Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles

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Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicals, AKA Final Fantasy Crystal Meth, AKA FFCC is a straight to Gamecube video game depicting the terrorist massacre in rome, Italy in 1942. is a spin of of the Herbert G. Walker novel "Harry Potter and the Crystal Fantasy"


Contents

[edit] The Four Tribes

It stars three main characters, from four different tribes. You can play as either:

  • A Human.
  • A cross between Madonna and Darth Vader.
  • Bea Arthur.
  • And Falco (from Starfox) in armor.

    The tribes band four warriors together, something that has never been done before in a final fantasy game, and make gamers bleed money buy purchasing several GBA's and Link Cables to play the game in multiplayer.
    A single player mode is available where the player has no freinds and lives his life in solitary in his parents basement. (Note: the single player mode has been known to cause the player such anti-social syndromes as Warcraft and masturbating, and in extreme curcumstances, Kitten Huffing)

    [edit] Storyline

    The four players (assuming you have freinds) band together in search for a proper storyline and a reason to purrchase four GBA's to continue their journey and save their land from "fog" (pollution). they collect white droplets of water called "Myhrr" (or to the furry community, "Murr" and to the communist comunity, "Mir") You get trained by Stiltzken who will die. So after 6 years (you're still the size of a twelve year old!) and no phone calls to your mother you get the holy rainbow element. RAINBOW??? So you use this to go to Mag Mell where you meet these... I don't know! Caterpillers? Anyway the fuzzy caterpillers Sue Stilzken for home invasion. So you go to Mount Vellenge and you get killed... about 10 times and get to the Meteor that causes pollution through "fog" and kill it but before you can some idiot named Raem brings you to the nest of memories. Kill his friends and him mercilessly before you suffer chronic brain damage and loss of penis or if female gain of one. Kill the "idiot" and the meteor and LUCKY YOU! The game goes back as if nothing happened! Could have at least taken away the fog fucker!!! So you wasted your money of and endless game! CONGRADULATIONS BITCH!!!

    [edit] Cross overs from other Final Fantasys

    The game features many characters and items from other Final Fantasy games (including its seamless use of enemy graphics from Final Fantasy IX) including:

    [edit] Controversy

    Herbert G. Walker who wrote the original treatment for the game was sued by J.K. Rowling for his use of the name Harry Potter.


    [edit] Trivia

    • In the commentary James Cameron says that he had nothing to do with the making of this
    • In a hidden Easter Egg, Oscar Wilde can be seen in the slave shop in Lon Lon Ranch
    • when released, The baby almost fell out of his arms. at the last minute he remembered someday this baby would be a little boy.
    • during the climax, Regret and panic can be felt, along with a penis
    • In the mission "Revenge for CJ" hit A,B,A,Z,up,up,down,left,right,up,up,reset,up,L,R,Q to unlock the power button and unlimited points.
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