Portal:Religion
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
 | Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.
By far the holiest portal you will ever find. |
|
Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded man in the sky that flies around granting wishes, but there are some variations.
Highlighted Featured Article
Drugs
|
Drugs are gifts from God to bestow the feeling of ambrosia on mere mortals. Not only are Jesus's Necessary Accessories, as He would have liked to call them, extremely cool, but they are multifunctional as well. Drugs have the unique and beneficent properties of:
- Making a person feel happy
- Making him simultaneously cool
- Making everyone else uncool until they start using drugs too.
edit Drugs throughout history
Drugs have a long and fruitful history full of magic, fancy, significance, and extremely likely exaggeration. Drug use dates back to the twentieth century B.C., where the Ancient Sumerians discovered and cultivated the drug opium. Opium served the useful purpose of keeping the Sumerian civilization occupied and satisfied when the grain crop was insufficient. A crisis occurred when the opium crop failed, but this was solved with the cultivation of codeine some two hundred years later.
Highlighted Image
Jesus survived 40 days in the desert, thanks to his trusty automatic weapon.
Books and Other Media
UnBooks - UnBooks:Pudgic Bible
UnScripts - UnScripts:Who built the moon
Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps
Religion in the News
Quote of the Week
“If you don't agree with absolutely everything I say that means God hates you and you are going to Hell”
- ~ Fred Phelps on Everyone.
Did you know...
- ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
- ...God is pissed off?
- ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
- ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
- ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
- ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
- ...Bahais have the best bud?
- ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
- ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
- ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
- ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
- ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?
Spiritually Bankrupt Articles
666 (number) - A proper Christian burial - Bad Religion - Church of Ross - Determinism - Existence of God - Freedom of speech - God Hates Fags - Hardline - Islam - JESUS 9000 - Kosher - Ludism - Monk seal - Nintendo Eightfold Path - PgUp - Qu'ran - Red Scapular - Seventh Day Adventist Church - The Divine Comedy - Unitarian Universalism - Voidism - Wheel of Deities - Xenu - Yad -
Zombie ChristianityReligious Articles That Need Help
7 Spheres of Hell - Anti-Semitism - Buffyliteralism - Church of the Divine Poultry - Deity Election - Edgar's Prayer - Freeslam - Godboost - Happy Teddy - It takes a good Muslim to work out good Islamic jokes - Jesus 2.0 - Kansas Board of Education - Luthoranism - Mentalist - Nun - Original sin - Passover - Qu'ran Canker Sore 31 - Rapist - SEC - Tao - Ultimate Question - Virgin mucus - War Against Secularism - X-treme - Yeeshism -
Zucchini
