Fire truck

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 08:17, September 14, 2011 by MadMax (talk | contribs)

Jump to: navigation, search
Bloink1 solid
It is requested that an image or images be included in this article to improve its quality.
If possible, please add some pictures to make it into a full encyclopedia article and then remove this message. Do not remove this notice until it receives some pictures. Failure to comply will result in this notice being added again.

A FiretrUCK is a dangerous feline, indigenous only to the small island nation of Australia, which also happens to be a continent founded by Johann Steinholdt Wilson. Also, firetruck is one of the only 2 words in the english language to begin with 'f' and end in 'uck'.

Darwinology

The continent itself is four ninths fire, and five ninths truck, so the evolution of the firetruck from the land itself is evident in itself due to Relativity being a well known fact, being that it is not a theory, which would be a well supported hypodermic needle. The firetruck belongs to the genus Decepticon, and is closely related to the ice cream truck which happens to make secretions similar to those of the firetruck, only below absolute zero, and far far sweeter. Thus, scientologists are led to believe that the firetruck is very closely related to the ice cream truck; perhaps they are cousins thrice removed.

History

During the Elizabethan Age (1776-20X6), firetrucks were brought from Australia to England by Vikings such as Leif Eriksson who had decided that, being tired of pillaging and raping, there was a necessity for smuggling exotic animals. Note that smuggling exotic animals into the United Spades of Amerika was illegal at this time, but the barbaric English tea drinkers had not yet passed a law outlawing the smuggling of illegal animals due to the parliament members being on vacation playing cricket.

These firetrucks carried a disease with them... the HIV. The HIV is highly contagious and can be contaged through respiratory contact, as well as penal-vaginal or penal-anal contact. This was not good for England, as their immune systems had not yet developed the vaccine for the HIV, or even cancer for that matter. Needless to say, this put a damper on English population growth, and blood tests had to be administered to people donating blood, even though it wasn't specifically stated anywhere that blood to blood contact would contage the HIV.

Even then, blood tests were futile, and eventually the population of England succumbed to lead poisoning/mad hatters disorder because the needles at the time were made out of a lead and mercury alloy.

Mating Habits

Firetrucks do it doggy style. The male firetrucks are pimps/players, and some of them are the alpha males of pods of dolphins. I mean female firetrucks. Sometimes they have group sechs, phone sechs, or even cybersechs.

Food Retrieval Habits

Firetrucks eat gazelles. In sixth gear, they can go at upwards of 150 mph, and they have a lot of torque, which definitely beats the wannabe cheetah in the face. The ladder-shaped appendage on the back of a firetruck is actually prehensile, and serves as a weapon with which to ladder gazelles to death. Firetrucks do prey on animals other than gazelles, such as Peter Griffin, or the four-legged gyropolo. When a firetruck gets a head-shot, the ambulances will have to wait their turn.

Personal tools
projects