From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
The Griffin family. From left to right: Brian, Lois, Nick, Stewie, Chris and Meg
|Genre||White supremacist comedy|
|Created by||Seth MacFatherland|
|Country of origin||England|
|Language(s)||English, our beautiful mother tongue|
|No. of seasons||8|
|Original run||1999 – present|
“I am, categorically, not a racist. White power! Kill the niggers!”
“We're going to keep trying to strengthen the American family. To make them more like the Griffins and less like the Simpsons”
Fascist Guy is a British animated television sitcom created by Seth McFatherland and broadcast by UK Hitler Channel. The series stars the Griffins, a typical white supremacist family and centres on the hilarious exploits of Nick, the head of the family and an amateur politician. The series is also broadcast in the USA, originally by Fox - however, finding Nick's views too left-wing for their tastes, Fox dropped the show in 2001. Fans must now access the Ku Klux Klan's YouTube channel in order to view episodes as to date no further mainstream television channels been willing to show the series.
Husband to Lois and father to Meg, Chris and Stewie, Nick is also chairman of the British National Party - a running gag throughout the show is Nick trying to express his views on immigration, religion and race in modern Britain and, inevitably, ending up looking foolish as other characters effortlessly pick holes in his philosophies until they fall apart. However, Nick - who is revealed as being of below average intelligence in several episodes and refers to himself as "retarded" on occasions - is unable to see the idiocy of his own arguments and continues to support them.
Nick, a sweaty and overweight man, is usually seen wearing a white shirt and green trousers - however, in one early episode Lois disturbs him in the bedroom where he is seen dressed in the uniform of a female SS officer and masturbating to a photograph of Hitler. He also has a glass eye following an accident at his holiday home in France in 1990 involving a shotgun cartridge lodged in some firewood. His behaviour suggests that the exploding cartridge also damaged parts of his brain.
Lois, wife to Nick and mother to the three children, was previously engaged as a BNP fundraiser. However, since becoming a mother she has given up party politics due to Nick's belief that "a woman's place is in the home." As a gifted pianist, she earns extra money to support her family by giving piano lessons - she reveals in episode 67 her belief that Nick has "spent his time playing at stupid politics. To Nick, it's all a game. I wouldn't mind one bit if he stopped playing make-believe, got a proper job and helped me raise his children."
- ↑ Her orchestral renditions of music by popular group Skrewdriver have achieved moderate commercial success.
Meg, at 17, is the Griffins' oldest child and is the constant target for her father's cruel humour and emotional abuse ever since Nick noticed that her trademark beanie hat looks suspiciously like a yarmulke. "Hey Meg," he asks in episode 14, "What's that on your head? That looks like a fucking Jew's skullcap to me. Are you a fucking dirty kike, Meg?" He then proceeds to savagely beat his daughter into a coma, carving a swastika into her forehead with a knife. Lois is able to pacify him, reassuring him that she would never let anyone but a white Englishman into her bed, but Nick remains suspicious and continues taking out his hatred on Meg - he eventually forces her to leave the family home. In later episodes, Nick is forced to try to claim that he is not an anti-semite; but is unable to disguise his loathing for the girl and through his behaviour towards her often accidentally reveals his true feelings about Jews.
- ↑ Note: As a fascist, Nick is unable to comprehend the idea that Jews can be both white and English - even white English Jews.
Chris is a large and hulking lad of around 14 years of age who idolises his father and acts as one of his highly-trained and disciplined bodyguards in public - that he is also intellectually simple is made evident by the fact that Nick is often successfully pelted with eggs by anti-fascist protestors, eggs that Chris could easily deflect were he able to comprehend devices as complex as an umbrella. In an attempt to clean up his party's image, Nick has demanded that all members keep themselves out of trouble and avoid violence - he is continually exasperated by his son who, like many other members, regularly succumbs to the charms of so-called Paki-bashing incidents during which they physically attack ethnic minorities.
Whereas Nick is, in many ways, little more than a briefly entertaining buffoon, Stewie appears a highly dangerous character who, as has been demonstrated on numerous occasions, has access to weapons and explosive devices.
A running gag throughout Fascist Guy has been Nick's attempts to distance himself from Stewie, his son; the existence of whom - in typical Nick style when confronted with anything he'd rather not talk about - he has on numerous occasions attempted to claim is entirely fictitious. In Episode 121, the truth was finally revealed when Lois, tired of Nick's denials that Stewie has anything to do with him, arranged a DNA paternity test which proved beyond all doubt that he is Stewie's father - a fact that many Fascist Guy watchers have suspected all along.
