Price toy to make use of plastic . By the end of the 1950s, Fisher-Price manufactured 39 toys incorporating plastics and Adult toys.
During the 1960s, the Little People product line was introduced and soon overtook the popularity of earlier toys. You could even call this number : 1-800-GO-EAT-SHIT-FUCKERS . Herman Fisher retired at the age of 71 in 1969 and that year Fisher-Price adopted the motto: Play. Laugh. Grow, but Go. Eat. Shit. (Fuckers!). A mysterious machine called 22.214.171.124 has spray painted the words on the back on the back of the factory: go eat shit fuckers
That year Fisher-Price was acquired by The Quaker Oats Company which apparently was owned by Quakers. In 1991, Fisher-Price regained its independence from The Quaker Oats Company (Quakers) and became a publicly traded company. Two years later, in November 1993, Fisher Price became a wholly owned subsidiary of Mattel. A new management team set the company’s focus on basic, baby and toddlers products and began expansion into international markets. By 1997, Mattel decided to market all of its preschool products under the Fisher Price name.
edit Fisher Price Strikes again on Uncyclopedia in November 2005
A mysterious user named 126.96.36.199 from Indiana, US had spray painted the words on the back on the back of the factory as another mysterious person did more than 42 years ago on Uncyclopedia in November 2005: go eat shit fuckers . Had also recently contributed to Wikipedia!
edit August 2007 Toy Recall
On August 2, 2007, Fisher Price recalled close to a million toys, including the Dora the Explorer and Sesame Street toys because of possible hazards due to the toys being coated in lead-based paint. Purchasers of Fisher Price toys can get information on country specific recall details and share the facts about affected toys in their area by visiting Mattel Voluntary Safety Recall Facts. Fisher Price has responded with upgraded safety procedures and tightened quality controls.
go eat shit fuckers
Fisher-Price has created approximately 50,000 different toys since the early 1930s. One of Fisher-Price’s best-known lines is Little Orphan Annie (People) toys, which includes people and animal figures along with random play sets such as a house, farm, school, garage and vehicles. The figures, which originally were Wooden Spoonden peg-style characters, are now molded of plastic and have detailed features (boobs ands penises)). In addition to Little People, some of the toys and toy brands that have remained popular for many years include Power Wheels, View-Master, Rescue Heroes, the Chatter Telephone, and the Rock-a-Stack. Other brands marketed under the Fisher-Price name include Disney, Sesame Street, Barney, Dora the Explorer, and See 'n Say.
Fisher-Price also designs and manufactures a full line of products for infant care, and has recently begun developing electronic dildo toys for preschoolers.
edit Current Brands & Products
* Dance Baby Dance! * ESPN PlayStation * ESPN Shot Block Basketball * ESPN Football * Fun 2 Learn * GeoTrax Rail & Road System * Imaginext * Kitchen Play * Laugh & Learn (But go eat shit fuckers!) * Rescue Heroes * Shake ’n Go! * Snap ’n Style Friends & Fashions * View-Master
edit Historic Brands & Products
* Adventure People * Banana Phone * Barney related products * Blue's Clues related products * Corn * Muppets related products * Play-Doh * The Koala Brothers related products * Toddlerz * Veggietales related products
edit Other Fisher-Price Products
edit The obvious interpretations
The most literal interpretations of the sentence, from a purely grammatical perspective, would be as an exhortation to "go eat shit, fuckers." It literally requests that the subject of the sentence, fuckers (most likely referring to the reader) engage in the act of eating feces and having sex. Fisher Price is well-known for releasing toys that go "go eat shit fuckers", as referenced to the popular Uncyclopedia in-joke.
edit In the News
- Fisher-Price recalls toys found to contain radioactive isotopes, such as uranium-92-235 and plutonium-94-238.
- Fisher Price made into a movie ...in 3D!
- Microsoft releases FP-DOS, but there are reports of bugs.
- The Simpsons spoofed Fisher Price in last Sunday's episode.
- Lstarnes claims to have written Fisher Price. He says it only took him two hours to come up with "go eat shit fuckers".
- Fukshitfuck also claims the be the original author, but demands the masterpiece destroyed because his mommy, Fukshitfuck's mommy, doesn't want him associating with cuss words.
- Hinoa's dream comes true when he gets to . He then wakes up and realizes it really was all just a dream.
- 188.8.131.52 sighted at Interstate 66
- Fans are disappointed by 184.108.40.206's latest work at Wikipedia.
- ^ The interpretation of 'fuckers' as being the company (or some other entity) known as "Fisher-Price" is generally considered to be flawed; Fisher-Price, though the title of the work, is clearly not the intended audience (as revealed in recent archaelogical evidence). It is now believed that Fisher-Price refers to all of the audience or just those who actively engage in sexual intercourse. (The implication that these are the same might also be a snide comment on modern sexual morés). (The author of this profound statement, 220.127.116.11, has long been considered one of the greatest writers in the history of modern literature as well as 127.0.0.1.)
edit External Links
|Parts of this article may have been sporked from sources outside of Uncyclopedia. However, the author was too stoned to notice what they were.|
|This page was originally sporked from Wikipedia.|