Fire Vs. Water

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“Fire must win!”
~ Loogan Herr on Fire Vs. Water

Ah yes, the relationship between these two arch-nemeses has existed since the beginning of time the dreaded day that fire decided to mug water for all he's worth. Since then, both water and fire have long been at war.

edit Theorem

The Fire Vs. Water theorem is a fact based on one of the few logical facts anybody actually knows any more, and that is that you cannot light a fire under water, nor can either of the two be next to the other without one huffing the other.

edit Firewater


A mentally challenged artist's confusing rendition of the mixture of fire and water. Notice the similarities between this and the logo of the uncreative assholes that stole it.

Main article: alcohol

Fire-water is the biggest known non-existent creation on God's list of things not to create...Although, his drunk elf minions mixed up this list, resulting in many creations that should not have been made in the first place. Anyway, Firewater, not to be confused with vodka, is, well, self-explanatory. The existence of firewater is, of course, not physically possible in this dimension, because of many different reasons.

edit One

The temperature. Let's see, water is between 33 and 211 degrees Fahrenheit, and fire is at least 451 degrees. Do the math.

edit Two

Matter. Water is a liquid. It is everywhere on the Earth, and 95% of it is free. Fire is comprised of gas, energy, and plasma. Thus, it costs $5 for a gallon of fire. Once again: What the shit. Considering water is everywhere on Earth and almost nowhere off of it excluding Uranus, and fire is everywhere, but very rare on earth itself.

edit Three

They hate each other. Water is the bastard who exists in about .0000000000001% of the known universe. Fire is everywhere. Face it. Fire mugged, gang raped, and left water for dead. There is no way either of the two could ever have a reaction without one of them dying.

edit Epic Battles and Struggles to Coexist


This also makes little sense, as humans are 70% water. However, the 30% that isn' to be him.

Since water was created a long time ago by the Big Bang Jesus His Holy Noodliness, the battle of fire and water has been a long and hard one.

edit Fighting Fire with Water

The most well known method of coexistence. People have used water to fight fires for years(take that, you assholes!). Basically, water was the first thing that the caveman realized would actually save him, after dousing his foot with about 40 different things. Basically, without water, everyone would be on fire.

edit Fighting Water with Fire

Are you fucking retarded? Seriously? Fire does nothing but destroy and completely huff anything it can get its greedy little hands on. Why would you want to destroy water, a substance absolutely needed to sustain life? That's like using stupidity to kill intelligence.

edit Fighting Fire with Fire

This makes no sense, using a fire to put out a fire. In fact, wouldn't that just make the fire bigger? Why not just hire Osama Bin Laden to suicide bomb Osama Bin Laden? See, it makes abso-fuckin-lutely no sense.

edit Fighting Water with Water

Okay, now this is just getting ridiculous.

edit Oil

Th stupid

Lies. Lies. All Lies.

Lets face it, everything people say about Oil or Petroleum being easily flammable and capable of causing a paradox on a level that Bush or Switzerland hasn't yet is nothing more than complete bollocks. Face it, Oil is made from a liquid. Water and Oil don't have to like each other like some over-the-top gay couple, but everyone knows Oil is not flammable.

But mister! Gasoline is made from oil and it is very flammable!

No, that is absolutely incorrect. for you see, oil is a liquid. What do you use to put fires out? Don't go giving me the utter bullcrap, because the only things that can put a fire out is a liquid, whether it be water, or that semi-liquid cold whipped cream stuff they put in fire extinguishers. A liquid being flammable makes about as much sense as the George Bush administration.

edit Summary

Summary: Water and Fire will always hate each other. Never will you see anything like firewater, water on fire, or fire on water. End of story.

edit Huh?



edit See you in hell, bitches!


Where things actually make some damn sense!


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