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“You can program FORTRAN in any language.”
~ C programmers on FORTRAN
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Formula translation before and after

Main article: Fortran

Fortran is a form of sign language, invented by computer scientists in the late 1890s to program Babbage's Analytical Engine (although a very early alpha version of it was discovered in the late 1990s that was used around 2500 BC for the programming of ancient Sumerian abacuses). A high-level language, Fortran is modelled on the natural language used by its inventors, formal logicians and matrix mathmagicians. It offers such features as native multi-dimensional arrays, good support for autovectorization, a complex number type, and exuberant comments.

A Hollow Voice Says What Now?

Fortran is often used as a trade pidgin in the archipelagos of the South Pacific and the slums of Istanbul. There are indications that it undergoing creolization; the emerging language has been given the working name CPL by computer linguists.

Fortran gets its name from the second daughter of the Project Manager. As a baby, the little girl was a fussy eater, and had trouble translating from formula onto more solid foods.

At its high point, Fortran was used permanently for writing high end graphics based games such as the now classic 'Adventure' and occasionally for predicting the weather (which is Crazy). Oh, and if you know what's true about the last sentence, then you really are mr/mrs nerdykins. Go slap yourself with a wet Plugh.

Unfortunately the success of Fortran did not last forever, after the introduction of more complex programming languages such as English and Java which allowed much naughtier variable names.

See Also

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