Federal Communications Commission
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“The FCC is short for The Fucking Cocksucking Cuntsandwiches”
Federal Commission of Cusswords or FCC (also known as Fucking Cock Crammers, Freedom Control Coalition, Federal Censorship Commission, Fucking Corporation Coddlers, Fascist Communist Cocksuckers, Fucking Communication Cunts, faggoty cock-blocking clamfuckers, and Feminist Conversation Control), pronounced "FUCC; plural 'FCCs', pronounced 'faeces'", is the body responsible for the education of the United States populace in the correct use of profanity. Recent press releases indicate the FCC will change their name to the Ministry of Truth, which will go by the shorter name minitrue. The purpose of existence to get rid of every anime and heavy rock in the world.
Constant violators of FCC regulations are often taken away by men in black suits and sent to FCC Concentration Camps for brainwashing reeducation.
Public statements from the FCC regarding the constitutionality of their existence: "Yeah we're infringing on your right to free speech and what the fuck are you going to do about it?"
The current head of the FCC is Shirley Phelps Roper.
[edit] Example of FCC Regulation
A recent FCC communique to all radio and television stations contained the following advice:
FCC IS THE SHIT
- To whom it may concern,
- It is with growing concern that we at the FCC have learnt of inappropriate usage of the following words: bastard, shit, fuck, cunt, piss, Martha Stewart; and the concatenations "cocksucker", "Marthafucker", "asshole", "shitcock", "chickenspooge" and "antifreeze".
- Anyone found to be broadcasting these words inappropriately will face strict financial penalty. In particular, we draw your attention to the following guidelines:
- Bastard can only refer to fuckheads of the male gender
- Cocksucker can trip up the unwary leading them to pronounce it "Sockcooker" - avoid this pitfall by using simpler phraseology such as "giver of fellatio"
- When the word fuck appears in print be warned that a simple exchange of characters can lead to infringement of trademark
- All the above words in all grammatical forms can be utilised at any time to avoid staleness and repetition, for example, the phrase "Fuck off" can be replaced with "Martha Stewart's moist plum dumplings"
- As always we do remind you that if you have children amongst your audience please be sensible and ensure they grow up with the correct profanity habits,
- Sincerely,
- The FCC
- P.S. - Can somebody please tell us why Bucocky means? It's driving us crazy!!
[edit] The Secrets of the FCC REVEALED!
Sorry, this was cencored by the FCC because it involves badness.
So yeah, most of those fuckers at the FCC are stoners and deserved to get fist fucked cause they censor lots of shit. Their secrets are that they're all addicted to drugs and shit. I know a few guys who work for them and they all get stoned and drunk and have dirty sex with male gigolos and horses; its a fucking ape fest down there!
[edit] Testimonials
“I Bet Razgriz Hates The FCC.”
“You guys suck!”
“The FCC fined CBS for my breast at the super bowl.”
“Treehugging hippies!”
“Hulk smash the FCC!”
“I hate the FCC bitch!”
“These guys must be the work of Satan!”
“I heard that.”
“I love the FCC.”
“Isn't the FCC an organization run by soccer mum's to make the world as oppressed as they are?”
