Fashion

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“And, after all, what is a fashion? From the artistic point of view, it is usually a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months”
~ Oscar Wilde on Fashion
Micpat

Two GEMMA IS THE FASHION QUEEN, demonstrated here at a recent Uncyclopedia photoshoot by Pat and Mick

Fashion is the continuing quest for the next great style. However, there are only four truly great styles, and they simply supersede one another every 6.4 months. A puzzling force, capable of altering minds to find things (such as clothes designs) completely normal at one point in time, where they would be considered completely ridiculous at any other point in time, also, completely ignored by engineers.

The four great styles are Couture, Glamour, Chic, Stylish and occasionally kittens, in that order.

BBC Desert Fashion

Unnews janjaweed

John Simpson - BBC News

BBC reporters recently have developed unique fashions for wear in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Fashion's Everlasting Extra-marital Affair with Fascism

Fashion is an offshoot of fascism, which is similar and almost as popular but less glamorous. The offshoot was started by the famous Italian leader, Benito Mussolini. A quote from his resignation to fashion on the catwalk:"Don't get me wrong I totally love being in brutal and singular control of a powerful country, but over the years it has lost it's jazz. I am just here to keep it fabulous."

Fashion has not gone without criticism through the years. It has been compared to the dumbing down of boxing to Tae-Bo, also known as boxing without the violence or beer. Like fascism, fashion is based on brutal control and with both your life is taken over and you are forced into line with everyone else.

The Muppets finally take a stand and introduce Sesame Street

Local svengali, Jim Henson and his rowdy gang of sex slaves the Muppets decided to take a stand against fashion. Stating that with "hands up their asses it was hard to change into the next faded jeans or disco ball cordoroys." The Muppets created Sesame Street, a nudist colony exclusive to muppets (a few perverted humans sneak in and chat with the residents occasionally, THAT MEANS YOU MAURICE!!), the colony attracted many now legendary folk heroes including Big Bird, Elmo and the cookie monster."

Jim Henson was quoted while washing one hand with a hairbrush, "without fashion its no longer a chore to stick my hand of their asses."

The Great Decline of Sexiness

Cape

Thanks to conservative morality, we may never get to see our grandmothers attired in traditional dresses like this one, from Transylvania.

From the beginning the importance of being sexy was a cherished ideal of fashion, when attractive cavewomen were more likely to get film roles, such as Racquel Welsh in One Million Years B.C.. What was considered sexy was, like fashion itself, constantly changing throughout history but in the 1960s the high seat of fashion, which was being re-upholstered to match that month's stripes trend, was seized by militant gorillas who, being hairy, decreed that it was unfashionable to be sexy. Almost overnight, unsexy shows and unattractive characters, such as Godzilla and Mr Potatohead, enjoyed massive sucess. The Evening News fired it's naked lesbian cheerleader anchorwomen and replaced them with boring men, many of whom had moustaches. This drew large protests from both sexy people and razor blade manufacturers, who claimed moustaches were the province of communists. Unrest reached a tipping point when The Network changed it's programme "Desperate Naked Lesbian Cheerleaders" to "Desperate Housewives" which featured many old women pretending to be young. Singer Justin Timberlake declared in his new single that he was going to "bring sexy back" and lead armed stylists in a rebellion against the gorillas. The gorillas struck back by editing Justin Timberlake's war song so that it sounded like it was made by a singing computer dueting with a white noise generator. Justin, upset that such an awful awful song was on his CD, abandoned the rising and turned to contemporary poetry. It really was an awful song. Officially it is still considered fashionable to be unsexy.

Stan Lee presents: The Rise and Fall of Fashionista

HighFashion

Lords of the Turtlenecks

The Fashionista was a fighting robot forged from the ideas and creativity of Jack Kirby and Steve Ditko. Fashionista was created by Stan Lee, though. The Fashionista later joined Scooby Doo's gang of crime solvers. When interviewed about joining Fashionista said he has three strengths,"only doing Scooby once, only one affair with the gay leader and forcing everyone else into being up with the latest fashions. After catching the local child pornographer Mr. O'Toole uttered his final and only words. "If it wer'nt for that meddling fashion and it's man slave Fashionista I would have gotten away with those pics of Macauly Culkan, because fashionista was around I had to conform to the fashion of the moment and my hoop skirt got caught in the secret bookcase doorway! CUR-" He was promptly cut short by Scooby and the other firing squad members.

Fashionista's fall began around 1970-1979. No longer needed, Fashionista fell into an endless pool of cocaine, alcohol, crime, prostitution, gambling, midgets and the collection of LEGOs. These sins combined with Fashionista's obesity finally caused his death. At the time of death his body was too large to move or bury. This was quickly solved when the Crisis of Infinite Crisis's's took place and Fashionista was totally written out of the continuity of existence.

Women and homosexuals are more interested in fashion than other humans, so if you would like to know more, you should ask them. Although, if you would like to know more about fashion, you probably are a woman or a homosexual, so you should have no trouble finding someone to ask.

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