Failure University

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Failure University
Failure U Logo
Motto Saepe Fefello (Always Failing)
Established 2006
School type Public
Head B Dubs
Location Upper Levels, Hell, Underworld
Campus Fire and Brimstone
Faculty 666
Mascot Demon

Failure University (or FU) is a public coeducational university in Hell (with branches in Amsterdam and Mexico City). The university's professional graduate schools in the fields of information science, law, medicine, business, engineering, public policy, and education or its undergraduate programs are consistently not ranked by US News & World Report in the top 10 in the country. FU is a mother school to Failure Unversity Center in Kansas(Hell on Earth)also call FUCK.

History

Img 4943
The original math department in session before the real fire.

When hell was formed in 2005, the devil decided he needed a place for all the future failures to go instead of decent colleges. Thus, FU was born. There is only one student/faculty/president, B Dubs. The school is looking for students who realized as they completed the college admissions process that they do not qualify for any of the "prestigous" schools but also don't want to go to a "community college". They have no idea what they're in for...

Academic profile

FU is a large school where students are simply not taught because their intelligence does not allow it. Unlike some traditional universities, classes consist of torture and beatings. Students who manage to graduate from FU are given a STFU - (Sertificate of Training from Failure University).

Research

FU prides itself on using its $666 budget to explore new and more exciting ways to torture its students. Some breakthroughs the school is know for are:

  • The introduction of the term "lol"
  • The penny.
  • Music by Paris Hilton or Cher

Libraries and museums

The FU library is a wind-tunnel and lacks books in the traditional sense. Instead, bricks are flung at those foolish enough to enter the structure. The museum is pit.

Campus

Volcano
The secret volcano entrance
The campus is really hot. The entrance is a secret volcano deep within the heart of Constantinople. "Hot" locations on campus for pupils to "hang out" (on ropes) are everywhere - literally there are students hanging from ropes virtually anywhere on campus.

Athletics

The university's only sport is the crushing of student's hopes... which can be quite fun...

Student life

Residential life

Students can choose to live either in molten rocks, lakes of fire, or Satan's beaver

Groups and activities

File:Pi Dance.gif
*The Tuned Impalers most used "instrument"
The "Tuned Impalers" which make use of the student audience and the tool at right together to make... music.

Student government

The student government is known to "crack down" (again, literally) on students who fail to go to class, though failure is the basis for the school. Notably, the president of the Sophomore class government robbed a Wachovia Bank because he was short on dough and it was lunch-time, so he made a pizza.

See also


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