Prior to this, in Episode 80, Stewie successfully created a vicious right-wing extremist group known as K18 - K standing for kindergarten and the numbers 1 and 8 corresponding to the letters A and H, the first letters of the name Adolf Hitler whom Stewie openly admires. For a time, K18 was a force to be feared and was responsible for attacks on ethnic minority students at the Happy Bunnies Day Nursery, a kindergarten Stewie attended, and some members were prosecuted and imprisoned as a result.
K18's policy of recruiting the most power-crazed, violent fascists made the group almost universally dreaded; but this policy was, ironically, also responsible for the organisation's demise in the United Kingdom at least - in 1997, a row blew up between Stewie and K18 member Chris Castle over the theft of some decorating tools . Stewie, accompanied by close friend Martin, approached Castle in the kindergarten playground with a view to demanding the return of the tools. However, without warning, Stewie pulled a sharpened pencil from his pocket and stabbed Castle in the neck with it - he died as a result of the attack. Shortly thereafter, a bloody civil war broke out within the group as members began accusing one another of treachery and being undercover agents working for the British Police or Secret Service - allegations that, in time, led most members to leave the group for fear of getting grassed up to the teachers and being forced to spend time on headmistress Mrs. Beswick's naughty chair.
- ↑ Said to have been a pencil case full of crayons and a tube of glitter.
- ↑ Stewie later explained his anger as being down to fact that the pencil case also contained his "very favourite colouring pen, which does red when you draw with it but then if you go over the red with the magic ink that comes out of the other end, the red turns blue and my auntie got me that pen from Disneyworld when she went on holiday and it was my most favouritest pen ever."
Brian is the Griffin's dog but is more family member than housepet. Though proud of his white British heritage, he is also part-German Shepherd, his German great-grandfather having emigrated to London in the 1890s to be a contestant in an early Crufts dog show. Despite having many normal canine characteristics, he also exhibits highly anthropomorphic behaviour not usually seen among dumb animals and displays intelligence on a par with that of humans such as being able to hold conversation and, as was revealed in Episode 38, even teach Law and Government and Politics at college level. Although Brian fully supports Nick's policies instructing BNP members not to openly espouse racist ideals and philosophies, he sometimes speaks before thinking which can lead to embarrassment for the party as in Episode 67 when he verbally abuses a policeman of Malaysian birth, telling him that "Inferior beings like you probably do not appreciate the principle of free speech." Brian denies the incident, preferring to use the same technique as Nick - just claim it never happened and ignore any evidence to the contrary.
Quagmire, a close personal friend of Nick's, is a serial pervert who has been prosecuted on numerous occasions for his deviant sexual behaviour. This occasionally proves problematic for Nick, not least of all because the BNP proposes to reintroduce capital punishment for murderers, terrorists and paedophiles and because under Nick's guidance they've been trying to convince Britain's electorate that they are the only political party to believe in law and order, decency, family values and justice. In Episode 102, we see how Nick deals with the problem - Quagmire is called to party headquarters and Nick explains to him that if the newspapers get even a whiff of his delinquency he will be immediately expelled from the BNP. In the meantime, so long as he continues to pay his membership fee and helps raise funds, they'll turn a blind eye to it. "We have to say all that stuff just to look good, or we won't get any votes," says Nick in the episode, "But you know as well as I do that all we're really interested in is establishing a white, monocultural Britain. So don't get caught."
- ↑ Their previous public image, when they were seen as a gang of violent neo-Nazi thugs, seemed oddly to discourage people from voting for them; possibly because they were a gang of violent neo-Nazi thugs. Although that doesn't explain how Thatcher won three general elections.
The Evil Monkey
As previously stated, Chris Griffin is not academically gifted and is also prone to neurosis, occasionally displaying evidence of paranoid schizophrenia (denied by Nick, who believes that disabled people have no value and should be euthanised). Having been subjected to his father's racist tirades (which often include pseudo-scientific arguments claiming to prove that Africans are physically and mentally closer to apes than to humans) since birth, Chris suffers from hallucinations in which an evil monkey appears in his bedroom cupboard - in at least one episode, the monkey is heard to say "Yes mon - smoke dis irie 'erb and chill to de reggae beat" as it hands him a marijuana joint. When he tells his father about this vision, Nick explains it as proof that black people wish to subjugate white youths by tranquilising them with illegal drugs and that by doing so they will be able to infilitrate - and eventually destroy - white culture. "That," he tells the boy, "is why we must be ever vigilant. Never turn your back on a nigger, because a nigger is always waiting to pounce."
