Fairies

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Herpesfairy

This atypical fairy is barefoot. In fact, most fairies wear boots.

“Yo' momma is a fairy”
~ The kid next door

Fairies are small, flying humanoids hunted for their meat and wings. While the fairy trade is legal, it is heavily restricted and penalties are severe. Therefore fairies and fairy parts are most easily obtained through the Black Market.

Fairy wings are powdered and used as a powerful aphrodisiac by the Dutch. Fairy juice is sometimes served hot at holidays, and may also be used as a sexual lubricant, as it is almost as slippery as Harpy Ooze and much easier to acquire. The flavour of fairy meat is largely dependent on the breed, age, and sex of the fairy. Dragons are known to be fond of the taste of fairies.

Most common is the Green Fairy, followed closely by the Red Fairy and Blue Fairy. Magical Paper Fairies are very rare. Fairies are magical, however they are less magical than Mickey Mouse.

Fairies are extremely long lived in the wild, some even reaching ages close to Dick Clark and Cher! Their age may be determined by counting the rings inside them after cutting them in half.

Sprites (a clever, wingless, tangy fairy) are used to make the beverage Sprite.

edit The many uses for fairies

200px-Naruoddparents-1-

NEVER request fairies to fullfiling your sadistic wish.

Like Greek gods, there are different types of fairies depending on their use. Most fairies are used for completing phenomena and tasks of nature. However, some fairies may rape their hosts in the end. The gaming hero Link is known to huff fairies.

edit Handy tip

Using a process of partial distillation, it is possible to reduce Fairy Liquid washing-up, um, liquid down to concentrated fairy powder. Fairy powder has many uses; for example as a powerful hallucinogenic. This practice was wide-spread in rural parts until as late as the 1950s, but has become rarer and was made illegal by the British government in 2007 due to the decreased numbers of wild fairies, believed to be caused by the unusually wet weather during the early summer causing the death of that year's annual fairy crop during the chrysalis stage.

edit Gore

Live fairies were involved in the creation of Al Gore.

edit See also

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