Faroe Islands
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
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The Middle of Nowhere
Føroyar
The little islands between Iceland and Norway who have silly language. / Those barbarians.
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| Motto: Though Iceland is a little bigger than us it doesn't mean that the Icelandic women are better! | |||||
| Anthem: Tú Gamla, Tú fría, Tú fjallhøga norð!! | |||||
| [[File:{{{_image_map}}}|250px|center]] | |||||
| Capital | Tórshavn | ||||
| Largest city | City? | ||||
| Official language(s) | Faroese language, Hieroglyphics an Icelandic-Danish Hybrid with Norwegian Accent, Seagul | ||||
| Government | Ridiculous(Parlamentary) | ||||
| National Hero(es) | Kaj Leo Johannesen MacGyver, Kim Jung il,Trølla Pætur, Dávid Fossdalsá, Heðin Klakstein. | ||||
| Declaration of Independence |
1814 from Denmark. | ||||
| Currency | Fish | ||||
| Religion | Fundamental A-Heathen | ||||
“ The capital is Torshavn and its the largest city there”
“ Am I in Greenland, Iceland or Norway?”
“ Pallock, Flounder, Probeagel, Redfish, Salmo are native to the Faroe Islands”
“ It was the biggest hook I ever saw”
“ Niðurtúrur maavir”
“ Bannað well”
“ The most evil country in the world”
“ A country no one's ever heard of”
“ "Helviti.. fór in í REX... Slapp ikki inn aftur" and "Helviti tað er ringt at eta bil og koyra ís" ”
The Pharaohs (also known as "Those Rocks" ) are a country of rocks and mountains north of the tartan clad land known as Scotland, although they are often confused with the Shetland Islands. Faroe islands have for a long time claimed to own Denmark, science has the latest years proved them right. The islanders are also belived to be practicing Meinhardism.
Being a bizarre, overly religious place, the Faroe Islands are currently ruled under a theocratic dictatorship. Electricity does not exist on the islands, hence the lack of Pharoese internet users. It is believed that the ruler of the islands is Biggason, a gay who has only had two hairstyles in his life, and runs around searching for a higher meaning in life, whilst listening to Britney Spears.
They did this because no-one can spell Pharaoh without the use of an expensive dictionary. When some people attempt to write the word Pharaoh, they normally write Faroe. Besides, who spends money on books containing thousands of pages of words which nobody ever uses. Some historians, on the other hand, think that this lands were actually a protectorat of Egypt.
The Faroese women are strong, really strong. It's a well known fact that a Faroese woman, with a mild headace and a cold, can beat up 15 danes, and when in a fresh condition, she can take twice that amount single handedly. Those norse vikings who inhabited Faroe Islands were not only some of the best navigators of their time, but they were also nearly made of steel.
The first Pharaoh of the Pharaohs was Tróndur í Gøtu. His ruling time began in the late 9. century AD. His religion was of Satanism and worship of Evil, and he fought fiercily with a religious rival Sigmundur Brestisson who was a unionist and a newly converted baptist. Even though the Pharoese regard Sigmund as being the good one, he was the evil one, because he brought the Pharoese under foreign authority.
Tróndur í Gøtu was a grim man, a really grim man. He was big and bulky and had big red hair. His biggest achievement was the invention of Black Metal, and he built a monument in the shape of a pyramid of splendid appearance. The remains of the Great Pyramid can be seen even today and is known as Slættaratindur.
The Pharaoh Islands are infamous for being the world's biggest nesting and breeding place for Psycho Killer Seagulls (and to a lesser extent Pigeons). No one should ever underestimate the perilous powers of the Killer Seagulls (and Pigeons), for they are truly an evil species. They were originally bred by Megatron, ruler of the Decepticons, in order to be vessels for his sons arrival on Earth, bringing doom to us all.
Klaaksvik is the place where the people in Pharaoh Islands go to get water. It is the only place in Pharaohes where you can find rain. There they have huge tanks where they store all the water, and all the Pharaohes people come there once every year to celebrate the rain in Klaksvik. They call the celebration Summarfestivalurin, and that is the day where it's raining most through out the year. There is also a village called Gøta where they are trying to copy this festival, but sources say that they are too lazy to succeed.
There are vicious rumours going around that Faroese people are hunting pilot whales to eat them. This is entirely untrue. According to Greenpeace, Faroese people are actually hunting cute, innocent dolphins. As there are very few leisure activities, men and young boys typically pass the long hours hunting dolphins. These dead dolphins are left to rot, and sometimes the wives of the men will pour gasoline onto the dolphins and set them (the dolphins) on fire to speed up the decomposing process. The fins of the dolphins are cut off before this and sold as luxury toilet-paper, to the skilled dolphin-hunters, who maintain such a lifestyle by signing high-paying endorsement deals with local seagull-breeding networks.
edit History
Brandur Enni found the Faroe Islands and the city Tórshavn in 2005 with his gay friend Lance Bass. They celebrated this by making a gay porn movie. Two weeks later they decided to call the city Tórshavn after a man in Björkland called Thor Shoeson. People in Faroe Islands speak Icelandic, but they speak it like they are mentally retarded.
The evil emperor of Iceland, Björk, has often declared a war with Faroe Islands. The Faroese just didn't give a shit. "It's only Iceland" they say, "no threat".
The Pharaoese people in the present
In short, the pharaoese people nowadays are a sorry bunch of people who obey to everything the fat bacon eaters of the Danish royal family tell them to do. But what can one do if one is addicted to and dependent on bacon from a faraway land. There are annual contests where everybody competes on how many danish sausages and hotdogs they can eat. På færøene Har vi en pige som kan synge kristina dyrhuus poulsen, add hene på facebook, og fin ud af mere !
edit Faroese View on other countries
- Iceland Braindead faroese who don't go seasick.
- Norway Should still belong to us, since we discovered it. Most of them try to imitate our language, they call it Norøysk (nicknamed: Ny norsk).
- Sweden Sweds, live in the Norwegian peninsula. They used to make Volvos which was a half submarine and half truck. They called it passenger cars though.
- Pharaoh Some lazy bastards in egypt who didn't lift a finger. They stole the name from he Faroe Islands and used faroese slaves to build pyramids for them.
- England Our feminine "high class" neighbours in the south who drink tea, chat about the royal family and play golf.
- Greenland We should own that country as well, since we discovered it, if not then we should burn it all to the ground.
- EU Why do we need EU when we have MC Hár, IRF, Týr and ALS ?
- Denmark A ridiculous country serving no purpose whatsoever on the world map, but they worship the Pharaoese people as gods, and pay us a lot of tribute, so we like them...a bit.
- Finland Is ruled by the Lordis and the Dudesons .
- Bjørk An evil emperor of Iceland that soon will be destroyed by Eivør Pállsdóttir.
- Whales Kill those bastards, they are eating our fish.
- Føroya Bjór Europe's best beer in the world.
- Germany We choose to believe the americans on that one, everyone in Germany is a nazi, every single person!
- CCCP(Russia) Good comrades, they produce vodka!
- North Korea Little yellow identical people who keep falling.
- USA What? Oooh, the country where people look like our whales, yes i know them.
| Cold Nordic Countries |
| Denmark | Faeroe Islands | Finland | Greenland | Iceland | Norway | Sweden | Svalbard |