Mark Collet is Nick's ex boyfriend, often referred to as his "right hand man" as this is the hand he used most of the time. Mark was a friend of the family for a while, covering his enthusiastic homosexuality through tirades about AIDs monkeys and bum bandits while wearing tight white T-shirts and making little boy lost faces at Nick. Nick and Mark's relationship was an open secret in the family until they fell out, at which point Mark started sending death threats to Nick and his family, which would've been scary if he didn't look like a Depeche Mode groupie. Mark's final appearance to date was when he threw a pineapple threw the family's window and ducked for cover thinking it was a grenade.
Several critics have noted similarities between certain Fascist Guy plotlines and those of The National Front, another animated comedy created by Matt Gestapo and John Tyndall. While claims of this type have stopped short of outright accusations of plagiarism, they continue to be heard.
Theme Song and Opening Credits
|“|| It seems today, that all we see|
Is Pakis in the movies and wops on TV.
Nick's a white supremacist guy.
He's...a...National Socialist guy!
With the exception of some special themed episodes, each Fascist Guy opens with Lois sitting at a piano where she begins a song complaining about the increasing numbers of ethnic minorities found throughout Britain and lamenting the decline of "traditional" aspects of British life such as cholesterol-laden, greasy food. She is then joined by Nick, and the pair perform a duet. At the start of the second verse, the camera zooms out as the scene behind them is lifted away to reveal a large vaudeville-style stage. The couple are now dressed in Second World War SS uniform and are joined by their dog and children, who wear the uniform of the Hitler Youth, and perform a tightly-choreographed dance routine that ends with all six raising their right arms in a synchronised Nazi salute.
Episode 14: Meg-aresh Zayn!
The Griffin family sit around the dinner table, eating a traditional British meal of curry and lager (Nick refuses to "eat any of that foreign shite," as he constantly tells anyone who will listen). They chat with one another, discussing their day, but Nick is uncharacteristically quiet - he glowers at Meg and it is obvious that he has something on his mind.
"What's that on your head, Meg?" he asks, putting down his knife and fork.
"It's my beanie, Dad," she tells him. "I'm surprised you've only just noticed it, I wear it all the time."
"Beanie? That looks like a fucking Jew's skullcap to me," he explodes. "Are you a fucking dirty kike, Meg? Lois - get this filthy Yid out of here - she's putting me off my dinner."
Lois does not act quickly enough and Nick loses his temper. He jumps up, knocking the table over with his not-inconsiderable gut, and leaps at Meg. Grabbing her by the hair, he repeatedly punches her in the face and smashes her head against the floor while screaming, "Fucking Jews! Fucking mean, Christ-killing, big-nosed bastards!" until she loses consciousness and slips into a coma. He then picks up a knife which was knocked to the floor when the table went over and uses it to incise a deep swastika wound into the girl's forehead. When she awakes, some weeks later, he tells her that she is an enemy of the Aryan people and is no longer welcome in the Griffin home - this being the inspiration for the episode's title, a combination of the name Meg and the Yiddish term megaresh zayn, "be banished."
In Episode 197 (see below), Nick tries to take advantage of a perceived hatred of Muslims by Jews, trying to persuade Jewish locals to sign his petition demanding that a Muslim family in the area move elsewhere ("preferably back to wherever they came from," says Nick - which turns out to be Yorkshire). In an attempt to disprove allegations that he is an anti-semite, Nick invites Meg to return home explaining the incident as "not, I repeat not, racially motivated. It was not anti-semitic. I cannot have carved a swastika into her head, because I don't even know what a swastika is. And I have no hands, so it'd have been impossible. Those things on the end of my arms..? Oh no - those are, erm, my ears. Actually, what's a Nazi, while we're on the subject? In fact, it never happened. The BBC and the Guardian made the whole thing up. Bloody Jew-loving lefties. Er...I mean..."
Episode 49: Universally Challenged
Nick is always bragging that he was educated at Downing College, University of Cambridge. Trouble is, hardly anyone believes him as they're all convinced he's a lying Nazi toad - everyone is amazed when he provides a certificate to prove that he actually was at Cambridge, and what's more he even managed to get a degree! Unfortunately, he neglects to mention the finer details and is embarrassed when reporters discover that his degree is a Second Class Honours (Lower Division) or 2:2; not actually a very impressive qualification even if it did come from a posh college. Nick seethes, angry at being made to look like a bit of a twat, but suddenly has a bright idea: "I can turn this to my advantage," he thinks, "I'll just claim that the reason I got a crap degree is because of all these bloody foreigners coming over here and taking the First Class degrees, so there's none left for white British people like me!" He sticks to this argument and reels it off to anyone who will listen, but he still looks like a bit of a twat.
