Fat Persons Anonymous

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A frequenter of FPA meetings unknowingly about to explode.

Fat Persons Anonymous (or FPA) is a profit organization created by Drew Carey. It has been in place since around 1776 when fat people first started cropping up and becoming a nuisance, although only recently gained national attention with their campaign to gain free Big Macs, voting rights, and general equality with the rest of the world (in that order).

Phat History

The organization has long been the whipping boy of history, beginning with being blamed for the American Revolution, the Civil War, Microsoft, and more recently, the 2000 election results. While their involvement in these events is still up for debate (some morons have even gone so far as to say that they didn't exist at the time of the American Revolution, but they were quickly stuffed in someone's basement and are only fed now and then), but they are generally ignored. During the 1800's FPA enjoyed semi-succesfulness, being only a few hundred thousand in the red every year. But then on January 1, 1900, the generally accepted day of all hell breaking loose, all hell broke loose. A new copy-cat organization for drunkies with a very similar name, called Alcoholics Anonymous, popped up on the radar, and a massive war began. This war, sometimes called World War II, killed millions of drunkies, caused millions of drunkies to kill themselves, and also caused the heart attacks of 7 really really fat people, including Dick Cheney and Oprah. This war, which raged on for 42 years, was abruptly stopped by an organization no body had ever heard of, called Sweden, who sent 3 soldiers powered with high powered giberish amplifying devices which promptly caused all enemy combatant's heads to explode.


Fat Persons Anonymous has 2 goals:

  • To help fat people cope with their condition in a morally supportive environment without actually cutting down weight, because that would decrease attendance (and incoming money)
  • To rip off sad fat people

Their slogan is "FPA, sitting on our asses and complaining since around 1776."

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