Fascist

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[[Image:Mussolini.jpg|thumb|If you are so much as five minutes late for work, this man will put it on your employee record]]
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Formerly a follower of the doctrine of [[fascism]], a vicious political philosophy of militarist totalitarianism. Nowadays, the word '''fascist''' refers to anyone who annoys you, even slightly.
 
Formerly a follower of the doctrine of [[fascism]], a vicious political philosophy of militarist totalitarianism. Nowadays, the word '''fascist''' refers to anyone who annoys you, even slightly.
   
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==Fascists—Old vs. New==
 
==Fascists—Old vs. New==
[[Image:Mussolini.jpg|thumb|If you are so much as five minutes late for work, this man will put it on your employee record]]
 
 
===Old School Fascists===
 
===Old School Fascists===
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[[image:Han Solo Mussolini Thumb.jpg|thumb|150px|An old-school fascist with a blaster.]]
 
* Would assault political enemies, sometimes forcibly feeding them castor oil to symbolically "purge" the opposition and to humiliate the individual in question.
 
* Would assault political enemies, sometimes forcibly feeding them castor oil to symbolically "purge" the opposition and to humiliate the individual in question.
 
* Imprisoned and tortured those who disagreed with fascist doctrine.
 
* Imprisoned and tortured those who disagreed with fascist doctrine.

Revision as of 02:58, July 30, 2005

Mussolini

If you are so much as five minutes late for work, this man will put it on your employee record

Formerly a follower of the doctrine of fascism, a vicious political philosophy of militarist totalitarianism. Nowadays, the word fascist refers to anyone who annoys you, even slightly.

Why exactly the fascists stopped strutting around in black shirts publicly assaulting their enemies, and started correcting the spelling of your e-mails and telling you off for not washing your coffee cup is unknown.

Fascists—Old vs. New

Old School Fascists

Han Solo Mussolini Thumb

An old-school fascist with a blaster.

  • Would assault political enemies, sometimes forcibly feeding them castor oil to symbolically "purge" the opposition and to humiliate the individual in question.
  • Imprisoned and tortured those who disagreed with fascist doctrine.
  • Invaded Ethiopia, Libya, Albania and Greece.
  • Made deals with the Nazis, plotting to conquer the world.
  • Coerced and controlled businesses and unions alike.
  • Ruthlessly censored all forms of the media.
  • Rebuilt whole societies on a foundation of fear and intimidation.

Modern Fascists

  • Insist that you order your meal before being seated.
  • Want to see two forms of ID, at least one of which having a picture on it.
  • Put you on hold.
  • And then have the nerve to say that your call is important.
  • Shush you at the movies.
  • Hassle you when you take your time ordering at McDonald's
  • Give you a parking ticket.
  • Are even slightly to the right of you, politically. (Note that those who are slightly to the left of you are Communists)
  • Don't even listen to your side of the story.

In recent years, the marauding bands of fascists, communists, Nazis, and socialists responsible for these and other outrages have largely vanished, with recent statistics showing that over 73% of minor irritations are now caused by terrorists.

Alternative views

On Wikipedia, a fascist is somebody with political views that the user that last edited the article on Fascism disagrees with. They commonly meet in the fascist discussion board Wikipedia:Talk:Fascism. There, they plan edits to the article, using political models with as few dimensions as possible. Then, anonymous users vandalize the article, a pattern that is not uncommon on Wikipedia.

See also

Fascism

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