Episode 60: The British Empire Strikes Back (Something, Something, Something Right Wing)
This, a rare hour-long feature episode, is loosely constructed as a parody of Star Wars V - The Empire Strikes Back and casts Fascist Guy characters in roles inspired by the little-known 1980 movie. In it, Nick decides that the only way to convince society that the white man is superior to all other races is to return to the days when Great Britain ruled the world, to repatriate all ethnic minorities living within her borders and to force them to live in a subjugated and oppressed state back in the countries their ancestors originally came from. He is soon successful in persuading others that his plan will be an effective way of lifting Britain out of economic recession, using financial downturn in the standard way that far-right groups do to convince politically central voters made desperate by unemployment and public spending cuts to support him, aided by the fact that a large percentage of the British population are sufficiently unintelligent to fall for his "Make Britain Great Again" campaign provided he has enough Union Jacks, pictures of Churchill and Spitfires to keep their attention. Before long, immigrants are being sent by the boat-load to warm, sunny countries far away, while the British wait in their damp island home to reap the rewards.
Tragically for Nick, he has neglected to take two important factors into account. One, he's just sent several million hard-working tax-payers overseas which means that, if he is to keep the promise of increased public spending that he made in order to get into power in the first place, he's going to need to ask white British people to pay more taxes. When the Public discover this, the massed sound of early morning cups of tea being spluttered over Daily Telegraphs, Suns and Mails is feared to be an early herald of revolution. Secondly, he soon finds that he has greatly over-estimated Britain's greatness - it seems that Britain is no longer the financial and industrial powerhouse that is was during Victorian times and running an Empire is now far beyond the nation's economic capabilities. Before long, Britain has to ask the International Monetary Fund for an extension on its credit card overdraft limit but, after carrying out a credit check and discovering that it hasn't been paying the monthly installments on that new sofa it ordered from a mail-order catalogue three years ago, it is denied. Britain files for bankruptcy and, within a year, is reclassified as a Third World state by the United Nations. Finally, to add insult to injury, two santimonious African rock stars organise a huge concert to raise money for Britain's starving millions - so Nick looks, once again, like a bit of a twat. Worse still, England has just lost most of her best sportsmen and will never win either the cricket or World Cup ever again.
- ↑ Even if they are Polish Spitfires.
- ↑ Keeping the attention of the British Public is notoriously difficult to achieve, especially if Pop Idol is on television.
- ↑ And that, boys and girls, is why voting BNP is a very silly thing to do.
Episode 197: Hava Nickila
Nick is disgusted to discover that a Muslim family has moved into a house down the road. He immediately organises a petition among local white residents to force them out; claiming that not only will property prices fall, young white women will be at risk of being raped by predatory Muslim men. However, to his shock, he finds that most locals really don't care about the Muslims who have taken over the local shop - in fact, some of them are rather happy because the shop is now open until 11pm every night and sells more interesting food than the Spam and stale white sliced bread which was all it stocked when Old Mrs. Jenkins ran it. Eventually he is successful in getting almost as many signatures as he needs - but it's not quite enough. There's only one thing he can do... persuade local Jewish family the Goldmans to sign. The rest of the episode follows Nick's hilarious slapstick attempts to convince them that although he has previously referred to the Holocaust as the "Holohoax" and verbally abused Jews, he was never an anti-semite and has been grossly mis-quoted. The doorstep conversation that takes place between Nick and Mort Goldman is reproduced below:
Nick: "I can assure you I have never been an anti-semite."
Mort: "But you said you thought it was a pity Hitler didn't finish what he started."
Nick: "No, I never said that."
Mort: "You did [produces video evidence]. You see? You clearly say, "All Jews are bastards and it's a pity Hitler didn't gas the lot of them." It was on the news. Everyone in the country knows you said it. Plus there was that book you wrote, called The Jews Control Everything And It's A Pity Hitler Didn't Gas The Lot Of Them."
Nick: "Er...oh yeah. I might have said that, but it's not what I meant. Sieg heil! Oh shit...um...I mean, sign here?"
Mort: "Fuck off."