FBI Ten Most Wanted Fugitives
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The Group behind the List
Original known as the Federal Bureau of Inhalation (Or FBI). The FBI was created by Abraham Lincoln to hunt down southern Traitors but was later used by Andrew Johnson to spread white supremacy. The Group was soon after disbanded. The Group saw new life when it was reformed under J. Edger Hoover and renamed The Federal Bureau of Investigation.
The List was first introduced by Hoover as a way to help his men recognize the more dangerous criminals. Officers, agents and law men were suggested to avoid these men. However members of the FBI created a sport where whoever caught one of these criminals would receive a large payment from other agents. Soon criminals who were put on the list would be found in under 24 hours. Hoover chose to start issuing rewards for such criminals. This action gave Agents even more incentive and the list was kept in operation.
Over 4000 people have been on the list, however in 2001 few stayed on the list for more then a few hours because the American television audience watching America's Most Wanted would spot them and think the reward was Dead or alive. The show was soon canceled and the list continued under normal use.
In 2007 News Journalist Steven Colbert asked President George W. Bush the fate of list members who were captured. The President at first stated that most list members are killed upon capture, but after 2001 feeling they need to perform more torture and learn to take prisoners the United States Senate voted to send List Members to an undisclosed location to be imprisoned pending on the savagery of their crime. Mr. Colbert was unable to learn of the location as President Bush was taken away by Barack Obama's administration shortly after he entered office
|Osama Bin Laden||Septmber 11, 2001||#911|
| Osama bin Laden is wanted "in connection with the September 11 Attacks and a bunch of other stuff that is totally legit but we don't have time to list here" by orders of George W. Bush. A reward for his capture is currently placed at $200 Million for his capture dead. Anyone who captures him alive will also be executed.
Yes that is correct, he is not dead. But let's keep that hush hush.
|Ronald McDonald||June 28, 2009||#666|
|Ronald McDonald is wanted by the government of China and the United States due to his involvement in the Earthquake attacks on China in 2008. He is also wanted for questioning about the spread of two major diseases involving the 2009 H1N1 epidemic caused by switching his beef burgers with pork burgers and the worldwide epidemic of the disease commonly referred to as "redheadedness". Current reward stands a $150 million. April 26 UPDATE: new evidance points to McDonald being a member of the Nazi Party and having committed War Crimes, Status to be adjusted at a later date.|
|Captain Jack Sparrow is wanted by the United States Government for seducing millions of fan girls and starring in three very VERY bad movies. He is also wanted by England for impersonating a officer of the Royal Navy and a clergyman of the Church of England. Reward currently stands at $100 Million.|
|Elmo||November 18, 1985||#123|
|Elmo (the one in red) is wanted by the United States government for corrupting America's youth by having them watch TV and bug their parents to buy them load toys instead of being chore slaves like they should be. Reward stands at $120 Million|
|Keanu Reeves||March 15, 2010||#9344|
|Actor Keanu Reeves is wanted for his part in the death of fellow actor Jeff Bridges who was killed with an Oscar award. Also wanted for questioning and possible role in the deaths of 32 other actors and actresses at the Academy Awards. Also wanted for questioning about the Murder of all 17 members of the The Council of Academy Awards. Reward stands at $120 Million.|
|Boba Fett||Augest 31, 2009||#1138|
|Former Hip Hop rapper Robert 'Bubba' Fett otherwise known as Boba Fett is wanted mainly for connections to the death of several Marvel Super Heroes, a group of Ewoks, and is wanted for questioning in the Murder of fellow artist Michael Jackson. Recently released book Freaknik: I didn't do it! stating he is somewhere in Cambodia. Reward currently stands at $100 Million.|
|Gordon Freeman||February 19, 2010||#776|
|Doctor Gordon Freeman is wanted for the death of 300 employees of the Black Mesa Research Facility, and is also wanted for 10 years of countless murders across the mid-western United States. Gordon is suffering from a mental breakdown believing most humans are 'Alien Invaders". He is also wanted for questioning in the attack on John "Master Chief" Spartan. Reward currently stands at $50 Million.|
|Cthulhu||April 5, 2010||#975|
|The Entity named Cthulhu is wanted by the governments of the World for his part in the End times and rising an army of aquatic creatures who wish to take over the World and Kill thousands. Reward currently stands at $25 Million.|
|Adam West||December 8, 2007||#489|
|Adam West is Wanted for impersonating Batman, running naked through the streets of Gotham City, Quahog, and South Park, AND a report of attacking Captain Picard for stealing his spotlight on Fox primetime. Reward stands at $7 Million|
|Jack Bauer||April 5, 2010||#024|
|Ex-Agent Jack Bauer is wanted by the citizens of the united states for prematurely canceling the series 24. Also wanted for committing illegal acts of torture in Los Angeles. Later committed acts of Terrorism in Washington D.C. and was lats Seen in New York City. Reward stands at $5 Million.|
Previous List Members
|Photo||Name||Date Added||Date Removed||Current Holding Place||Sequence Number|
|Tom Cruise||June 2, 2007||October 6, 2009||Toronto, Canada||#487|
|Tom Cruise was wanted for kidnapping Katie Holmes, cloning a George Bush baby and spreading sinister Scientology as well as a long list of horrible films from 2002 to 2007. Reward stands at $15 Million. He was finally captured in October 2009 trying to cross into Canada. Upon Capture he continued to repeat the words "Katie's dead, Katie's dead!". It unknown what he meant by this as his kidnapped wife "Katie Holmes" is confirmed alive and resting at the Cruise Mansion in Hollywood. She has however developed a disliking for anyone who eats peas and constantly gives out a strange scream whenever someone shows emotion. Despite his recent escaped from Guantanamo Bay along with fellow Prisoners Harold and Kumar he has not been returned to the list.|
|Mcg||May 22, 2009||January 20, 2009||Unknown||#115|
|McG was wanted for crimes against film, bagel theft and giving false details in regards of a name. He was placed on the FBI Ten Most Wanted Fugitives list by previous acting president George Bush who was outraged by Mcg's use of his favourite films such as War of the Worlds and Transformers. McG is currently removed from the list as Barack Obama feels Tim Burton poses a greater threat to film. Mcg's current location is unknown.|
|Rocky||December 20, 2006||February 19, 2010||St. Jews Hospital in Vermont (On life Support)||#525|
|Ralph "Rocky" Balboa was wanted for making ANOTHER pointless movie and waisting more Movie-goer's time. Removed from list after suffering a near fatal heart attack. Currently on Life Support.|
|Plankton||October 6, 2009||March 15, 2010||Still at large||#.0001|
|Plankton is wanted for trying to bring down 7 major fast food chains including Burger King, Wendy's, KFC, and others. He is also wanted for spreading illness among civillians via infected food and fake flu shots. Reward stands at $5 Million. Removed from the main list due to the new appointment of Actor Keanu Reeves.|
|Jesus||Date unknown||April 5, 2010||believed Dead||#000|
|Jesus was wanted for allowing this pathetic planet to live for so long, and leaving us just as the Ultimate evil reared it's ugly head. A Reward was never posted. Removed from the list due to new evidence Proving he is deceased.|
|Tim Burton||December 21, 2007||April 05, 2009||Still At Large||#958|
|Tim Burton was wanted by the United States for allowing Warner Brothers to destroy the original Batman film series, and for working with Jack Sparrow in almost every movie he has done. Removed from the list after the edition of Cthulhu.|