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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.

By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded man in the sky that flies around granting wishes, but there are some variations.


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Paradise Inc.

“Kneeling, in silent prayer, I was taken by the Lord”
~ Noel Coward on Paradise

Paradise Inc., the conglomorate in which all the major Deities have employment (except me), is a company dedicated to (according to their Mission Statement) "a Wholesome, Godly alternative to the depression, misery, ignorance, hatred, sickness, death, and terrible odor human beings, our prized clients, encounter in their everyday lives."

As a responce to this blatant false advertising, Paradise is being sued by The Dark side has Cookies Enterprises for deceiving the masses (need we go on?).

Describing themselves as a "a firm for the nihilism-averse", Paradise Inc. is in the business of "providing useful Mythical stories to assuage Humanity's universal existential anguish."

Paradise Inc.'s motto is "Paradise; for a price"



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Jesus on raptor
There is some confusion as to whether Jesus actually rode a raptor, or had a pack of attack raptors.

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~ Bruce Campbell on Necronomicon Ex Mortis.

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