Portal:Religion

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Holy-potato
Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.

By far the holiest portal you will ever find.



Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded man in the sky that flies around granting wishes, but there are some variations.

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The Putz Who Stole Hanukkah

ThePutzWhoStoleHanukkah
Every Jew
Down in Jewville
Liked Hanukkah a lot,
But some Putz,
Who lived just East of Jewville,
Did not!


That Putz hated Hanukkah!
The whole holiday season!
Now, please don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his bomb wasn't strapped on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his turban was too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his beard was two sizes too small.


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The epic MacGyver Manuver
If McGuyver were a Messiah, this move would convince all infidels of his holy power to kick ass.


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That was Zen, this is Tao.

~ Lao Tzu on The Hydrogen bomb.
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