From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“FIAT-Futile Italian Attempt at Transportation”
“FIAT-First in all trouble”
“Fix It Again Tony ”
“I participated in dogging in my FIAT”
“Putting a steam engine in a FIAT would be like putting a big black penis in me - bloody glorious!”
“ FIAT- F***king Insult to Advanced Technology”
Fix It Again Tony or Failure In Automotive Technology or FIAT is a luxury Italian automotive manufacturer which makes limited number sports cars to compete with Lamborghini, Pagani, McLaren and is intended to fit in above Ferrari of which FIAT owns. It was established in 1647AD when reborn, reborn Jesus decided to reward the Catholic Church for being so devoted to Christianity by building the Pope a luxury 2-seater sports car to allow him to travel long distances on the, then, unbuilt Italian motorways to visit his fellow relgious idiots.
The current model range consists of only a handful of vehicles, although it is believed there have been many more models, car journalists believe that they oxidised before ever being viewed by the general public.
Current Models: Panda - The modern take on a car that, in it's first incarnation, allowed 14674 Italian children to sit on the back seat with enough room to wave their hands about at other motorists for no real reason - this was ideal for the average Italian family but not for any bugger else.Oh and the old one was much better. It was great for summer drives in a turd on wheels!!
Grande Punto - A Punto, which is widely known as a car driven by 17 year olds in '55 S' trim because their communist parents won't buy them a Ford Focus, but just a little bit bigger. Currently Hitler drives a Grande Punto as VW have totally ruined his new Beetle of which he describes as 'a fucking Golf unt a Mexican hat'.
Nuova Bravo - A car for people who can't afford a Golf and for FIAT salesmen to drive as company cars. Has a toilet built into the drivers seat so he can poo on the move - this new technology won an international design award in 2007 which means jack shit to anybody.
Multipla - A car come bus come van thing which is solely intended for the blind motorist market - incredibly ugly which can scare inbreds into stop loving their sisters. A popular option is swearing SATNAV that helps the blind driver not to crash by adding extreme swearing to the basic direction commands: 'Turn left you blind cunt' and 'Slow down you fuck tard can't you see the lights are on red? Oh no, my mistake you're blind, dick head' are just two of the many commands given by this system.
Some larger dealers also sell the FIAT owned Maserati Quattroporte which was designed to compete with budget saloons like the Kia Kiacrap and the Hyundai Crap-on-wheels - but these Korean cars cost over 12 times more and just aren't competitive with the £70000 Maserati for the budget conscious motorist.
As of 2008, the new ranges to be introduced in 2009 are the Fiat Pity and the Fiat Debacle
FIATs are engineered to lose a part every 13 miles - the most prone is the engine at around 26 miles, this can cause serious problems for users who don't sell their cars on for 1% of the purchase price after the 20 minute or 25 miles (which ever comes first) manufacturers warranty expires as a new engine costs more than the original vehicle.
If a FIAT is purchased by an Muslim customer, due to the racist views of FIAT, the car will automatically use it's 'suicide bomber' standard equipment to take care of the driver and his large family.
FIAT is an accronym for: Fix It Again Tomorrow
FIAT bought Chrysler in 2009.
FIAT was arranged to be bought by GM Motor's but talks broke down.(Just like all their cars).
FIAT will soon be merged with Škoda, analysts believing it to end up as FiaSko Corporation.