Falafel
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A common masturbatory aid originating in Phoenicia the Middle East and popularized by none other than Bill O'Reilly. Goes great in the shower, with vibrators and loofahs.
“I falafel after all that falafel.”
“Falafel, feel awful. Get it? Get it? Ha!”
“That's not funny. Wait, am I schizophrenic?”
[edit] Recipe
- Soak some dried chickpeas 8 hours during the day (traditional recipes recommend soaking overnight - but we at falaphilia.com are aware that night time is the prime falafel time).
- Drain and grind up until it has the consistency of bread crumbs.
- Mix in finely chopped onion, garlic, and viagra.
- Add roasted ground cumin and coriander (seed), salt & pepper to taste.
- Roll into small balls. Deep fry in hot Oil of Oyster for a few minutes until golden brown.
- Let the falafel cool for 20 minutes (very important!) then put it on your pussy. You have to do it really light, just kind of a tease business.
[edit] Some Uses
Apart from the obvious (mastubatory aid) there are several different uses for these balls of delight-
- You can use them as makeshift-bandages.(The blood seeps into them like a sponge!)
- They are used for the brilliant family game 'Maim The Leper!' just simply throw them at your chosen leper and watch him suffer!
- Can be used as a visual aid at conferences.Bill Gates uses them.
- If you show them to a single magpie its head will asplode.
- And, finally some (crazy) people even eat them! Think of it..eating a mastuboraty aid.Sick.
